


Unfaithfully Yours

by motteme



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, New York City, One-Sided Attraction, Slow Burn, Tattoo Artist Jiyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 14:46:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 56,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19253317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motteme/pseuds/motteme
Summary: After Seunghyun got a one of a kind job-offer he has to move to NYC as soon as possible — he even finds the perfect flat to stay at, it's just too bad that the landlord (aka Daesung's filthy rich aunt) doesn't like single dudes in her apartment, but prefers couples. Good thing that Jiyong is in desperate need for a place to stay as well, after his now ex-boyfriend kicked him out of his own apartment, and Seunghyun is desperate enough to ask a total stranger to be his fake-boyfriend so they can get the apartment.Not like anything could go wrong, right?





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> In case you wanna check out some gtop fanarts, videos, etc — or if you simply wanna talk, here are my other accounts! 
> 
> YouTube: motteme  
> Twitter: mottemotteme & motteme_art  
> Tumblr: mottemotteme & motteme-art  
> Instagram: mottemotteme & motteme_art
> 
> Since I am asbolutely garbage at holding back anything I have already finished I decided to post this early haha. This is actually meant for Seunghyun's discharge day so let's all just pretend that I am only uploading this then and not three weeks early, because I suck at holding anything back.
> 
> This is another one of those 'oneshots' that blew out of proportion, since it has a total of roughly 57k words — that's basically half the amount of my longest current ongoing fics wow.
> 
> I hope you guys like this one — since I really loved writing it! If you did, please tell me and leave a comment.

“Really?”

 

Sometimes life could really suck, like really _really_ suck, but thankfully today was not such a day for Seunghyun. Just about a week ago he had sent out a ton of applications — most of them to smaller firms and little studios, but also to the one he had always wanted to work at and there was literally no way he would get a job at one of the biggest entertainment companies in the country. He had sent out his portfolio, his diploma project — which was an animated short movie — and everything else he seemed fit and now he was actually so lucky to get a job. It was only a small position — assistant of the assistant’s assistant or something — but it already paid better than the job he had while he was still in college and from what he heard it was pretty common for them to keep you in their company once you were hired, meaning he had good chances at getting promoted if he played his cards right.

 

“Okay, thank you so much!”

 

He ended the call, still high on endorphins and was grinning from ear to ear — they had loved his portfolio and his diploma short movie, they had even contacted his professor to ask about him specifically and he _got the job_. The past few years had been hell all over, but finally something started to change. He would move to New York (which he had admittedly no idea about), work at his dream company and maybe finally find a girlfriend he could settle down with. Life was good.

 

Until Seunghyun realized that he just accepted a job, which he would be start working at _in a week and a half_ and lived about four hours away from his future workplace, which meant he needed to move. Quickly.

 

God fucking damnit.

 

A sudden sense of dread mixed with panic settled in the pit of his stomach, but he tried to ignore it and think logically about this — he should just start looking for a flat immediately and if he was lucky he could maybe find a cheap one. In the middle of New York City. Yeah, couldn't be that bad, right?

 

He made a beeline for his laptop and immediately started to type away on it, looking through various websites, scanning through the apartments that were listed, narrowing it down a bit to fit his budget and to areas that were not two hours away from 8th Avenue and which he could move in as soon as possible. You might think that in a city as big as New York it would be easy to find something — there were tons and tons of apartments listed anyways — but that was far from the truth. The first thing he noticed were the prices — who the hell would pay _that much_ for a simple one bedroom apartment? The prices were literally insane and even if his salary was more than enough in his eyes, it was definitely not enough to live there — let alone afford anything else but the rent.

 

His stomach started to hurt the more he looked — if the prices were okay, the flat was either a total shit hole or the neighbourhood was a nightmare. If the flat was okay looking, the price normally wasn’t and in most cases the neighbourhood was terrible, too and when he looked through the neighbourhoods that were okay to live in, the prices skyrocketed.

 

He rubbed his hands over his tired face and the next time he looked up from his laptop he realized that it was three in the morning — maybe his company offered flats for employees that just moved from a different state to New York? Was that a thing they did? He remembered Daesung talking about something like that and —

 

Daesung.

 

Bingo.

 

They had been friends since kindergarten, but his friend had moved away to New York (Manhattan? Brooklyn? — he couldn’t really remember) a few years ago and they were still close friends. While he knew he couldn’t move in with Daesung, he knew that his aunt owned a few places all across New York and maybe she could help him find something. If he remembered correctly, Daesung had even mentioned something about his aunt talking about looking for a new tenant, since she had to kick out the last one duo to him not respecting the ‘no wild partying’ rule the complex had agreed on — seemed like it be in one of the better areas in New York then. Besides, his aunt was filthy rich.

 

He scrambled for his phone again — quickly going through his contacts until he found the number he was looking for and dialled it (and totally ignoring the fact that it was almost quarter past three in the morning).

 

It took five rings until Daesung finally picked up his phone.

 

“Dear god, Seunghyun — do you have any idea what time it is? This better be an emergency.”, Daesung’s voice was thick with sleep and he slurred his words — he really had just woken him up, but he really wanted to get this settled as soon as possible.

 

“Yes, and I am so sorry, but this _is_ an emergency. Kinda — anyways, good news! I got a job at Universal and I am starting next week!”

 

“Wait, what — really?” Daesung suddenly sounded way more awake than just a few seconds before.

 

“Yes, really. I got a call just a few hours ago and they want me — which means I will move to New York City soon.”

 

“Okay, _that_ is indeed good news! We can meet up way more often again like we used to — I’ll show you around a bit, because I know how useless you are with directions and all that _and_ I know you will love the museums here.”

 

A smile tugged at his lips. It was good to hear that his childhood friend was this thrilled to have him back in the neighbourhood like that — he had missed Daesung quiet a lot during the past few years and they had only been able to meet up a handful of times each year (mostly thanks to Daesung’s parents) so having the other one around again would be amazing. He had spent the last three years in college mostly alone — he always had a hard time opening up to strangers, meeting new people was hard for him and he had gotten a bit of a reputation about being a hermit so new friends weren’t really on his agenda.

 

The only other friend he also had was Youngbae and sadly, they had lost contact when the younger one moved away as well — he didn’t blame him though, his parents had to move around quite a lot, because of their jobs and they had still been kids back then so it wasn’t like Youngbae could have said ‘no’ and stay behind.

 

But, hey. At least he would be able to spend more time with Daesung again — that was already a start.

 

“So what is the emergency? Not that I am not thrilled about this news — but it is.. almost half past three in the morning and I really need to sleep. I have an exam at 8 am, dude.”

 

“Okay — sorry. Well, you know how I just got accepted? Well, I don’t really have a place I could stay at and I looked at the places they listed online and, to put it simple, they all suck so bad I feel terrible for anyone who has to live in a place like that — or cost a fortune and I was wondering if maybe you or your aunt could help me find a place? Didn’t you say she was looking for someone to move in to one of her apartments?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah she just complained to me about it the other day actually — if you want I can call her or meet up with her later today and see what I can do? She is a bit strict and sometimes has ridiculous rules — or at least the landlord who owns the whole complex does, but I am sure it should be alright.”

 

“Thank you so much, Dae.”, he already felt as if someone lifted invisible weights off his shoulders and he sighed in relief, “— really, I was so close to having a panic attack.”

 

“Don’t thank me yet, thank me when you actually have a place to stay at — I mean, if everything goes down the drain you can temporarily move in with me, you would just have to tolerate my cousin and you know how much of a bitch she sometimes can be, but it’s better than living in the streets I promise.”

 

“Seriously, thank you so much! I’m already feeling better, because you want to help me with this — really and I am going to let you sleep now, good luck with your exam later!”

 

He heard a tired chuckle. “Thanks, Seunghyun. Good night!”

 

* * *

 

 

Fast forward three days later he arrived in New York — Daesung had worked his magic and talked to his aunt, who in return wanted to meet Seunghyun. He had met up with him and gave him his spare key in his lunch break for his flat so he could take a quick shower and change into different clothes — and then he had to go meet up with his aunt, Jiyeon. From what Daesung had told him over the years he knew that she was overall a nice lady, a bit peculiar in her ways to choose tenants and a bit uptight, but nice all in all.

 

At least he hoped so.

 

Daesung had also said the same thing about his oldest cousin Byungho and that guy was a nightmare to everyone who was not related to him — thankfully he had only visited once a year when they were kids, since he lived in Seoul and not in the States.

 

They had agreed to meet at a little café, maybe five minutes away from where Daesung lived, and Seunghyun arrived a few minutes earlier just to make sure. He didn’t want to leave a bad first impression after all.

 

As he waited, he took a closer look at his surroundings — the streets were busy, much like he had expected, and the sidewalks were overrun with people as well. Growing up in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania was definitely different to living in the middle of New York City. It started with the way the air smelt differently, over how people dressed — or behaved in general, or the cultural differences. It was a lot to take in, but Seunghyun found himself enjoying the diversity. Back home, everyone looked the same, dressed the same and god forbid if you talked about politics — that was just a big ‘no’, especially on Thanksgiving.

 

Then again, that was probably a big ‘no’ in every family.

 

His eyes roamed around, almost smiling at how different every person that walked by was.

 

Without meaning to, his eyes remained glued in one place — not far away from him stood another man. He was probably half a head smaller than Seunghyun and his body seemed lithe and fit, but almost _petite_ compared to Seunghyun — and as he turned around Seunghyun could see that he was definitely Asian, too. Maybe even Korean? He didn’t really think about that, though, he was too intrigued by the way he looked, the way he dressed. Seunghyun didn’t know what it was, but he admitted that the man looked good in his flashy clothes and with his brightly dyed hair.

 

As suddenly as these thoughts came, as suddenly they disappeared again as someone tapped his shoulder and he whirled around — coming face to face with an older looking woman (not _old_ old, but old enough to be Seunghyun’s mom), who smiled warmly at him.

 

“You must be Seunghyun, right?”

 

“Uh, yes ma’am.”, he awkwardly bowed his head a bit which made Jiyeon laugh, before she extended her hand and shook his hand. “I see you were raised traditionally, I like that.”

 

“Yes, my grandma mostly raised me and she was very strict when it came to traditions like that.”

 

Jiyeon smiled at him again, before asking him to follow her. The apartment was only ten minutes away from where Daesung lived — he didn’t really know where exactly he was, but the area seemed nice. It wasn’t in the middle of New York — no skyscrapers and all those typical things you normally thought about when you thought of New York — but not too far outside to be in a suburban region. It felt comfortable and good. There was a park nearby and grocery stores, too — seemed like a good neighbourhood and Seunghyun suddenly started to fear how much it would cost him to live here.

 

The house itself was nice and clean too — only four stories and each apartment had a spacious basement as well (and a balcony, too) — and the neighbours (an elderly couple, who was holding hands) he passed when they rode up the elevator seemed sweet, too. They walked down the corridor and came to a stop in front of the last door on the right side — Jiyeon opened the door and stepped aside, letting Seunghyun pass her through the door, before closing it again once both of them were inside.

 

The flat itself was as beautiful as the rest of the house had been — once you passed the front door you stood in a small-ish room, where a wardrobe for coats and shoes were placed in, along with a commode right to the left side. Right across from the door which lead to the next room was a huge  full length mirror and Seunghyun gapped a little at it. It looked expensive, and he heard a small chuckle coming from Jiyeon as she passed him and walked into the next room, which turned out to be the living room with a dining area — once Seunghyun fully entered he realized that the kitchen was also part of it, almost like a loft, and as he looked around he decided that he really liked it that way. He loved to cook and having this much room meant that 1) he could finally cook to the extend he wanted to and 2) he could invite as many people over as he wanted and make enough food for them — the thought alone made him smile (though the only person he would most likely cook for was Daesung whenever he came over, but that was a start).

 

Jiyeon walked through the living room and opened the curtains, pulling them aside to reveal a window front, along with a glass door that lead to a spacious balcony. You had a direct view of the park and the whole atmosphere seemed very calming — Seunghyun had grown up in a environment similar to this one and even though he had been more than happy to move to New York, he had quickly sobered up about the idea of actually living directly in the city. He stepped outside and took a look around — the neighbours balcony wasn’t in his view since they had put up a few plants and they perfectly formed a barrier between his and their balcony.

 

“It‘s really nice to live here — this was actually the very first flat I lived in and bought later on. The first thing I did was put a few plants here, similar to the neighbours, and put a comfortable chair down there-“, she pointed at the other side of the balcony, away from the neighbours, “- it felt amazing to come home and be surrounded by nothing but plants and my pet cat back then. Life in the office can be terribly draining, but this helped me calm down after work.“

 

Seunghyun simply smiled and nodded at her, already envisioning what it would be like to come home after a long day at the studio, leaving behind all his worries and just _relax_. Jiyeon was right — this seemed like the perfect place to just calm down and relax and the more time he spent here the more he actually wanted to live here.

 

They moved on to the other rooms — there were three more rooms of equal size and two bathrooms and Seunghyun felt anxiety bubble up inside of him again. This place must cost a fortune — either that or there had to be _something_ he was missing, but he couldn’t think of anything. Instead, he looked around the place, already thinking about where he would place which furniture, where he would locate his office and what the hell he would do with another room. He could maybe make it into a library of some sort? But the room was too big and he could probably store most of his books in the living room anyways — maybe a gym? He quickly discharged that idea as well, since he knew from experience that he didn’t do shit at home.

 

“Alright, this is about it. You have seen the whole flat now — we can also go down to the basement if you want, but it‘s not really exciting if you ask me. There is an extra room where you can put your bike, if you have one, and there is also a washing room if you ever have difficulties with the dryer or the washing machine.“

 

Seunghyun nodded again and Jiyeon had to smile. “You aren‘t much of a talker, are you?“

 

“Ah, sorry no. I am pretty quiet usually — the only times when I get a bit more uh, you know _dorky_ and _extroverted_ is when I am with Daesung, but that‘s about it.“

 

“I can see that, yeah.“, she smiled again, “-so when do you want to schedule the next appointment?“

 

“The next appointment?“, the uneasy feeling in his stomach suddenly expanded to his whole abdomen and settled in.

 

“Oh, you know— to show it to your girlfriend.“

 

Seunghyun felt sick. “My girlfriend?“

 

“Oh, sorry! Is it a boyfriend then? You know, I only give my flats out to couples — I had this single guy once and all he did was party and invite people over and more than once did the neighbours call the police, because of him and ever since then I decided to never let someone live here alone and I never had troubles with couples before — and don‘t be afraid to tell me if you have a boyfriend. I might be old, but I am not _that_ old fashioned!“

 

His stomach twisted and turned — so that was the hook. She only gave it away to couples, to someone who was in a relationship — something Seunghyun had yet to fully experience (his ex-lovers all had been short affairs and never lasted longer than a few weeks, not that he dated that much before that). “Ah, yes my boyfriend. Uhm, he is pretty busy these days, but I will meet him later anyways so if it is okay I can call you back tomorrow or so?“, Jesus Christ, what the hell was he even talking about? He was _single as someone can be_. “He will be pretty tired after working today since he had that huge thing going on at work so my best guess is maybe sometime next week?“, Seunghyun, _shut the fuck up_.

 

“Oh, that is fine by me!“, Jiyeon smiled once again and affectionately patted his shoulder, “Just call me sometime next week so we can discuss the finer details. I‘m sure you two are an adorable couple and I would love to have you living here.“

 

“Ah, thank you so much.“, Seunghyun felt awful about lying like that to her, but he had already opened his mouth so better he would pretend until the very end.

 

* * *

 

 

They didn’t talk much longer about the flat, but instead left and Jiyeon was nice enough to walk Seunghyun back to the small café where she had picked him up and even though his mind was screaming at him for fucking up like this, he was glad that she escorted him back since, you know, he had no idea about New York _at all_ and he even forgot Daesung‘s address. Jiyeon said goodbye and walked into the opposite direction Seunghyun needed to go, but he really didn‘t feel like talking to Daesung right now — if he did he would most likely punch him in the throat for not telling him about that little aspect when it comes to having his aunt as a landlord.

 

He walked into the small café, ordered coffee, and sat down with a painfully long sigh at the back of it. Seunghyun was absolutely screwed, what the hell should he do? Maybe pretending his hypothetical boyfriend had dumped him? Make her pity him? She seemed to like him so maybe that could work? He could also tell Daesung about his little plan and rope him in since that traitor had just kept quiet about that fact and let him walk into this dilemma without any back-up.

 

Ugh, who was he kidding. He was utterly screwed. Completely. Jiyeon wouldn’t believe him and even though he was a good actor, he was a terrible liar. She would probably see right through him the second he opened his mouth, he was already surprised she believed him when he said he had a boyfriend — which was ridiculous to begin with (not that there was anything against having a boyfriend, it had more something to do with him being straight as an arrow). Besides, who would even want to date him? Not even one girl liked him, why should a guy have a different standard than girls had? He buried his face in his hands — he was going to live under a bridge.

 

“— well, what do you want me to do? It is not my fault my ex is an asshole and I can‘t just live on your couch forever, Chaerin.“

 

“But you aren‘t annoying so— “

 

“But all of my things are still at his place and I really want to live by myself again — but apparently the universe doesn't like me much, because every flat I have seen so far is either too expensive, rat infested or my roommates would be utter creeps that would probably film me while I‘m taking a shower while jacking off and upload it to YouPorn with the caption ‘Young Asian Twink having a Good Time‘ or something“.

 

Seunghyun had always had a thing for believing in stuff like the universe sending you messages, sending you help whenever you needed it — he also admitted to _kinda_ having a thing for astrology (which he often linked to the fact that he was a Scorpio and Scorpios _love_ anything that allows them to be analytic of basically anything (also it was a very nice ego boost to hear that you were mysterious and sexy)), so this had to mean something, right?

 

His head shot up and his eyes darted around the room, trying to pinpoint the voice to someone — there was no one in front of him so that must mean it was someone next to him. Seunghyun tried to be subtle when he shifted his head, tried not to stare at the two people sitting at the table next to them. It was the same guy Seunghyun had seen just a bit before he walked off with Jiyeon to examine the flat. Without thinking, he got up — his mouth working faster than his mind as it usually did these days.

 

“I‘m sorry, but you are looking for a place to stay?“

 

He already regretted saying anything at all when he was met with a deathly glare coming from the young man, but relaxed a little bit when Chaerin (?) smiled at him a little bit.

 

“Why do you care? Do you always eavesdrop on people like that? What are you, some kind of creep that wants to lure in people like that?“

 

“He can lure me whenever he wants, look at that jawline, Ji.“, Seunghyun felt a blush form on his cheeks as he heard Chaerin talk like that. Shit, he wasn‘t really used to being low-key hit on like that — was that even a word? Damn, his brain had stopped working and this Ji guy was still glaring at him, so much for the universe sending someone his way that would make life easier.

 

Ji only rolled his eyes at what Chaerin had just said, his glare shifting to her. “Really? Is that really what you just said? Do you even listen to yourself talk, woman? I struggle so much these days and you go off and flirt with some random hot dude?“

 

“Hot?“, Seunghyun felt dumbstruck, his voice nearly cracked and the blush deepened.

 

“Oh, come on just look at him! How can someone like that be a creep — he looks adorable and would it be that bad to just listen to what he has to say before you crucify him like that?“, without missing a beat, Chaerin got up from her seat, took the chair Seunghyun had been sitting on and dragged it to their table.

 

“I really don‘t want to bother you guys, I am sorry I shouldn’t have-“

 

“Damn right.“, wow this guy was quite a handful.

 

“Shut it, Jiyong. Besides, he looks a lot better than everyone else who offered you a place to stay at, right?“, Chaerin stopped looking at Ji with a playful smirk on her lips before she turned to Seunghyun again and made him sit down. Seunghyun‘s ears were burning by this point and he vaguely feared that this guy — who was _probably_ a Leo — would charge at him with a fork, or something else that is sharp and pointy.

 

Jiyong didn’t say anything and just leaned back in his chair, still glaring daggers, but at least he didn’t look as if he was trying to murder Seunghyun with his gaze — that was a plus right?

 

“So, tell me your name. I am Chaerin, and this is Jiyong.“, he heard Jiyong scoffing, but trained his eyes on Chaerin.

 

“I‘m Seunghyun, it‘s a pleasure to meet you-“, he quickly turned to Jiyong, “- both.“, Jiyong only rolled his eyes at that.

 

“Okay, now. Why did you ask if he needed a place to stay?“

 

“Oh, uhm it‘s just that-“, he stopped mid sentenced and sighed. How on earth should he even think about explaining this to someone? Better just get through with it.

 

“Okay so, I am about to start working at a studio as an animation assistant and I have been looking for a place to stay, because it was kinda of a last minute agreement with my new boss so I am kinda panicking. I asked my friend, Daesung, if he could talk to his aunt, because I knew she owned some flats around here and I met up with her to examine one of her flats and I have to say it‘s beautiful.“

 

Venom dropped from Jiyong‘s voice. “So why don‘t you just move in? Too expensive?“

 

“No, but let‘s just say Jiyeon is really specific about who she wants to move into her apartments. I was so happy when I saw the place, it‘s not too far from here, maybe ten minutes by foot? And the place is huge — Wait, I can show you pictures I just went there.“, he quickly fished out his phone — his fingers were shaking a bit and he tried to move quickly so they wouldn’t see that he had fucking SpongeBob Squarepants and Patrick Star as his wallpaper, but Jiyong had moved closer to him as soon as he mentioned the pictures and from the corner of his eyes he saw a faint smirk tugging on his lips.

 

He quickly opened the folder in which he had saved them and pushed his phone awkwardly into Jiyong‘s hands, praying he wouldn’t embarrass himself even more. “Here — there are like four rooms, the living room is the biggest, but the other rooms are pretty big as well. There even is a basement and a huge balcony and I met some of the neighbours, they were sweet and the neighbourhood seems to be good too? I am not from here so I really don‘t know anything, but it seemed quiet and peaceful — I don't know if you‘d like that, but like I said it is only 10 minutes by food from here so it is not in the middle of nowhere.“, he stopped talking for a second, trying to calm down his bouncing leg, but it didn‘t really work. Shit, he needed to get used to talking to strangers again.

 

“— and about the complicated part; you see, she only wants couples to stay in her flat. She once let a single guy stay there and all he did was party and invite people over and she doesn’t want that so according to her logic and experience it is better to have a couple living there because there is less of an hassle and first she asked me if I had a girlfriend, but I was too dumbfounded to answer, because I‘ve been single for so long now, and she just assumed I was reacting like that, because I had a boyfriend and I panicked and just rolled with it and then I panicked more because she wanted to set another date for the next time we‘d meet up to, you know, show the flat to my boyfriend and please, I know how this all sounds insane and stupid, but please Jiyong, be my fake-boyfriend. I swear I am not a creep that will upload anything on the internet like that — hell, most of the time I will be holed up at the studio probably anyways.“ — his voice had turned from a low ramble to a desperate pitch as he looked over at Jiyong with big eyes, but the other man just stared at him.

 

There was an awkward silence between the three of them — Chaerin was looking at him with an amused smile on her lips, her eyes darting between him and Jiyong. The man in question simply looked through the pictures, his face like a perfect mask — not giving anything away at all and it freaked Seunghyun out. The chattering in the café was the only source of noise right now.

 

Well, that was until a fourth person stumbled upon their table. “Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late — needed to drop off Hyorin and we ran into- Seunghyun is that you?“

 

Maybe there was indeed some kind of God or Cthulhu who was pulling the strings in the universe in his favour, because the person that just came to them was none other than Dong Youngbae — former childhood friend of Seunghyun and right now the best that could probably happen to him, because Youngbae knew Seunghyun and he knew that Seunghyun wasn't a creep or a weirdo (okay, that was debatable) and maybe he could convince Jiyong to move in with him.

 

“Wait, you guys know each other?”

 

Seunghyun got up from his seat and turned to Youngbae, trying to suppress his laughter as he noticed how _short_ his friend was. Back when they were kids, Seunghyun had been the short one, but this? This was too good and Seunghyun couldn't help but laugh.

 

“Jesus, how come _you're_ the short one now?”

 

“It's not my fault you grew up so big and wow, all your baby fat is gone! If my grandma hadn't shown me a picture of you a while ago I wouldn't have recognized you at all — how have you been? How come you're in New York?”, Youngbae stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug while talking, which Seunghyun gladly returned.

 

“Actually I got a job offer here and right now I'm kinda trying to find a place to stay at — are you and Daesung talking by the way?”

 

“He moved here as well? Jesus, how come I missed that, you have to call him and we all have to meet up someday like old days and-”

 

“Uhm, guys! Could you maybe finally tell us what the hell is going on and how come you know this _weirdo_.“, Jiyong's voice sounded icy and his eyes were sharp, but underneath of that Seunghyun swore he could see a twinkle of amusement.

 

Youngbae grabbed another chair and pushed Seunghyun down on his own again, making them all sit down again. “Well, Seunghyun here and I grew up in the same neighbourhood when we were little — together with another friend, Daesung. I moved when I was still young and then I met you guys”, he turned to Seunghyun again, “but really, it's good to see you again. We had so much fun as kids it would be awesome if we could become friends like that again.”  

There was an honest, warm smile on Youngbae's lips and it made Seunghyun almost feel at ease. “Gladly, especially now that I'm taller than you — I'm totally gonna get my revenge for all the times you bullied me because of my height.”

 

Seunghyun chuckled as he saw how fake offended his friend looked. “Me? Bullying you? Oh please, Choi. Did you hit your head too hard or something? I'm an angel.”

 

“Lucifer is an angel, too, you know.”

 

They looked at each other for a moment before they started to cackle like the idiots they were — he hadn't seen the other man in nearly ten, fifteen years, but it felt as if they had never been apart. His eyes wandered from Youngbae back to Chaerin and Jiyong.

 

There was still sharpness in Jiyong's eyes, but it wasn't the life threatening kind of glare, more for show than anything else he assumed.

 

“So how do you know Jiyong and Chaerin? You guys didn't tell me that you know Seunghyun.”

 

“It's because we don't.”, Jiyong replied dryly.

 

Youngbae looked confused. “Then how come you guys are sitting here together?”

 

“Seunghyun here asked me to be his boyfriend.”

 

What a little shit. Seunghyun immediately felt the blush creep up on his cheeks, but Jiyong seemed u bothered — he even had a cocky grin on his face.

 

“I didn't know you swing that way, Hyung.”

 

“It's not-, I don't okay? Not that there is anything against swinging that way it's just —”, Seunghyun took a deep breath, trying to calm down so he could explain this insane situation.

 

“Daesung’s aunt, remember? Jiyeon? The rich one? Well, she has an apartment not far from here and I went to see it and it's perfect okay, the only thing that sucks is that she only wants couples in her apartments and I overheard Jiyong talk about how he needed a place to stay so yeah, here I am making an idiot out myself as usual and probably crept out everyone involved.”

 

As expected, Youngbae started to laugh. “Oh boy, please tell me you said yes Jiyong. I know Jiyeon from back then and she is _filthy rich,_ okay? Seunghyun here is really a softy by the way, his eyebrows only look scary, but he is a teddy bear and I think you two could really hit it off. Plus, you really _do_ need a place to stay at, Ji.“

 

“Well, seems like I found myself a boyfriend.”

 

Seunghyun just stood there for a moment, letting the words sink in and then his mouth gaped open and he started at the other man. “Wait, for real?“

 

There must have been something funny about the way he nearly jumped out of his seat and how his voice pitched higher than usually, because Jiyong suddenly started to laugh — gums showing and all that and Seunghyun felt his heart jump — he had a roommate. He wouldn't have to live under a bridge — he'd live in an amazing flat not far from his workplace and he had also found another childhood friend.

 

“Yes, for real. But don't expect me to cook for you and play housewife — if there is something I suck at then it's cooking.”

 

“Don't worry, I'll cook. I love cooking — but you'd have to be the one that keeps the place clean then. I suck at cleaning and the last time I did my laundry on my own everything turned pink and as much as I love that color, it ruined too many shirts.”

 

“Deal, I have a bit of an OCD anyways so the place will be clean.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Good.”

 

Seunghyun couldn't help but smile sheepishly at Jiyong.

 

“Well, _lovebirds,_ now that that's settled how about we get some drinks later tonight and think about a cover story for you two?”, Chaerin suddenly had a wolfish smile on her lips and Seunghyun wasn't sure if he liked it or not, but he tried not to panic, ”You know, where you guys met, how you fell in love and how loud Jiyong can be in bed.”

 

“Chaerin!”

 

Jiyong sounded both — mildly offended and immensely entertained. “What? Knowing some juicy details could be an advantage, you never know. Slip a dirty, but socially semi-acceptable comment, and I'm sure your soon to be landlord is more likely to fall for it.”

 

His eyes suddenly lighted up and he turned his attention towards Seunghyun again — “So, speaking of which, any special kinks I should know of? Maybe bondage? S&M? Dominant and Submissive tendencies, or maybe totally vanilla?”

 

The room suddenly felt ten times hotter than it had been a minute before and Seunghyun felt his cheeks burn once again —  this guy was really good at riling him up, that he had to admit. He felt his pulse quicken as embarrassment flooded through him, but tried to mask it up. “Seems more like you are quoting your kinks, not listing random ones if you ask me. Should I store this little information away from when we meet the landlord?”

 

He heard Youngbae snort next to him and smirked when he heard a similar noise from Chaerin — this shouldn’t be this entertaining, but the way Jiyong reacted was both hilarious and a bit endearing. He opened his mouth, trying to come up with something, but eventually resigned and took another sip of his coffee, hiding his embarrassment. Seemed like Seunghyun hit the nail on the head.

 

“See, told you you’d get along!”, Youngbae playfully patted their backs. “Just so you know you guys better invite me to the wedding.”

 

“In your dreams, Bae!”

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later they all met up at a pub not too far away from where they all had met, this time Daesung was with them, too and another girl Seunghyun did not recognize —  she was shorter as him (duh) and had dark, long hair with bangs and apparently a close friend of Chaerin. —  Seunghyun looked around for a second; Youngbae was there too and there was yet another girl he didn’t know right at his side laughing at whatever Jiyong just had said. His momentarily stopped as he saw the other man —  he was wearing a different outfit now; a sleeveless top that revealed several tattoos on his arms and what he could see on the side of his abdomen, and leather pants so tight Seunghyun had thought only girls could wear them, but for some reason they looked really fashionable on Jiyong.

 

Just as he was about to walk up to their booth, Chaerin appeared next to him —  holding a few drinks —  with a bright smile on her lips. “Seunghyunnie! You came —  and you brought a friend?” Seunghyun awkwardly stepped aside and pushed Daesung in front of him who gladly returned Chaerin’s bright smile. “Hey, nice to meet you I’m Daesung and part time babysitter for this big guy over there.”, he pointed back with his thumb, not even looking at Seunghyun and the older man groaned.

“Nice to meet you, too —  you need to meet the others as well!”

 

They quickly walked over to the booth —  Chaerin pushed Jiyong aside, who was waving dramatically with his hands, gesturing while speaking, and placed their drinks on the table. Youngbae immediately got up to welcome them and pulled the two of them to the round table they were sitting at. The short man sat next to Hyorin, who he introduced as his girlfriend. Chaerin had scooted up until she was sitting next to her friend Bom, leaving enough room for Daesung and Seunghyun to sit down. Jiyong had sat down on the only chair that was available at the table, meaning he would sit between Youngbae and Seunghyun —  at least that was what Seunghyun had thought, but as soon as he sat down next to Daesung, Jiyong took a seat next to him. It was a rather close fit, but as everyone moved a bit —  not leaving big gaps between everyone —  Jiyong had enough space to sit comfortably. But they were still close enough for Seunghyun to notice that Jiyong faintly smelled like peaches —  maybe his shampoo? Whatever it was, it was good and peaches had always been his favourite fruit anyways (and yes, he completely ignored his allergy no one was going to get between him and his peaches).

 

Drinks kept on coming, spirits were high and Seunghyun really couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed being with so many people, hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time he even had been with so many people. — Hyorin and Youngbae were such a sweet couple; he learned that they were each other’s first relationship and he admired Hyorin for her nerves of steel for tolerating Youngbae’s terrible (they were actually good) puns. Chaerin was full of character and he really liked talking to her as well and Bom was such a sweet girl, too and he wondered if maybe she would someday want to go out with him —  but he quickly pushed that thought away. They had all just met and he could use friends more than a relationship anyways and he really didn’t want to fuck anything up on the very first day.

 

Daesung opened up quickly; he and Chaerin were the ones talking the loudest on the table and it was only after a while that he noticed that Jiyong had grown quiet next to him. He leaned back and looked over at his soon-to-be-pretended-boyfriend, who was already looking at him. “Hey there, come here often?” — If Jiyong would have remained serious he would have sincerely been taken aback by his straightforwardness, but not even 0.4 seconds later the other man bursted into a fit of giggles and took another sip from his beer.

 

“Well, if that means I get to see your pretty face more often than yes.” —  Seunghyun puckered his lips in an exaggerated manner, making obnoxious kissing noises which made the other one laugh even harder.

 

“God, you’re terrible!”

 

“Good terrible, or bad terrible?”

 

“I haven’t decided, yet. You will have to wait for the final verdict once we have been living together for a couple of months.”

 

Seunghyun smiled. “So you really want to move in with me and play my fake boyfriend?”

“To move into an amazing apartment with eye candy like you? Hell no.”, Jiyong was still smiling brightly and Seunghyun felt his pulse quicken. He wasn’t used to getting compliments —  not at all, so whenever someone said something remotely nice about him, he reacted this way. He shyly turned away for a second, a bashful smile on his lips, and then took another sip of his drink.

 

“So, what is our story?” —  the slight awkwardness that had been creeping up in his chest, disappeared immediately. For some reason it seemed as if Jiyong was really good at reading between the lines —  something people rarely were able to do with him and it was refreshingly nice that Jiyong seemed to easily detect whenever Seunghyun felt uneasy.

 

“Well, how about a long distance relationship? Since I just moved her for the job more or less —  we could have met over Youngbae since we both know him.”

 

“Hmm, I like that idea —  very romantic, when did we start dating? Oh, and you need to write me down some things like, your birthday, hometown, favourite food, hobbies and the name of your pets when you were younger or from your stuffed animal.”

 

“How about your favourite sex position, too?“

 

They had been in such a deep conversation that Seunghyun didn’t even realize Chaerin watching them, let alone listen, let alone participate in their conversation. Seunghyun nearly chokes on his drink — this was definitely not something he thought he would be discussing. “Excuse me, what?“

 

A Cheshire Cat like grin spread across her face and out of the corner of his eyes he saw Jiyong making a similar face. “Oh, you know. So you can slip a juice comment about how good Jiyong spreads his legs for you, but in a lowkey, more socially accepted way than that.“ — he can hear Jiyong laughing again and his mouth goes dry. Chaerin was really shameless and he could see why Youngbae seemed to be such good friends with her.

 

“Oh, don‘t be like that. It is only his first day of knowing us and you are already scaring him away, Chaerin.“ — he can see the way Chaerin continues to grin, but backs off after Jiyong came to his rescue and sends him a thankful smile.

 

“Sorry she sometimes doesn’t know when to stop.“

 

“It‘s alright, my older sister is the same. When I was dating my ex she bombarded me with questions, too. I am used to it.“

 

“So you dated a lot, I guess?“, Seunghyun was taken aback by that question and looked at the other man with confusion in his eyes. “Dated a lot? Why would you think that?“ The cold, hard truth was that he had only dated once. Back in high school. He had fallen in love with a girl fast and hard, but things ended terribly and it actually took him two or three years to get over her. It had been three years since that, but people just didn‘t seem to like him much for whatever reason, girls even less so, and since he had been busy with college anyways he just gave up.

 

But then Jiyong smirked at him again and he could swore he gave him a once over, before his eyes lingered on his face. “You kidding, right?“

 

Did he miss something?

 

“Uh, no. You see I grew up in a small town and well, people there don‘t really like Asian guys? I mean, I doubt that I would have better chances here in New York, too, but yeah, no I did not date much.“ Seunghyun awkwardly reached for his glass of gin tonic, suddenly feeling flustered. This guy was really good at riling him up.

 

“Well, I am more than sure that you will have better luck here. I mean, you do have a really handsome face, you are tall and super sweet as well and-“

 

Their conversation got disturbed once again, this time by a overly vocal and drunk Youngbae. “You guys can flirt anytime of the day from now on-“, his voice was slightly slurred already, “-but right now you are here with friends so bottoms up!“

 

Needless to say; Seunghyun didn‘t remember the rest of the evening that well. The only thing he did remember was that Jiyong was a really clingy drunk (also, that he really doesn’t mind being hugged by Jiyong as he normally did with people he only just met — but there was something to his newfound friend that calmed him and he smelled like peaches and peaches were his favourite food so it really was okay) as well and that he got his phone number so they could meet up again and eventually meet up with their (hopefully) new landlord.

 

* * *

 

 

After a quick phone call with Jiyong to talk about when they should schedule the appointment with Jiyeon he called her. She was almost overly excited that he called her back for some reason, but not in an unpleasant way. More as if the older woman had already been desperately looking for someone to stay at the flat, but no one suited her taste. Seunghyun just really hoped they would be able to pull off the whole couple thing well enough for her to believe it.

 

Which got him thinking; maybe they should practice being close with each other before they met up with Jiyeon? It would definitely help them at acting more natural for sure, because as much as he liked Jiyong, he was sure that it would make him feel more at ease if they ‘practiced‘, before they did the whole thing.

 

Seunghyun was practicing a speech with his phone in hand about how he could propose the idea of his, but him being his awkward self-made everything sound cringey and utterly terrible. Thankfully, Jiyong seemed to have the same idea, because he got pulled out of his thoughts by the younger man calling him and asking him if he wanted to come over to talk about some things and also come up with nicknames and all that.

 

Jiyong told him to meet him after he was done with work and to his surprise the address was the location of a tattoo parlour. It only dawned on him now that he literally had no clue about what Jiyong‘s profession was or literally anything about the other man. This really had been a good idea.

 

“Hey! You could have come in, too, you know? Sorry for the wait — the last client, his tattoo, took longer than expected and then I needed to clean up and make sure everything was locked up.“

 

“So, you work as an tattoo artist?“

 

There was something adorable about the way Jiyong smiled and his eyes started to sparkle. “Yes, but I am also the owner of the shop.“ — now that was an interesting fact. Seunghyun took a step back and looked at the shop behind them — you could see through the glass front and into the shop; there were loads of posters on the wall, even a few plants if his eyes weren‘t playing tricks on him, and it overall left a really friendly impression. It was so different from what he had thought a tattoo parlour would look like — then again, in his hometown tattoos weren’t really a thing and his grandmother had continuously told him that only thugs had tattoos.

 

“Do you maybe want to come inside and take a look?“

 

“Uhm, if you don‘t mind? You just locked up the place after all.“

 

Jiyong smiled at him again and Seunghyun suddenly felt nervous as he watched him smile that brightly and started to unlock the door again. It was not something common for him to happen — though maybe now that Jiyong and he would be roommates it maybe would be — that he stepped into a tattoo parlour. He shook his head and forced the tingly feeling as he followed Jiyong into the shop away.

 

A few seconds later and the shop was illuminated and Seunghyun could take a closer look — he recognized some of the poster as movie poster. Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, that one movie with Jack Nicholson which‘s title he always forgot, but he knew it had something to do with a cuckoo, and so many more. The entrance area had three sofas, black leather, and looked extremely comfortable. Behind the reception was a big area where loads of things and what looked like bookshelves were placed.

 

“Over there are a few of my works — when people come here there are two possibilities; they already know what they want tattooed and have a finished design with them and I just have to trace it, they do know what they want, but don‘t have a design yet, or they have no clue at all.“, Jiyong walked up to one of the shelves and pulled out something that looked like a photo book. “For the second and third case, I have these prepared. If you already have an idea about the image you can look through these and see if something is similar to what you want and I will go along with their ideas and their taste — when they have no idea at all I give them these books as an inspiration. Sometimes they see a tattoo and just know that that is the design they want.“

 

Seunghyun carefully took the book and started to look through the imagines and gaped — the designs were marvellous; clear lines and the shading was simply perfect, too. All the proportions were correct, perfect even, and Seunghyun felt slightly envious at his talent. This was not something you saw every day, Seunghyun who was coming from a creative background as well, knew that all too well. Jiyong was amazingly talented.

 

“These are incredible, Jiyong.“, he knew he wanted to say so much more, but as he looked up and saw how the other man smiled at him, his mind went blank. “I don‘t know what to say, I mean, I know how to draw, too — I am going to work for a movie studio soo, but you are really talented.“

 

“Thank you, Seunghyun.“, he saw the way Jiyong‘s fingers started to fidget.

 

“Never a problem.“

 

* * *

 

 

They stayed for another twenty or so minutes at the shop, which he now knew was called ‘The Red Dragon‘ — he had to smile at that name, since for one Jiyong‘s name basically meant ‘Ji-Dragon‘, and because Jiyong sheepishly admitted to be a huge fan of the Hannibal series (be it movies or tv show). It suited him and Seunghyun liked it. And he also was happy about the fact that Jiyong seemed to be a bit of a movie nerd, because now he actually had someone to talk to about all the movies he liked and he had seen and that he could watch with someone. Daesung wasn’t into movies _at all_ , no matter what genre —   okay no, the only genre he cared about were the Marvel and Star Wars movies and while he did really love the movies, it was a bit tiring to only talk about them and not about all the other amazing movies that existed out there. He once had tried to strike up a conversation about The Lord of the Rings saga, because he thought that maybe, just maybe, that way Daesung would be willing to extend the small circle of movies he enjoyed and it all ended up with one of their biggest fights. It wasn’t a ‘we are going to end our friendship’ type of fight, but still one of the worst fights they ever had so Seunghyun left him be. —  So having another movie nerd around was definitely a positive addition to his life.

 

After that, they walked back to Chaerin‘s place (where Jiyong was staying at these days) and the first thing they did was prepare dinner. Well, Seunghyun started to prepare dinner with the food they had picked up on their way back, while Jiyong watched and asked him random questions about his childhood like what his favourite colour was (pink), what his favourite stuffed animal was as a kid (his bear, Mr. Moustache) and what his favourite food was (sushi, definitely). They continued that game of twenty questions during dinner and it felt almost domestic in a way — he could really see himself and Jiyong living together. At first, he had feared that he and the younger one wouldn’t be able to form a friendship, but they got along well and were comfortable with each other.

 

Chaerin was out with her girlfriend for the evening, seeing some fancy play to something, and wouldn’t be home for a while so they decided to simply sit down in the living room once they were done with the food, but then the heaviness of this whole situation settled in. — Seunghyun started to feel nervous; what if he fucked up? What if he did something weird or something Jiyong didn‘t like? They _did_ had to pretend to be a couple so was holding hands okay?

 

“Uhm, so — how should we do this then?“, he hated how he let out a really nervous laugh after that but Jiyong didn‘t seem to mind, because he simply scooted closer to Seunghyun. The fluffy carpet underneath of him suddenly felt a lot realer than a second before, if that made any sense and his heartbeat picked up a notch again — he apparently was really concerned about messing this up, otherwise his heart wouldn’t be beating as fast as it was, right?

 

“Well, we do have to seem comfortable with being close to each other — right?“, Seunghyun nodded, “Then how about we hug?“

 

Okay, he could do that — they have done that before, if he remembered correctly, when they met up with the others and got drunk. He could do this, no problem. He hugged all of his friends —   well, Daesung and Youngbae, but that was a start, wasn’t it?

 

“Uhm, is there anything that is not okay? Like, I don‘t know how far this should go to be honest.“

 

Jiyong smiled at him again. “There really isn‘t anything I mind, really. You can grab me or hug me — even kiss me of you are comfortable with that.“, his heart gave out, “I mean, maybe it would be even good to kiss in front of her? Obviously not if that is too much for you, I don‘t want to make you uncomfortable, but maybe a kiss on the cheek? Something small?“

 

He nodded and awkwardly cleared his throat. His hands suddenly felt a bit sweaty — had the room been this hot before or did Jiyong turn up the heat? “Okay, yeah sure.“

 

The younger one carefully reached out and placed his hand on his chest — it made Seunghyun hold his breath, especially when his hand slowly wandered from his chest to his shoulder; he had never been overly keen on people touching him like that, even friends, but Jiyong‘s hands were warm and nice and he didn‘t mind as much.

 

“Would this be okay?“, he was looking up at him with careful eyes, trying to read his face as good as possible and to make sure he wasn‘t crossing any lines; at least Seunghyun liked to think about it that way and smiled.

 

“Yeah this is fine.“

 

Jiyong smiled at him, too and some of the nervousness disappeared and before he could react Jiyong was hugging him — arms thrown over his shoulders and tightly locked behind his neck and he could feel the younger one‘s chest press against his own and it felt so different form whenever he had hugged someone else this close (though, it probably has only been his ex-girlfriend he had ever hugged this tightly so the fact that it felt completely different from hugging a girl this tight was not weird — obviously hugging a man like this would feel different).

 

He carefully placed his hands on Jiyong‘s sides, unsure what to do and inwardly freaking out about this situation, but then Jiyong grabbed his hands and placed them tightly on his waist. “You said you dated before, right? Just touch me like you touched your ex-girlfriend, it‘s okay.“

 

Goosebumps suddenly spread across his skin as he heard Jiyong‘s low voice so close to his ear, but he did as Jiyong told him to. He pulled him even closer, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and pulling him up against his chest and Jiyong locked his arms around his neck again and even buried his head in the crook of his neck. The position was a bit awkward since the both of them were now kneeling on the floor, but Seunghyun didn‘t mind. They were doing this to get the flat and there were really worse things than to hug Jiyong — who smelled really good and was an excellent hugger.

 

The younger one pulled away and their faces were so close and then he suddenly placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Is that okay?“ — “Y-yeah.“ How come his lips felt so soft? Weren‘t guys usually the ones with dry lips? But now that he looked at Jiyong‘s lips he realized they didn‘t look dry at all. Huh, funny world. He should really stop thinking in boxes like that.

 

They eventually let go of each other and Seunghyun felt a lot better about this whole thing than before. Jiyong was a nice guy who he was comfortable being around — they obviously clicked and he was really grateful for meeting him; he could really use friends like him in his life.

 

“So, I guess we should be okay?“

 

“Yeah, we should be fine. I‘m normally really uncomfortable with hugging strangers, but I don‘t mind if it‘s you.“

 

Jiyong perked up at that. “Oh, really?“

 

“Yeah, I don‘t know why but you are really easy going and I am glad about that. I don‘t have many friends — Daesung and Youngbae are probably the only ones I would call ‘friends‘ — so I am really happy that I met you.“

 

His smile suddenly tightened a bit, before he bit his lip and chuckled. “Well, for what it‘s worth it, I am really glad I met you, too. I was really freaking out about not finding a place and all that and you must know how terrible the prices are. You really saved me and I mean, I only know you for a few days now, but I am sure we will get along well.“

 

Seunghyun smiled. He really lucked out with his new roommate.

 

* * *

 

 

It was Thursday when they met up with Jiyeon and Seunghyun felt nervous once again. He was comfortable with the younger one, that was clear, but would he also be able to pretend to be his boyfriend? That thought made his heart race.

 

They decided to meet up twenty minutes earlier, just to be sure — besides it would be good if they already goofed around a bit beforehand to make sure the touches and all that came more naturally, but to Seunghyun‘s surprise it was easy to slip into the role of Jiyong‘s boyfriend. They talked about many things and Jiyong casually took Seunghyun‘s arm and placed it over his shoulder while they walked down the street and slipped his hand into the back pocket of the pants he was wearing — that was definitely a new sensation. His ex had not really been touchy like that and Seunghyun suddenly realized that it tickled whenever Jiyong moved his finger‘s a bit, which made him tense up. How embarrassing —  he was ticklish on his _ass_ of all places. He would probably make a terrible gay man.

 

Jiyong immediately looked up at him and started to draw back his hand in concern. “Was that too much?“

 

He felt his cheeks heat up again. “Uh, no. It‘s fine — it‘s just that it tickles a bit?“

 

Jiyong stared at him with a blank look before he started to grin.

 

“You are ticklish on your butt, really?“

 

Oh no.

 

“You know what, no. I am just messing with you an-“, but it was too late. Jiyong already slipped his hands back into the pocket and moved his fingers, not squeezing too tight, but just enough for it to tickle and Seunghyun let out the most unmanly squeak of his life, before he burst out in giggles and tried to get away from the younger man.

 

“No, wait! Stop it, you-!“, but Jiyong continued and started to giggle as well, mercilessly tickling him until there were tears in his eyes and he tried to wriggle his hips and behind away from Jiyong, but the young man had quickly reflexes it seemed, because there was no getting away from him no matter how hard Seunghyun tried.

 

“Oh, young love! It is always good to see young couples be this playful!“ — they both stopped in their tracks and he felt Jiyong‘s fingers digging into his butt (that sensation definitely did _not_ tickle, but he quickly lost his train of thoughts when he realized Jiyeon was standing in front of them). He hadn’t even realized they had already reached their destination.

 

“H-hello Jiyeon!“, Seunghyun felt Jiyong draw back his fingers, but he quickly took a hold of his hand and placed it on his hip, pulling Jiyong closer in the act and putting his arm over his shoulder. He vehemently tried to ignore the embarrassment creeping up in him, but then he heard Jiyong giggle next to him again and he felt better.

 

“It‘s a pleasure to meet you — my name is Jiyong and as you guessed by now I am this dorks boyfriend.“, Jiyeon smiled and shook Jiyong‘s hand.

 

“Well then boys, let‘s take a look at your new apartment, shall we?“

 

Jiyeon walked into the complex and Seunghyun‘s first reaction was to look down at Jiyong with a splitting smile — had he heard right? From the way Jiyong was grinning up to him as well and tightening his hold on his hip he did. As they followed her inside Jiyong eagerly listened to whatever Jiyeon was telling him — Seunghyun wasn‘t really paying attention, too happy with the fact that this fake relationship thing seemed to play out just fine. The ride up the elevator only took a few seconds, but it felt a lot longer than that for some reason — Jiyong had let go of his hip and instead pulled the arm, which had been draped over his shoulder, down so he could hold his hand. At that moment Seunghyun realized that Jiyong‘s hands were not only warm, but just as soft as the other‘s lips and he started to wonder if Jiyong used a specific crème or if his skin was just that soft naturally. Lucky bastard, Seunghyun had to use moisturizer for his hands (especially during winter), otherwise his skin would crack.

 

They arrived at the apartment and Jiyeon let them take a look around the place. It was just as perfect as Seunghyun had memorized it and he felt another burst of happiness at the thought of actually living here — he could already picture it so well. His eyes drifted down to Jiyong. His eyes were shining and he looked pleasantly surprised.

 

“So, what do you think?“

 

The other man walked through the living room and looked at the two other room‘s in the back — he was obviously mapping out this place as well and thinking about how he could decorate it, too.

 

Seunghyun suddenly felt the presence of Jiyeon behind them and he had an idea. He dragged Jiyong into one of the rooms.

 

“Look at that, there even is a walk-in closet.“, he quickly walked over, letting go of Jiyong‘s hand, and opened the closet with a playful smile on his lips. “See, there is enough room for all your shoes and tacky coats!“

 

During dinner Jiyong had also admitted to be kind of a fashionista and that he owned a lot of clothes and shoes and Seunghyun had to laugh so hard at that for some reason he nearly choked on his pasta. It fit the younger man so well — the way he dressed was extravagant and very stylish, it was the first thing he had noticed about him anyways, and he could perfectly picture him sitting between piles of clothes, whining about not having anything to wear.

 

Jiyong suddenly gasped and glared at Seunghyun, but there was mischief in his eyes and Seunghyun knew this had been a good idea. “How dare you, they aren‘t tacky! Just because you dress like a salaryman from the late 80s doesn't mean I have to!“, he stalked over to the closet and pushed Seunghyun aside, walking inside to inspect the closet more. It was huge, at least by Seunghyun‘s standard, but he had no idea about how big or small a walk-in closet should be anyways so he didn‘t think too hard about it and just hoped that Jiyong would like it.

 

“Besides, don‘t think that you will be able to dress like that any longer. Now that we live together I can finally improve your wardrobe.“, Jiyong smirked up at him and even had the nerve to wink and Seunghyun playfully clutched his pearl‘s. “Plus, you know,“ his voice suddenly dropped low and was sweet as honey, “I really love to take your clothes off and I know for a fact that you love that too so don‘t try to argue on that one mister.“

 

There must be steam coming out of his ears or something, because he heard Jiyeon cackle behind them and Jiyong continued to smirk up at him with an almost innocent smile and all he could do was smile at him dumbfounded, until he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jiyong‘s temple.

 

“43 to 12 for you, babe.“ Jiyong cackled.

 

“So, you two have a bet going on or something?“, he heard the smile in Jiyeon‘s voice as the two of them finally emerged back from the closet.

 

“More or less, it is about how often he leaves me speechless and looking at how stunning he always looks and how quick his tongue works,“ was that an innuendo? “It is no surprise that he is winning.“ He looked over at Jiyong who was laughing so hard by now he tried to cover his mouth and laughter with the back of his hand, but failing miserably.

 

“Alright you two, I think it is quite obvious already, but I want you two to be my incoming tenant — that is if you want to live here.“

 

“We really do, Jiyeon. Thank you for trusting us.“

 

“I am sure you won‘t disappoint me — you two make such a lovely couple, the chemistry is obvious. If you two ever decide to marry, you absolutely have to invite me.“

 

Seunghyun chuckled bashfully at that — they really nailed their performance, didn’t they? A sudden wave of heat rolled through his body as he saw Jiyong beaming up at him — happiness spread across his face. He seemed to be really happy to move into this place as well.

 

“Well then, who wants to sign the contract?

 

 

* * *

 


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sidenote: this is the longest chapter lol roughly 26k if I remember right. 
> 
> Have fun reading this one!

During the next couple of days he rarely saw Jiyong, if not at all. They were too busy with packing everything and getting everything ready for the move — well, Jiyong was. Seunghyun would have to buy new furniture since moving the few pieces he owned from his hometown to New York would be too much of a hassle. Daesung, bless his angel heart, even paid for a few things — Seunghyun tried to talk him out of it (he hated when people spent money on him), but the other man wouldn’t hear any of it. So furniture shopping it was and Seunghyun would have never thought that he would enjoy it this much, but he absolutely loved it. There were so many amazing designs and so many possibilities it was hard to make a decision and after four and a half painful hours (for Daesung) they were finally done.

 

He and Jiyong had already agreed on who would move into which room (Seunghyun would get the one further away from the living room since it had an amazing view, but Jiyong didn‘t mind. He was the one who found the flat for them in the first place and since the rooms were identical in size it really didn‘t matter. (The only thing they really had to discuss was the walk-in closet, because it connected the bedrooms and therefore was meant for the both of them, but even with that they came to a quick agreement).

 

The last three days before Seunghyun started to work at the studio were filled with dragging boxes from Daesung‘s car into the elevator and then from the elevator into their flat and trying to figure out how to put together the new furniture. It was a pain in the ass but he somehow managed to finish most of it during two days and Seunghyun spent the last day before he started to work again with setting up Jiyong‘s router and then collapsing on (Jiyong‘s) couch in the living room to binge some Netflix. Jiyong spent his Sunday in a similar state — he dragged himself out of his room past noon, shuffled over to the kitchen and nearly cried when he realized they hadn‘t shopped for food yet. Thankfully, delivery services were a thing and that was how they ended up curled up on the couch, munching pizza and watching one episode of _Peaky Blinders_ after another. Sometime during the middle of season one, Jiyong put aside their pizza boxes and got some tissues for them to wipe the grease off their fingers and then simply curled up next to Seunghyun, using his shoulder as a pillow. “You‘ll make an awesome boyfriend one day, just saying.“

 

Seunghyun finally turned his attention away from the screen and down to where Jiyong was cuddling up against his side. “Oh, will I? Really?“

 

“Yeah,“ Jiyong yawned, only to pull a blanket over his shoulders, “Some girl will be really lucky to call you hers, I‘m sure.“

 

He didn‘t know why, but that comment made him smile real big. Jiyong thought he would be a good boyfriend? It was such a sweet gesture and Seunghyun really appreciated it. Up until now he still had heard his ex‘s last words in the back of his head, telling him how much of a fuck up he was and that he would never find someone who would love him, but now? His chest filled with warmth.

 

“Thank you, Jiyong.“

 

“Never a problem.“

 

* * *

 

 

The next few weeks passed in such a blur, Seunghyun was almost surprised. There was so much going on — him getting to know all his new colleagues, getting used to working in such a big studio, the tight schedule, basically everything. He was really grateful for Jiyong during that time, because he was the one who picked up groceries after he was done at the studio and the one who even did his laundry from time to time when Seunghyun was tied up at work with new projects. After the first few weeks they even have some sort of a routine worked out — Seunghyun had to be at the studio by 8.30 am, which meant he usually left for work around 8 am. Jiyong on the other hand opened his shop at 11 am, which meant he had to leave around 10.40 am since the shop was basically around the corner and he usually prepared everything for the next day the day before.

 

Normally, Seunghyun would be the one at home around 5pm, but since they are working on a new project and Seunghyun still has to figure out the company‘s intern program (which is a huge bitch by the way) he has to stay longer until everything is done (but he isn‘t complaining since the studio pays extraordinarily well when it comes to long hours and his boss seems to like him so that is a plus, too). Which means he usually gets home around 7 or 8 am — dead tired and ready for bed and the last thing on his mind is doing the laundry or going grocery shopping. If it weren‘t for Jiyong he‘d be living off pizza and shushing right now.

 

Speaking of Jiyong — depending on how many clients he has each day and how complicated the tattoos are he stays longer at the studio or not. Some days he will be home around 5 pm already, finishing up some of the sketches for another appointment, and someday he will drag himself through the door at 9.30 pm and just collapse on the couch. But more often than not he can close up the shop at the right time (meaning 6 am) and would be home by 7 am. On most days he drags himself to the supermarket before work, because he‘d be too tired or lazy afterwards anyways.

 

In their routine, Seunghyun was the one who prepared breakfast for the both of them, since he was the one that got up earlier. (He most of the time even prepares lunch for the both of them, too — why should he only make lunch for himself if Jiyong needs to eat, too and he has already prepared enough for two people?)

 

Their routine worked well — the only times their schedules sometimes clashed are dinner. Seunghyun was not always in the mood to make dinner if he had to stay at the studio for long hours, but Jiyong doesn't mind at all. On those days he simply picked something up on the way home from one of their favourite restaurants and everything was settled.

 

It‘s been roughly over a month now that they live together and Seunghyun can really say he is lucky to have a roommate like Jiyong — he has already heard horror stories about how terrible some people are to live with, but Jiyong is relatively easy. He does have a few rules you need to accept, but nothing too extraordinary Seunghyun wouldn’t be able to get used to. (No eating over the sink or the couch (without a plate), taking the trash out in the morning when he leaves, hanging up the wet towels after using the shower (what kind of monster would even do that! Definitely not him, nope) and, most importantly, not mess up his almost OCD-like ecosystem he calls his own room and/or his side of the walk-in closet — Seunghyun certainly can live by those rules).

 

During that month they both haven’t gone out much, let alone met up with friends — most of the time they are too tired to think about going out and in the rare cases they still have some energy left they end up in front of the TV, absolutely killing it together when playing Metal Gear Solid 3, Silent Hill 2, GTA: San Andreas or literally any other game on the PS2. Being the same age and growing up with the same games definitely has its perks. But this weekend, they finally go out and meet up with their friends after what seemed like a lifetime ago. By now he and Jiyong are basically attached at the hip — something Youngbae and Daesung both like to point out whenever one of them gets up to get drinks and the other one follows suit, offering to help carrying the drinks. Seunghyun doesn‘t pay any attention to them — he and Jiyong get along well, what‘s the problem with that? Nothing — they probably are just jealous because he spends more time with Jiyong than with Daesung, and Jiyong more time with him than with Youngbae. Maybe they should simply hang out together — Seunghyun did want to cook for them so there was no harm in that, they could also invite Chaerin and her younger siblings Ri and Harin, and maybe Dara and Bom, too. It would be fun for sure.

 

Jiyong and he just come back with a new round of drinks for the four of them and settle down in their booth when he can feel Jiyong tense up next to him. Youngbae and Daesung don‘t seem to realize that — they are too deep into debating _whatever_ right now — but Seunghyun does. “Hey, are you okay?“, he carefully put a hand on Jiyong‘s shoulder to shake him out of his trance. His eyes snapped back to him and he could see uneasiness written all over his face and when Jiyong scooted closer to him and linked his arm with his he knew something was going on.

 

“It‘s just — my ex is here.“

 

“Your ex? Where?“ — for some reason they have never really talked about Jiyong‘s shitty ex, too busy with their own lives to cry about past lovers and from he gathered from Jiyong being kicked out he can only guess how much of a straight up bitch his ex must be. His eyes quickly scan the room, but he can‘t see any girl glaring at them.

 

“Right next to the bar — left side.“

 

Seunghyun‘s eyes shift to the other side of the room, but the only person he can see standing there is a guy. He is not looking at them right now, but Seunghyun can see his profile clearly. “Where? I only see that wannabe thug asshole over there.“

 

Jiyong lets out a snort, burying his face against his shoulder. “Yeah, that‘s him.“

 

Something inside of him finally fell in place. Jiyong‘s ex was a guy not a girl.

 

Then something else fell in place.

 

“Wait, you‘re gay?“

 

Instead of answering, Jiyong started to giggle, but stopped once he saw the look of utter confusion on Seunghyun‘s face. “Wait, are you serious? How did you not know that?“

 

Maybe because Seunghyun can be really, awfully, painfully slow when it came to things like that? But he couldn’t say that right now, could he? Instead he just stared at Jiyong dumbfounded not knowing what to say, but then his brain did that thing were it stopped working and he just word-vomited whatever came to his mind.

 

“Wait, wait, wait — stop, stop, stop; you are gay?“, it was more of a theoretical question than anything else, “So, back then when we were pretending to be a couple,“ — he can suddenly see Jiyong tense up, shit was he saying the wrong thing? He stumbles over his words a bit, trying not to make a complete ass out of himself, “-when we, you know, I mean was that okay for you? Like, I didn‘t make you uncomfortable with me pretending to be your boyfriend, did I? Because I don‘t know you actually like guys and maybe I don‘t know I did something you didn‘t like? Does that make sense?“ Once he started to speak it was like he couldn’t stop anymore but once he did he really wished he wouldn’t have said a word. He can feel the way everyone at the table is staring at him and he just wanted to crawl under a table and pretend to be dead because oh god did he really just say all of that? He was about to open his mouth and apologize a thousand times, but then Jiyong bursted out into another fit of giggles and he felt the awkward tension bleed away and then he saw that Youngbae and Daesung are also cackling at him.

 

“You really are kinda slow with things like that, aren‘t you?“

 

“Uh, yeah. Sadly.“

 

Jiyong wiped away a stray tear that treated to fall from his lashes duo to excessive laughing. “To answer your question no — you did not make me uncomfortable. If anything I should be the one asking you if I made you uncomfortable, I mean you clearly didn’t know I was gay and I am not James Charles to jump straight men like that.“

 

“No — no you didn‘t make me feel uncomfortable, Jiyong. We are friends and I trust you and it really doesn't matter to me if you like guys or girls.“

 

There was a warm smile on Jiyong‘s lips and Seunghyun feels his chest tighten at that — he really liked making Jiyong smile. But then that smile slipped away and Jiyong suddenly looked nervous.

 

“Hey, uhm, about you pretending to be my boyfriend — do you think we could do that once more?“, he fidgeted with his shirt under the table, “It‘s just that — my ex is a real asshole and if he sees me here he will probably try to hit on me again or make a scene or whatever so I‘d feel more comfortable with, you know, being here with my _boyfriend_.“

 

Jiyong looked so lost in that moment, Seunghyun had no other choice. “Yes, of course.“, without missing a heartbeat Jiyong started to smile brightly again and cuddled up against his chest, draping Seunghyun's arm around his shoulder and taking a hold of his hand. It was not much different to how they sometimes ended up in front of the TV when binging shows, so Seunghyun really didn't mind at all — if he could help a friend like that, he would gladly do it. He tried not to look in the direction of the ex, but he felt really angry right now. Why would someone hurt Jiyong like tats and even kick him out? His friend was such a sweet and caring person, he wouldn’t even be able to hurt a fly so why the hell would someone so that to him?

 

“Yo, Seunghyun. Just because you play his boyfriend now, doesn’t mean you have to glare down his ex-boyfriend.“, the joking voice of Youngbae pulled him out of his head and he snapped back to the conversation on the table. Youngbae was grinning at him and Daesung was also smirking at him — did he miss something? He looked down at Jiyong, trying to figure out what was going on, but the younger one just buries his head in his neck, not even looking at him. Whatever. They can joke all they want he is not going to let that asshole ruin their night or even so much as come close to Jiyong.

 

They fell back into small talk and the typically socially accepted ‘deep talks‘ you have while tipsy or drunk rather quickly and it‘s good. He feels the light buzz of the alcohol in his stomach — almost feels like butterflies that get worse whenever he takes another sip of his drink or whenever Jiyong chuckles against his neck, he doesn't know nor care. It‘s nice to sit with all of them like that — Youngbae making terrible jokes (that are actually low-key funny, but he would never admit that out loud), Daesung being the entertainer of the night, and Jiyong laughing at everything, pushing himself closer against Seunghyun. He liked that, too.

 

After a while Jiyong excused himself — all the alcohol finally reached his bladder apparently and he really needed to pee so Seunghyun lets him go; but not without sending one last look after him, making sure that Mr. Douche wasn’t anywhere close.

 

He tried to concentrate on the conversation going on in front of him, but his mind kept on going back to Jiyong — waiting for him to come back; how long has he been gone? Wasn‘t that too long already? What if the asshole ex found him and he is in trouble now? Seunghyun suddenly started to feel uneasy and put down his drink. “Excuse me, gotta go to the restroom real quick.“

 

He didn’t even wait for that the others have to say, he simply got up from his seat and made a beeline to the restrooms and quickly realized that the bad feeling in his stomach was right — right in front of him are Jiyong and his ex; Jiyong trying to get away from him as fast as possible, obviously uncomfortable, while his ex nearly pinned him against the wall — talking to him with a raised voice. He didn’t think twice, before he marched up to Jiyong, pushed that asshole out of the way and put himself between the ex and Jiyong. His hand immediately reached of Jiyong‘s face, carefully caressing his cheek, trying to figure out if he was okay. “Jiyong, are you okay? Do you want to go now?“

 

But Jiyong couldn't even answer before that asshole took a hold of Seunghyun‘s shoulder and yanked him around — “Oi, what the fuck you think you‘re doing? Who are you? His new sex toy?“

 

Seunghyun tried to stay calm, but the muscles in his jaw are dancing and he‘d love to punch that guy. “Why do you care?“ — it's so hard not to snap, but he somehow managed.

 

“Oh, I see — you really are his new fuck toy. Huh, can‘t say I am surprised, but what really surprises me is that he can land with someone like you. Why would someone as good looking as you like someone like him?“ Seunghyun felt his blood boil, “I know, probably because he is so excellent at sucking cock, isn‘t it? That greedy little cockslut sure always knew how to take a dick. Fucking drama queen, but he was a good fuck—“

 

Seunghyun could only take as much and this guy certainly tipped too close to the line — fuck that, he crossed it and even spit in Seunghyun‘s face. As soon as Seunghyun felt Jiyong completely tense up behind him, he was done — no one talked to or about Jiyong like that. Without thinking twice — he punched that guy square in the face. The guy staggered backwards and crumpled to the ground, groaning loudly as he held his bleeding nose; he tried to get up but was too drunk to do anything about it.

 

Fucking asshole. Seunghyun turned around and simply grabbed Jiyong, who was shaking like a leave, and guided him out of the bar, to the backdoor and into the alley. There was just enough light for him to see not to run into a wall or anything, but his eyes adjusted quickly and as soon as the door fell shut behind them, he realized that Jiyong was crying.

 

“Hey, hey — why are you crying. It‘s okay — that asshole won‘t bother you anymore.“

 

“It‘s not about that fucker—,“ his voice was small and fragile and he wouldn’t look at Seunghyun. “Then why are you crying, Jiyong?“

 

“Because I am embarrassed! Didn‘t you hear what that asshole said? That I am a fucking cockslut that can’t get enough and apparently only knows how to fuck.“ , he sounded so bitter and hurt that Seunghyun just wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and take him home. Did Jiyong really believe what that asshole just said to him? Did he really think that low of himself? It hurt to only think about the possibility of Jiyong thinking that about himself.

 

“And he does have a point, because all people are ever interested in is sex — they only really care about that so obviously I try to please them, do whatever they want so they are happy and won‘t leave me because I am so scared of being alone so in the end I just take whoever is thrown at me by the universe.“ — but he didn’t have a blanket to wrap him in so his arms would have to do for now. He pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go even when Jiyong tried to get away at first, but quickly gave up once he realized that there was no need to get away. Slowly, Jiyong stopped crying and he was no longer shaking — instead he curled his arms up against his own body and buried his face in Seunghyun‘s chest.

 

“I couldn’t care less what that asshole says or thinks about you, Jiyong. You are my friend and one of the sweetest people I have ever met — you are caring and have a heart of gold.“ he felt Jiyong visibly relax at his words, “I don‘t know much about your sex life, that is true, but even if you like sex, it doesn’t cheapen your personality, okay? Just because that asshole only saw that in you doesn't mean you aren’t so much more than that — don’t listen to him, please? And if guys really only see a fuck buddy or whatever in you then they must be blind. You are insanely talented, you love your job and are passionate about it, you care deeply about your friends and you are kind of a cry baby, especially when it comes to romantic period dramas.“, he earned a weak slap against his chest for that, but Jiyong finally seemed to calm down.

 

“—and there is nothing wrong that. It only shows how much of a sap you are and that you deserve someone who can give you what you really need.“

 

Seunghyun heard how Jiyong took one last deep, shaky breath before he finally looked up at him with big, glassy eyes. They were still filled with tears, but Seunghyun could also see another emotion he couldn’t quite pin down in them.

 

“You really are one of a kind, aren’t you?“

 

Seunghyun chuckled at that. “I‘m nothing special really — I‘m just trying to be a decent human being.“

 

“Sadly, that’s really rare today. Most guys I have met are straight up assholes.“, there was now a sad smile on Jiyong‘s lips and Seunghyun just wanted to make it a happy one again.

 

“Well, if that is the case then I am going to simply screen all your potential boyfriends, to make sure they are decent human beings — how does that sound?“ Happiness was spreading through his body — he just wanted to see his friend smile again and now he was again. Cheeks round and happy as he giggled against his chest.

 

“It sounds as if I will be painfully single for a very long time, then.“

 

“Well,“ Seunghyun was grinning now, too, “Then how about I will be your platonic boyfriend from now on, you know? Until you find a real one that is.“

 

Another giggle. “You don‘t have to do that.“

 

“I am naturally loving and I don‘t have a girlfriend right now so why not? Besides, by now I know how much you enjoy attention so it would be a win/win for the both of us.“

 

“You really are from outta space, aren‘t you?“

 

Seunghyun grinned once more. “Does that mean I will be your fake boyfriend now?“

 

“Yeah, that‘s it. But just so you know — I‘m a high maintenance boyfriend, _baby._ “

 

“I think I can deal with that, _princess_.“

 

Jiyong stopped fidgeting for a moment and simply stared at Seunghyun with an unbelieving grin and amused look on his face. “ _Princess,_ really?“

 

“Well, uh —“ he didn’t think that one through before blurting it out like that “It‘s just that you smell like peaches? I don‘t know, maybe it‘s the shampoo or whatever you use, but it‘s nice and then I had to think of Princess Peach because you sometimes really act like a little princes, so peach it was.“

 

Jiyong snorted. “Alright, I like it.“

 

“You do?“

 

He looked up at him. “Yes, I do.“

 

“Good.“

 

“Good.“

 

“Perfect.“

 

More chuckling.

 

“So uhm, how about we go back inside?“ Jiyong pointed with his thumb over his shoulder, back to where they had come from, “While I am not much in the mood to continue drinking, we shouldn’t leave Youngbae and Daesung unattended for too long, don‘t you think?“

 

He smiled at that. Jiyong was right — while these two were most of the time acting like faithful church boys, they could really get out of control when drunk. It was equally terrifying as it was absolutely hilarious. “Alright then let‘s go inside, finish our drinks and then we can go home — how does that sound? We can even watch that terrible drama again you love so much — the one with the queen?“

 

Jiyong only rolled his eyes at him, but Seunghyun could clearly see the smile on his lips as he turned around.

 

Maybe tonight wasn’t such a catastrophe as he thought it had been.

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, they really did not stay much longer — Youngbae was half a beer away from passing out under the table anyways and Daesung had had one too many tequila shots, which meant that he turned into this huge flirt (which more often than not ended with him flirting with himself in the mirror, but oh well), which was why they called Hyorin for Youngbae and made sure to put Daesung in a cab. Thankfully, Jiyong‘s douche ex was nowhere to be seen and Jiyong‘s mood skyrocketed once they stepped out of the pub and were on their way home — they even picked up something to eat, because there was nothing better than greasy food after a long night out (even if it wasn‘t that late yet, but after the turbulences they had overcome tonight it was only fair to collapse on the couch and shove burgers and burritos into their mouths while listening to Jiyong‘s best of 90s/00s playlist and then smoking a few cigarettes to fully enjoy their full stomachs).

 

Smoke curled up high from Seunghyun‘s cigarette as he continued to look at Jiyong, who was visibly engrossed in whatever drama they were watching right now. Normally, Seunghyun would try to pay attention and eventually low-key love the drama, but tonight his mind just wouldn’t shut up. How could someone like Jiyong not have a boyfriend that was sweet and caring? Was dating really that hard in the queer scene? Then again, he was straight and fucking single, too so maybe people simple weren’t worth shit these days. Whatever — they had each other for now and that had to be enough for now. Besides, he really liked how Jiyong cuddled up against his chest anyways so it wasn’t like it was bad or anything. Jiyong really seemed to like to cuddle and having his warm body pressed against his felt nice — the first time he hugged him he had thought about how weird it must feel like to have a guy close like that, but he quickly realized that it wasn’t weird at all. It was different, but a nice different — as long as it was Jiyong who hugged him like that, he still felt a bit reserved whenever Youngbae and Daesung dived in for a group hug, but that was mostly to them nearly squishing him to death whenever they hugged him. Why did they had to have so many muscles anyways?

 

But back to the topic — hugging Jiyong was okay. He was more on the slim side anyways and even though he had broad shoulders he wasn‘t anywhere near as muscular as Youngbae and Daesung were and he was grateful for that. It suited the younger man and made him perfectly huggable whenever he needed a hug.

 

* * *

 

 

Time passed again and life was comfortable between them — they even continued to call each other princess and baby. It was all teasingly, obviously, and it was fun. Seunghyun also got along with his co-workers very well — two of them were Korean as well (Kyungil and Dongwook; who he called Wookie most of the time by now), and the other two were Jonas and Mark (both weirdos, but he really appreciated that about them, plus it was always fun to watch whenever their wives would come over during lunch break or something and chide them for something they did — they were both huge babies in a man‘s body, plus their wives were really nice as well and sometimes even picked up donuts for all of them on their way and got them coffee).

 

Seunghyun and Dongwook were most of the time working together on making sure that every motion fit the scene and, well, designing the whole scenery in the first place and all that, while Kyungil was the one responsible for the character designs. The poor bastard had to re-do one character three times, because the first time the program glitched and the eyes bulged out and the legs were suddenly astronomically long, the second time there was a problem with his computer and it short circuited and that was the first time he saw one of his colleagues curl up under a table to cry. (He really hoped that would never happen again, but then Jonas simply told him, in a very dry tone, that that happened usually like once or twice a month and that it was odd that Seunghyun hadn’t witnessed it sooner) — (still, he really hoped that that would never happen to him).

 

During their time working on their new project he and Dongwook became close friends — they more often than not went out to grab lunch together and Seunghyun was slowly coming out of his shell. Jiyong encouraged him over and over again to be more confident about himself and it finally seemed to pay off — he goofed around at work and the other guys loved it, they said it was a welcomed  addition to their team, since they really could use a laugh once in a while and whenever Dongwook and he started to entertain their colleagues, it often ended with everyone in tears from laughing so hard.

 

One time, Mark had to laugh so hard that he slapped his keyboard with his hand a few times — which then caused his computer to freeze up and the program crashed for the day. It wasn’t as funny in hindsight, because Mark had to stay at work until late (and it was the very first time he saw Mark of all People Have a nervous breakdown like that) for two weeks, but then again it was kinda funny, because he had continuously bragged about how he was already down with his part of the project (and it partly was his fault too for not saving everything twice; which he now did, so maybe Mark should thank Seunghyun in a way).

 

For some reason though, Jiyong didn’t seem to like to listen to all those stories about him and his colleagues having a good time — especially whenever he mentioned Dongwook or sometimes even Kyungil. Today was one of those days again, where he wanted to tell Jiyong a little bit about his own day after Jiyong had complained about that one absolutely shitbag of a client that actually wanted him to tattoo a swastika on his chest. He could really understand his frustration — shit like that just wasn’t cool, period. So he listened closely to Jiyong venting out his frustration about that guy and how he even had the nerve to threaten his colleague SooJoo and curse at his sister Dami. Thankfully the situation had calmed down rather quickly after Jiyong threatened to call the police and the asswipe quickly left the shop, but it was still _frustrating_ to have to deal with people like that to say the least.  

 

When it was his turn to talk about his day, he wasn’t sure if he should talk about the incident he had with Dongwook, but he ignored the uneasy feeling in his stomach and simply told Jiyong. He wasn’t even sure why he suddenly felt a bit uneasy, maybe he was still stressed out from work?

 

“So, what was your day like? I hope a lot better than mine.“ — they were sitting at the dinner table, enjoying the food Seunghyun had prepared for them with a glass of wine. This time the two of them had even gone grocery shopping together, which was more fun than anticipated, though it took them ten times longer, because Seunghyun would continuously make a fool of himself, while Jiyong laughed at everything he said or did. It was nice that Jiyong always appreciated his terrible humour, because even if his colleagues thought he was funny, there were times when they didn‘t think he was funny at all and he would be glared at. During those times, he always started to complain rather loudly that Jiyong would have totally appreciated the joke he just did, which most of the time earned him an eye roll from Mark and waggling eyebrows from Kyungil and Dongwook — whatever that meant, he wasn’t sure and by this point he was too afraid to ask them.  

 

“Uh, well — yes and no?“, he chuckled nervously, “It‘s just, Dongwook had kind of a shit day today — you know those days were you just get up in the morning and everything sucks? He had one of those days today. First, he overslept which was why our boss nearly ripped him a new one, because he missed a deadline. Then, he accidentally sent out files to the wrong company which caused a huge mess and then when we wanted to go grab some lunch he tripped and I had to half carry him, because he twisted his ankle.“

 

Jiyong had stopped eating now and was merely poking his food with chopsticks — wasn’t he hungry anymore? “Anyways, the good thing was that we got extra ice cream because Wookie just wouldn’t stop complaining about his hurting ankle and one of the girls working at the place we always eat at felt sorry for him and gave us both extra ice cream, plus she said something about us being cute together I don’t know.“ — he had to laugh at that, some people really gave the weirdest compliments, but if that meant he would get free ice cream then he was game — no one in their right mind would say no to extra ice cream, Jiyong surely had to understand that.

 

But then he heard the clattering of metal chopsticks and he finally looked directly at Jiyong again, who was glaring at him for some reason? Did he say something bad?

 

“Jiyong? Everything okay?“

 

Instead of answering his glare deepened.

 

“Random question, but is Dongwook gay?

 

Huh? Where did that came from?

 

“Uhm, no I don't think so? I think he is bi actually, we talked about dating and all that a while ago and he told me he dated girls and one guy before so I guess he is bi? The rest of the guys are straight as far as I know even if Kyungil sometimes is a bit clingy, but then I just shove him towards Dongwook and everything is good.”, he had to snort when he thought about that. Kyungil _was_ kinda clingy, that was true and he didn't really like it much, but whenever he got too much to handle he simply pushed him towards Dongwook and told him to bother someone else. All of his colleagues had by now understood that he wasn't big on getting touched like that so Kyungil often did it just to mess with him a bit but laughed whenever he got pushed away and bothered Dongwook so everything was fine.

 

Or was it not? Because Jiyong was still looking at him with a strange look on his face and he couldn't quite understand why he was giving him that look.

 

“Well, it just sounds like he has a crush on you but maybe it's Kyungil who is crushing on you.” his voice suddenly sound bitter in Seunghyun's ears. Was he jealous that guys hit on him and not on Jiyong who was actively looking for a boyfriend? Seunghyun wanted to say something, but before he could Jiyong got up with a huff and stormed off into the kitchen.

 

He quickly followed his friend, not wanting to have an argument like that hanging between them.

 

“Hey, Ji —” his voice was low and careful, ”don't be sad I'm sure you will find someone soon. Someone who will hit on you and make you laugh okay?”

 

But Jiyong still wasn't looking at him and let out an annoyed sigh — okay different approach. He walked up to him and hugged him from behind, not letting him get away. “Come on, don't be like that. For one Dongwook might be bi and maybe Kyungil, too, but Dongwook is head over heels for the boss’ secretary but he is too shy and awkward to ask her out and Kyungil has a fiancé and they will get married next year if he plays his cards right and I'm sure you will find someone too.”

 

He felt Jiyong relax a bit, but there was still tension in his body and the mood was still tight so he hugged him tighter and buried his head in the crook of Jiyong's neck. “Plus, you have me. I'm your fake boyfriend for the meantime and I won't leave you hanging okay? You are my princess after all.”

 

Seunghyun more felt than heard Jiyong let out a long sign, before he turned around in his embrace and returned the hug. His arms curled around his shoulders and he felt him press the tip of his nose against his neck — and he felt himself relax as well. He didn't want to argue with his friend, but cheer him up after having such a shitty day at work and if that meant cuddling in the kitchen then he'd gladly volunteered.

 

After a few more minutes of silence, Jiyong finally pulled away.

 

“You're an idiot you know that?“

 

But no, Seunghyun did not know. What had he done now?

 

“Huh? I am? I mean I guess I can be kinda stupid, but what did I miss now?“

 

Jiyong simply looked at him with the same unreadable expression he sometimes had on his face, and eventually smiled at him again softly before shaking his head and pressing a light kiss on his left cheek.

 

“Nothing, forget I said anything. Thank you for cooking dinner tonight, it was delicious and you really are the best fake boyfriend I ever had.”

 

That made him smile, too.

 

“My princess only deserves the best.”

 

Jiyong grinned at that. “I sure as hell do.“

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, what else do we need?“

 

“Fruits and vegetables — zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes, apples and also grab some bananas.“

 

Seunghyun had to bite back a grin when he saw Jiyong pulling a face — for someone as lean and skinny as him he sure did very little work out and ate even less healthy food. If it wasn’t for Seunghyun, Jiyong would probably live off pizza, kebab and whatever else that was greasy and unhealthy.

 

“Do we have to? Why don‘t we just get some lasagne or something.“

 

“Because you literally never eat anything remotely healthy — thank your fast metabolism that you aren’t rolling down the street already. Now that we live together I have made it my duty to help you get used to a healthier lifestyle, which included lots of fresh food and you always love what I cook so stop complaining and go grab the vegetables, I‘ll get some fruit — oh and don‘t forget the lettuce and some broccoli!“

 

This time he had to chuckle as he heard Jiyong groan loudly, before dragging himself off to the vegetables. Seunghyun really did not understand how Jiyong survived up until now or didn’t had an heart attack — how could an adult person have such a deep running hate towards everything remotely healthy? It was almost hilarious — but what was even more hilarious was making Jiyong watch him prepare all the healthy food. He would continuously complain about everything — but as soon as the food was done, he sat down at the dining table like a good boy and wolves down the prepared dish so there was no way Jiyong really hated healthy food; or at least not the ones that Seunghyun prepared.

 

Seunghyun silently pushed the card in front of him while he picked up all the other ingredients on his list — while Jiyong most of the time picked up groceries during weekdays, every now and then they went together. There was something oddly domesticated about going grocery shopping with his roommate and even though Seunghyun normally was the one who disliked doing it (too many people and carrying everything home was a pain in the ass) he really liked to do it with Jiyong.

 

He snapped out of his thoughts as Jiyong dumped all the ingredients into the cart with a huff an a pout on his lips. “Do we have to get only healthy stuff?”

 

Seunghyun inwardly rolled his eyes — this was typical Jiyong behaviour. Whining like a kid and making puppy eyes at him whenever there was something he didn't want, or in even more cases, _did_ want. It was frustratingly endearing and Seunghyun gave in most of the time (more like, always). By now he also has gotten pretty good at knowing what exactly it was that Jiyong wanted from him and right now there was one thing he wanted for sure — choco pies.

 

These damn things were so extremely easy to make yourself, but Jiyong still insisted on buying the ones from the supermarket, simply because all he had to do with those was dump the powder like substance into a cup, add a little bit of milk, stir it up and put it in the microwave, which was something even he wouldn't be able to fuck up (Jiyong’s words, not Seunghyun’s). Seunghyun was still one hundred percent sure that the younger one would not be completely shit at cooking, if he only so much as paid a little attention to whenever Seunghyun cooked — but the younger one most of the time had his sketchbook with him, doodling a new design for yet another client or simply watched Seunghyun move around the kitchen, but apparently simply watching Seunghyun was not enough —  or at least that was what Jiyong told him all the time. Seunghyun had the feeling that Jiyong simply liked it when he cooked for him so he eventually gave up on trying to teach him how to properly cook and simply cooked for him. It was not like he minded, it was actually kinda adorable and also fun. Jiyong always had the biggest and warmest smile on his lips whenever Seunghyun would prepare food for them —  one time he even made intestines for Jiyong (he hated that stuff with passion) and Jiyong had hugged him so tight he felt a rib nearly crack. It was cute to see how grateful the younger man was when it came to small stuff like that.

 

“Alright, fine. Go get your damn choco pies.” — Jiyong grinned at him like a happy kid, stepped next to him and placed a small kiss on his cheek, whispering a small ‘thank you’ before skipping off to his beloved choco pies. It was ridiculous to think that this man was proud owner of his own shop, understood taxes better than Seunghyun and generally had more of what Seunghyun liked to call ‘adult commonplace’ than him sometimes. He shook his head and absently touched the area Jiyong had kissed — his lips were still as soft as back then.

 

Jiyong came back with three packages of those damn things and dumped them into the cart.

 

“We done?“

 

“Yes, we done.“

 

After paying and packing up the groceries Seunghyun didn't think twice and grabbed the bags; he was dead tired and just wanted to go home and eat one of those damn choco pies. Jiyong had prepared them so often by now that they had turned into his own kind of comfort food even if he would never admit it out loud — the shit eating grin he always got when Jiyong caught him preparing one was bad enough, though by now it has more turned into a warm smile than a grin, which wasn't that bad actually. Especially since most of the time he prepared a second one for Jiyong and they would sit down on the balcony and simply enjoy a moment of silence and choco lies, followed by cigarettes and a glass of wine. It has also become a small thing between them that whenever one of them felt stressed or tired or just needed a moment to sit down with the other one to recharge their batteries — they would simply make a pie for them to share and grab their cigarettes and dragging the other one out to the balcony. It was nice and Seunghyun enjoyed this little ritual they had created for them.

 

“Uhm, Seunghyun?“

 

“Hm?“, he absently turned towards Jiyong.

 

“You do know I can carry some of the bags, too right?“

 

His eyes drifted down to him holding all the groceries they just bought and back to Jiyong — Jiyong who had had three huge projects to work on, which left him drawing nonstop these days. He hadn't openly complained about his wrists hurting, but he had seen the younger one wrapping them carefully after applying some sort of ointment that smelled like lavender and mint. Just because he wasn't complaining didn't mean he wasn't hurting — besides he really didn't mind to carry bags for Jiyong.

 

“Just shut up and carry the toilet paper.”

 

Jiyong smiled at that again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I have a question.”

 

Jiyong looked up from the chess board, a sceptical look on his face. “Yes?“

 

But only now that he opened his mouth Seunghyun was not so sure anymore why he wanted to ask that question in the first place or why the hell it was even relevant, but the thought just popped up in his mind like that and would not leave him alone. Probably all the wine they always drank when playing chess — maybe it was also all the cigarette smoke fogging up his mind. His mouth suddenly felt dry and he quickly reached for his own wine glass, taking a sip to get some moisture back into his mouth. This was probably a bad idea, but then again he and Jiyong had become such close friends in such a short period of time so maybe he was really just overthinking this whole thing.

 

“Uhm, it's maybe a bit weird, but uh, do gay guys or queer guys in general make a big deal out of dick sizes, too? Or is it just something some women are concerned about?”

 

Okay, that question was definitely stupid — he realized that as soon as Jiyong nearly choked on his wine, mid-sip and then stared at him with disbelief in his eyes.

 

“You really are something else, way to go to decide on a small talk topic. Are you trying to distract me so I don't win this round, because your queen over there ain't looking that good.”

 

“Why, is it working?”

 

Jiyong cracked a grin. “A bit, yes.”

 

A moment of silence.

 

“Do you really wanna know?“

 

He shrugged. “If you don't mind talking about it then yeah.”

 

Another grin. “I'm a gay man, obviously I like talking about dicks.” Jiyong put the wine glass down.

 

“Okay, dicks and gay guys is kind of a problem — or like a huge thing for some reason. You know how guys often want validation that their cock is big? It's kind of an ego thing for most men and if you think it's bad with straight guys, queer guys are even worse sometimes, because since they are dating men it's apparently even more important to them since a lot of men compare themselves to their partners. I swear I had guys that bragged about how big their cocks are and then their cock wasn't even average size, which isn't really a huge problem for me — as long as the dick isn't too small that it slips out when I bottom and it hits my prostate I'm game. Most of the time dudes with smaller or average sized cocks are better in bed than guys with big dicks anyways. The problem with those men is that they think ‘oh my dick is big it will be enough alone to get my partner off’, but all they do is jack-hammer away and it doesn't feel good. You can‘t just stick your dick into someone and that‘s it — you have to figure out what they like, the rhythm, the angle — everything. It‘s frustrating how bad people can sometimes be and most of the time I have to do all the work just because they are too stupid to work with their dick properly. If they are too big by the way, it doesn't feel good either, but hurts and not in a ‘I'm a masochist and I like pain’, but in a ‘I seriously won't be able to sit for a week and won't be able to use the restroom even longer’ kind of pain and that isn't fun at all and sadly that can happen pretty fast because many guys are too impatient to prep their partner properly and don’t get me started on blowjobs! Like, it‘s obviously easier to suck smaller cocks, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t love to suck bigger dicks, but really big dicks? Have fun choking on it and not even getting half of it down. So anyways, long story short — it's probably how it is with straight couples and women. Some care a lot about the dick size some don't. I could have probably said that in the beginning — God you must think I'm a dick maniac or something.“

 

Uh — that was a lot to take in.

 

“Uhm, not really. I mean straight guys kinda talk like that about boobs or asses or pussy— so why shouldn’t you talk about dicks? Especially if it’s such a mess, but I am a bit confused?“

 

“Confused?“

 

Seunghyun gulped, suddenly a bit shy. “Yeah, is it okay if I ask questions?“

 

“You can ask whatever you want, Seunghyun.“, a small smile graced his lips. “So, what do you want to know?“

 

“You said something with you _bottoming_? What‘s that?“

 

The small smile suddenly spread into a grin and Jiyong snorted. “Basically it is who _gives_ and who _receives_ , you know? The person who does the fucking is called ‘top‘ and the person who gets fucked is the ‘bottom‘ — some guys are tops, some are bottoms and some are ‘versatile‘ or short, ‘vers‘ — that means they like both.“

 

Seunghyun suddenly felt hot around the collar and he nervously looked down at the chess board, twirling one of the figures. Did that mean Jiyong was a bottom? Was that rude to ask? Was it okay to ask? Jiyong _did_ say he could ask whatever he wanted to ask — but did that also include this?

 

“I‘m vers, by the way.“ His eyes snapped up to his roommate, who just laughed at him again. “You looked like you wanted to know so I spare you the awkwardness of gathering all your courage to ask me about it.“ — Jiyong downed the last of his wine before he reached out for the wine bottle to his left and poured him another glass. “Any more questions?“ — he put the wine bottle down again and lightened a cigarette, before taking another sip of the glass.

 

Seunghyun still felt a bit hot under the collar and decided to do the same as Jiyong while pretending to think about a question — pouring a new glass and lightening another cigarette.

 

Smoke filled his mouth and he felt the familiar burn in his lungs beforehand exhaled the smoke. “How did you know you were vers? I mean — there probably are a ton of terrible stereotypes about this, but I never try to think of those and up until now I didn‘t even really think about what you would like, not that it is any of my concern.“

 

“Which is good, because most of these stereotypes are bullshit — though I have to say that there sometimes is some truth to it. Sometimes you see a guy and you can just tell he is a top or a bottom. Some are really obvious about it like — so many guys who are tops have this god like complex that just because someone bottoms they will immediately fall to their knees for them, which is just — no pun intended — a pain in the ass to say the least. About how I figured it out? Well..“, Jiyong trailed off for a moment simply smirking at Seunghyun while letting his tongue run over his upper lip, “Sometimes you just want to fuck someone really bad and sometimes you just want them to fuck you.“

 

Maybe it was because they talked about sex, but the way Jiyong grinned at him made him blush even more and he probably had too much wine, because his stomach did the weirdest things right now and he felt as if electricity was running through his body.

 

“—and what is that like?“

 

“What, getting fucked?“

 

Seunghyun nodded.

 

“Well, if it is done right it is very good.“

 

“But — how can it feel good?“

 

“You see there is this small wonderful thing called the prostate, which is basically the male g spot. It‘s about the size of a walnut and placed right under the bladder and if you push your finger inside it‘s about — one or two knuckles deep in, depending on how big your hands are obviously.“

 

“Huh..“ there was so much new information and Seunghyun really didn’t know what to do with it or why he was this interested in the first place. Maybe because Jiyong was the first openly gay man he ever talked to? He had never really thought much about gay sex before so maybe it was simple curiosity and Jiyong was the perfect person to talk to about this — well, he _could_ just google all of this but he was just the right amount of tipsy that he really didn’t care that much embarrassing himself right now.

 

“For me there is a difference in arousal or the way I feel like during sex, too. I don‘t know if it makes sense to you that way, but I hope I can put it in words. I‘m not really dominant in bed, but I do get a bit rough when I top — I like to please my partner and, you know, be good to them and when I am on top it‘s as if my brain stops working and it‘s more intense in one way. You probably know that feeling when you just _really_ want to be inside of someone and fuck them? That is how I feel when I top, but when I bottom nearly all of my dominance washes away and there is a different type of intensity. I tease a lot and make them horny to the point they can‘t take it anymore, but everything past that? Submissive. I like it when my partner manhandles me a bit and it is so different topping, but like I said, it is really good, too.“

 

By now Seunghyun was sure he was blushing worse than ever in his life and as a reflex he gulped down the rest of his nearly full glass. Jiyong looked at him and apparently he just registered what exactly he had said — mind seemingly clouded by the wine, too — and started to blush. “That, that was probably a bit, too much TMI.“, he hid his face in his hands. “God, I am sorry. Whenever I drink something I get even more open about everything.“

 

Seunghyun swallowed down his embarrassment. “It‘s okay, really. It was actually kinda interesting to hear all that? I mean, I grew up in a small town and no one even really talked about gays, besides the fact that they are the spawn of Satan apparently, which is a load of bullcrap by the way, so yeah this was very —- uh, informative?“

 

They were both blushing, still, but at least some of the awkwardness bled away when Jiyong bursted out into a fit of giggles.

 

Seunghyun exhaled, feeling more relaxed again. He was about to light up another cigarette when he nearly burned off his eyebrows thanks to Jiyong.

 

“Well, now that you know so much about my sex life it is only fair to talk about your sex life — what was the best sex you ever head?“

 

His blush was back in full force.

 

“Uh, what?“

 

“The best sex you had — what made it so good and what does an ideal woman look like to you?“

 

Definitely blushing and he needed more wine for this conversation.

 

“Oh, come on don’t get shy now — you already had to listen to me about dick and you were fine with it, tell me this is only fair!“

 

“Okay, okay! Uh, but it is not really something special? Like, I only had one girlfriend so far — we dated for a couple of months — so it was with her.“, he stumbled over his words. He really didn‘t know what to say — he didn‘t had much experience so he couldn’t really say when he had the best sex. The sex he had with Sarah was good, at least he thought it had been and his then girlfriend also had been satisfied, so which time stood out the most? There were times that were more intense than others, obviously, but the _best_?

 

“Uh, I don‘t know — maybe sex on my 18th birthday?“

 

“Maybe?“

 

“Yes?“

 

“Wow, that means you never had mind blowing sex.“

 

“I had!“

 

“Oh really?“

 

Damnit — Jiyong was really making him unsure of the quality his whole sex life (which wasn‘t much) right now. “Was she at least good at giving you blowjobs?“

 

This was getting worse — Seunghyun trained his eyes on the glass in his hand. “She never did that, actually.“

 

“She did _not_?“

 

“Well, she was uncomfortable with it and I would never push someone into something they do not want so I never really asked her or tried to convince her.“

 

“So that means no one ever blew you?“

 

If his blush was going to get any worse it might become permanent.

 

“No.“

 

“If you weren’t straight I‘d totally offer to suck you off right now, you know.“

 

Seunghyun choked on his own spit and looked at Jiyong with big eyes — was he serious or just drunk? His question got answered when the younger man laughed again and nearly spilled his wine. “Okay, okay — sorry. I can tell this makes you uncomfortable. Do you want to stop talking about sex or just go back to me waxing poetry about dick and rimming?“

 

His curiosity outweighed the embarrassment. “Wait, what is rimming?“

 

Instead of answering Jiyong grinned again and by god, if he continued to smirk and grin at him like that he would throw something in his pretty face. He watched as Jiyong stuck out his tongue and moved it in circling patterns, but he didn‘t understand — his roommate grinned again, and then he lifted his hand, made a small circle out of his thumb and index finger, put his tongue through and — _oh, that is rimming_.

 

“And you like that?“ — it was more out of shock than curiosity, really, and it just blurted out like that, but he was too flabbergasted and in a weird way also amazed to think about tact.

 

“Well; my best sex was three years ago with a guy that was older than me who was _very skilled_ with his oral techniques, especially when rimming. Never came that hard on someone else‘s tongue ever again — so yes I love it, actually.“

 

“Huh, never thought that _that_ would feel good, not that I even knew that it was but you know.“, he let out an embarrassed laugh. “So, it seems you are experienced when it comes to sex?“

 

“‘Experienced‘ is a cute way to put it — yes and no? I mean, I dated three guys so far, but never for long because they were all assholes and every now and then when I feel like it I have one night stands.“, he shrugged nonchalant, “I like sex, there is nothing bad about that, especially since I am always really strict about being save.“

 

“There isn‘t.“, in a way he was envious of Jiyong — tho it had been a while, Seunghyun really liked sex, but he never really felt comfortable with showing his body so these two components always clashed. It didn‘t help that in his home town it was hard to just have a one night stand without the whole town knowing about it the next day and since none of the girls had liked him anyways, he gave up on that for that time. Now that he was in New York that might change tho — at least he had big hopes when it came to finally finding a cute girl who he liked and who wanted to date him, but for now Jiyong was priority anyways so dating, and therefore sex, had to wait. Which reminded him;

 

“So you like older guys?“

 

Jiyong snorted. “You haven‘t told me about your type yet, why should I tell you what my type is.“

 

Fair point. “It‘s just — I don‘t really have a type? Because if I like a girl, I just like her.“

 

“So no stereotypical big boobs lover?“, Seunghyun shrugged.

 

“Well, uh, I guess you could say I am more of a butt man?“

 

“For real?“

 

“Yeah, why?“

 

Jiyong cracked another grin and raise his glass. “Seems like we have something in common — I really dig asses, too.“

 

Seunghyun laughed as he raised his glass to Jiyong‘s. “Well then, to our love for asses.“

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next two weeks passed in a blur —  one second they had been all sitting together, laughing, the next the whole team was hurled up at the studio, trying to finish their projects. Seunghyun felt a little bit like he did back in college; slacking off during the whole semester and then when exams approached he had always freaked out and ended up studying day and night, finishing all assignments the day before. It had not been the best strategy, but it had worked in a way —  he got his diploma and got an amazing job in the end.

 

But now that he worked for such an amazing studio, he had hoped that there was more professionalism, but the others were just as bad as he was.  

 

In the end, they somehow managed to finish everything on time (which bordered to a miracle). They even were done a few hours before the deadline —  which was why they all decided to go out and drink. Dongwook had finally managed to ask out the girl he has had a crush on for ages, Mark and Jonas dragged their wives along and Kyungil was sulking about the fact that Dongwook wasn’t paying enough attention to him, but his mood quickly improved when a rather cute looking redhead approached him and started to flirt with him.

 

The club they were staying at was crowded —  loud music was blasting from the speakers from the dancefloor, people were laughing and talking loudly and the beer in Seunghyun’s hand was cool and tasted good. Today was a nice day —  just that he was only surrounded by couples and that was a bit tiring, especially if you were a frustrated single that just didn’t seem to be able to find a girlfriend.

 

Seunghyun sighed, maybe Jiyong would want to come out, too? He had texted him before, telling him that he was going out a bit with his co-workers, but now that he was out with them he realized he would much rather spent some time with Jiyong. Not that he didn’t really like spending time with his co-workers, it just was that during the past two weeks Seunghyun had more or less been working non-stop and had rarely seen the younger one. They only saw each other when Seunghyun would drag himself home, shovel whatever Jiyong had ordered down, and then he would go to bed and sleep for a few hours before he had to drag himself to work again. His roommate had been nothing but sweet during that time —  put his clothes in the washing machine, dryer and even put them away again. He also prepared lunch for Seunghyun and sent him encouraging texts during the day when he wasn’t busy with a client. It was sweet, but spending time with Jiyong was just that much better —  even if they just curled up on the couch and watched Disney movies or something; but no here he was, sitting in a booth in some club with his drunk co-workers.

 

Seunghyun quickly took out his phone and asked Jiyong if he would like to come out too —  the answer nearly came immediately and Seunghyun smiled.

 

Not even twenty minutes later and Jiyong strutted into the club —  he was wearing one of his light blue pair of ripped jeans and a tight tank-top. There were a few necklaces around his neck and some rings on his fingers and Seunghyun could see the dark makeup around his eyes. It wasn’t too heavy, just enough to make his eyes pop and Seunghyun was once again impressed by how fashionable Jiyong always looked, especially when going out.

 

Jiyong spotted him nearly immediately and only when he walked closer, Seunghyun saw that he had picked one of his fur coats for the night and the shiny silvery shoes. It would probably look tacky or too much over the top on anyone else, but Jiyong looked really good in extravagant clothes like that.

 

“Hey, didn’t expect you to be here this soon. Were you already dressed?”

 

“You wish, I just threw together an outfit real quick, but I am kinda regretting not taking my time now. I fucked up my makeup real bad and the coat is way too thick to be worn in spring, what was I thinking? And my shirt doesn’t match with my pants at all.”

 

Seunghyun smiled. “Nonsense, I think you look amazing.”

 

“Really?”, there was that soft smile again that always made Seunghyun smile as well.

 

“Yes, really.”, he ruffled Jiyong’s hair, letting his hand drop down to his cheek, before he put his arm around his neck and pulled him along to where the rest of the group was. “Come on, I want to introduce you to the nerds I work with. I am sure you will get along with them.”

 

Thirty minutes later and Jiyong was the star of the evening —  everyone loved him and his style. He got so many compliments that more often than not he tried to hide his blushing face in Seunghyun’s shoulder, which got them a round of ‘aww’s, making Jiyong hide behind Seunghyun even more.

 

As the night dragged on Seunghyun somehow got convinced by Jiyong to dance with him —  it was more flailing limbs and uncoordinated hip and shoulder jerking, but Jiyong was laughing all the time, nearly spilling his drink in hand, and Seunghyun enjoyed it. It was fun, being goofy like that. It was good to just let loose like that and it was even better that Jiyong was not laughing at him because he was ridiculous. Okay —  technically he was, but it was in an endeared way so to say. Jiyong would never be so cruel to laugh at Seunghyun and make him feel bad that way.

 

His breath was already more of a light panting and Seunghyun could feel sweat form on his forehead and neck —  he really needed something to drink. Jiyong’s glass was already empty and Seunghyun had discarded his beer glass ages ago by now. His mind was fogged with alcohol and his fingers and cheeks tickled from the alcohol and it seemingly got more intense whenever Jiyong would dance close to him.

 

“I’m gonna go get us some more drinks, okay?”, he nearly shouted into Jiyong’s ear. The music around them was loud and Seunghyun wasn’t even sure if Jiyong had understood him, but as he grinned at him and nodded, he realized it was all fine.

 

Seunghyun quickly pushed through the moving crowd —  normally he hated having that many people around him, but he had Jiyong with him so it wasn’t half as bad. That was at least, until he returned with the drinks for them in his hands. He was about to push the last few people out of the way when he realized that Jiyong was talking to someone —  or that someone was talking to Jiyong. The other man was taller than Jiyong, Caucasian features and a five o’clock shadow. Seunghyun wasn’t into guys, but he knew that this guy was attractive and it suddenly made him angry —  it got worse when he started to whisper something in Jiyong’s ear and had the nerve to put a hand on his hip.

 

Without thinking, he pushed past the people on the dancefloor and rather rudely pushed the guy away with his shoulder —  making himself appear taller by straightening his shoulders and puffing out his chest. He was looking at Jiyong with his back to the idiot who had tried to hit up Jiyong. “Here, I got your drink. Wanna dance some more?”

 

He vaguely heard the guy behind him cuss at him, but he ignored him. All that mattered right now was Jiyong who first looked up at him with a confused look on his face, but then the confusion melted away and was replaced with an almost shy smile. Jiyong thanked him as he grabbed his glass and followed without a second thought about the guy who had just flirted with him as Seunghyun put an arm around his shoulder and dragged him towards the dancefloor —  instead he wrapped one arm around Seunghyun's waist and stayed close to him. It felt good, as if they were cuddling on the couch, but a bit better. Maybe because he was drunk or because Jiyong was really good at dancing —  it almost reminded him of the way girls danced at clubs, just that Jiyong was completely nailing every single move.

 

Seunghyun knocked back his drink and placed it at one of the tables close by before he gave Jiyong his full attention again. He had promised him to be the best fake boyfriend he had ever had and he was going to deliver.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Seunghyun woke up the next day his head was pounding and he low-key regretted drinking as much as he did —  his body felt as if someone had dropped a piano on him or something and every single muscle in his body aches. He really was getting old, wasn’t he?

 

There was already movement in their apartment — he heard music playing faintly in the living room and it also sounded as if Jiyong was cooking something. A small smile formed on his lips — it was sweet how the younger one tried, but he really hoped that he wouldn’t accidentally set the whole place on fire or something.

 

With a low groan, he finally managed to drag himself out of bed — he still felt some of the rest alcohol in his blood and had to hold onto the door frame for a second so the room would stop spinning. As he finally stepped into the living room he saw Jiyong actually preparing breakfast — for some reason he didn't seem hangover at all. How in the name of god was he not hangover?

 

He watched Jiyong for a few more moments — his hair was wet, he had apparently taken a shower just a few minutes ago and from what Seunghyun could say, he wasn’t wearing any pants right now (which was nothing out of the ordinary; he had learned rather quickly that Jiyong had a thing to walk around their apartment in just boxers and a loose shirt (if one at all) or in just his robe, much like right now). The robe he wore was bright pink, with yellow sleeves and ‘Wonder Woman’ was written on the back —  it was one of the longer robes he owned, because it actually reached down to his calves. Jiyong had a few more robes — another one was a deep dark red and it was a lot shorter than the one he wore right now. It was so short that thanks to them Seunghyun had seen Jiyong’s thigh tattoos for the first time.

 

That day Jiyong had more than happily shown him all of his tattoos and even explained some of their meanings — Seunghyun hadn’t even realized how much meaning there could be behind a tattoo and after that, he appreciated Jiyong’s work even more.

 

Jiyong finally moved away from the stove, turning around. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he spotted Seunghyun sitting on the bar stool — he even put his hand on his chest as if to calm himself down from a heart attack. Seunghyun chuckled at that to which Jiyong flicked some water in his face, which only made Seunghyun laugh even more.

 

“Oh, you are awake already? I am not done with the breakfast, yet. Why don’t you go back to sleep for another twenty minutes or so and I bring you your breakfast?”, Jiyong sounded a bit pissed about getting spooked, but Seunghyun knew him better than that by now. He was only fake pissed, glaring at him like a kitten.

 

“Breakfast in bed?”

 

Jiyong smiled smugly. “If you want to, it is your bed not mine. Have fun getting rid of the crumbs again.”

 

“Well,” Seunghyun jutted out his lower lip, sulking, “I don’t want to eat alone.”

 

“Want me to join you in bed?”

 

“If you want to?”

 

He smiled again, all of his pissiness washed away. “Go back to bed, I will be there in about twenty minutes.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Seunghyun felt giddy for some reason — it was probably the rest alcohol in his blood. He quickly (well, as quickly as he could) walked back into his room, only to realize that he really, _really_ needed to take a quick shower. He had fallen asleep in the shirt he had worn to the club — how the hell had they even made it back? Seunghyun really couldn't remember it anymore, but they somehow had managed apparently, but now he really needed to shower. He smelled like cigarettes and booze and if he could smell it he didn’t want to know how bad it smelled for Jiyong.

 

The door to their shared wardrobe was already open and he simply walked inside, took the first shirt, boxer briefs and sweats he could find and shuffled towards bathroom. His head was still hurting — he should maybe drink some water or get some painkillers. It really had been a long time since he had gotten drunk like that.

 

He really prayed that he didn’t do anything embarrassing last night, but Jiyong had acted normal so he hopefully did not make a complete ass out of himself at the club.

 

The door to the bathroom fell shut behind him — his eyes were half closed as he yawned loudly. Seunghyun just needed to place his clothes on the counter, or maybe the sink, step into the shower stall and then his sore muscles would hopefully loosen up under the hot water spray and —  

 

He stopped moving mid-yawn as he placed his clothes down on the sink. There in the sink was something weird — it felt firm, but in a way soft, too and he simply grabbed it without thinking twice and pulled it out from under the pile of clothes he had just dumped in the sink and —

 

Screamed.

 

Shit, why the hell was there a dildo in the sink? Seunghyun quickly pushed his clothes aside, only to reveal a few more toys in the sink. Jesus Christ, were they Jiyong’s? Why were they in the sink? He let the dildo fall back into the sink — had Jiyong washed them or something? Did you have to wash them? In the sink?

 

He had so many questions and nothing made sense to his hangover ridden brain right now and the next thing he knew was that the bathroom door got yanked open and a really concerned Jiyong stormed in. “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself? I just heard you scream and — “

 

Seunghyun didn’t know what to say so he simply pointed at the sink filled with sex toys — Jiyong’s eyes followed, darting to the sink and widened in realization. His cheeks turned crimson immediately and rushed over to grab the toys and darted out of the bathroom so quick Seunghyun didn’t even have the chance to say anything.

 

He walked towards Jiyong’s room, but stopped in the doorway of the bathroom — there was some rustling on the other side of Jiyong’s door and after a few seconds of cursing and whatever he did, he finally emerged back from his room. His cheeks were still red as ever and he couldn't really meet Seunghyun’s eyes.

 

Seunghyun was the first one to find his voice.

 

“You know you don’t have to be emb— “

 

“Can we just pretend this didn’t happen?”

 

He stopped and stared at Jiyong.

 

“Sure, whatever you want.”

 

His roommate visibly relaxed at that —  his tensed shoulders dropped down a bit and he even smiled at Seunghyun again (his cheeks were still as red as ever and Seunghyun had to stop himself from reaching out and just pinching his cheeks).

 

“So you have to wash toys in the sink?”

 

Jiyong groaned loudly and buried his face in his hands. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about this.”

 

“We are not, this is simply a question about sex toys. I don’t know what you are talking about, princess.”

 

His roommate finally looked up at him through his fingers until he finally seemed to be comfortable enough to look at him again normally. Jiyong shook his head in disbelief, biting his lower lip as he tried to stop the embarrassed smile on his lips. “Uh, yes you have to. Every once in a while is good or, you know, after uh, using them in general.”

 

“So you used them last night?”

 

His brain really had no filter when recovering from a hangover.

 

Jiyong’s face flushed red again as his mouth gaped open. He tried to say something several times, but he never did. Instead, he just muttered a small ‘shut up’ and walked back towards the kitchen.

 

For some reason Seunghyun thought the whole thing awfully entertaining.

 

He snickered as he watched his friend walk back into the kitchen. Teasing Jiyong was way too easy and way too much fun, too. Maybe he should feel a bit bad about it, but he really didn’t. Not even when Jiyong glared daggers at him as he finally disappeared into the bathroom again to take a shower (minus the dildos and whatever those other things were).

 

When he stepped into his room again, Jiyong had already placed their breakfast on a tray and sat there waiting for him. His cheeks were still a faint red, but the glare was gone. Instead, he wordlessly put a plate in Seunghyun’s hand and started to eat breakfast.

 

Seunghyun sat down next to him, chuckling lowly, which earned him a slap against his chest, but then Jiyong had to laugh, too and Seunghyun knew everything was good again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“So, I gotta ask.” — they were in their favourite bar again and them being Daesung, Youngbae, Chaerin, Jiyong and Seunghyun. Chaerin and Daesung had stormed to the bar as soon as they stepped a foot inside, complaining to each other about the shit day they had, while the other three of them walked over to their booth. Jiyong had quickly went to the restroom, leaving him and Youngbae alone at the table.

 

Which seemingly was the perfect moment to start whatever conversation Youngbae was about to start with him. “Yeah?”

 

“You and Jiyong,” he nodded his head towards him, “What is that?”

 

Seunghyun looked at his friend with a confused look on his face. “What is what? We are roommates and friends.”

 

For some reason Youngbae looked frustrated — had he missed something? Had Jiyong maybe talked to him about them? His mind went into overdrive within seconds — maybe Jiyong thought that he had a crush on him and was uncomfortable with it? Maybe he feared for their friendship and maybe Seunghyun was overstepping boundaries and that was why he asked Youngbae to talk to him about it?

 

“Did he say something to you? Is it about the whole fake boyfriend thing? If I am making him uncomfortable he just has to say a word and I will stop —  I just thought it would be a good idea to, you know, make him happy a bit until he finds a real boyfriend and I find a girlfriend.”

 

Youngbae looked even more frustrated and now Seunghyun was sure that he had missed at least _something_. “No, you are not making him uncomfortable.”, he took a sip of his beer and the longer Seunghyun looked at him the better he could see how Youngbae was thinking about something really hard —  as if weighting options, as if deciding to say something or not, but eventually he just sighed, giving up on whatever he was about to say. Instead, he looked up and his eyes wandered through the room until they locked in one place.

 

“Well, seems like you won’t have to play pretend boyfriend any longer — or at least tonight. Jiyong seems busy, maybe you could look for a girl tonight, too?”

 

Seunghyun’s head snapped around so fast he nearly gave himself backlash — he looked around and his eyes immediately zeroed in on Jiyong and the same guy that had talked to him the last time they had been out. How the hell had he found Jiyong again?

 

There was this uneasy feeling in his stomach again —  what if that guy was just another asshole, wanting Jiyong only for sex, hurting him and then dumping him to move on to the next guy to have sex with. It made him angry to even think about a situation like that —  Jiyong deserved someone that would listen to him when he had a rough day, that would wrap his wrist if it hurt, that would cook for him and go to the movies at midnight with him because they had a 80s horror movies special that day and come on Seunghyun, you don’t have to work tomorrow anyways (turned out Jiyong was a huge horror movie enthusiast —  Seunghyun not so much, but he endured it for Jiyong and then he had to actually sleep with a light on, because whenever he closed his eyes he had the feeling that something was about to creep up on him and stick a knife into him).

 

Jiyong deserved all the romantic shit he not so secretly loved and not some mediocre looking asswipe that only wanted sex and would just use him.

 

“Dude, are you okay?”

 

Seunghyun snapped back to reality and turned towards Youngbae again who was looking at him with a partly confused, but also concerned look on his face. “Hm?”

 

He pointed downwards and Seunghyun inwardly cursed at himself, he had just successfully crushed his pack of cigarettes in his right hand without even noticing it. Damnit, that was his last pack of cigarettes and all the shops were closed now and the cigarette machine didn’t hold his brand — how wonderful. Seunghyun quickly let go of the pack and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck — he really wasn’t himself today. It was probably work — it had to be.

 

They had just finished their project, but their boss still didn’t like it and there had been a huge fight with another department of their studio and long story short, they had to redo a lot of the already finished stuff, which pissed them all off, but they had to do it.

 

Maybe he just needed sleep.

 

Seunghyun quickly downed the rest of his scotch, before he grabbed his ruined smokes, keys and wallet.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I’m really tired from work and I should go to sleep soon — sorry, Bae. Make sure that Jiyong is save, okay?” He didn’t really wait for an answer, but instead grabbed his jacket and was already halfway out of the door.

 

The night was still young, but he really didn’t feel like staying at the bar any longer. His stomach had suddenly started to act up and his head had started to hurt too — he really needed to drink some water and get some rest. His body was probably too stressed out from work by now.

 

Seunghyun quickly walked up the steps to their apartment, toed off his shoes once he walked inside and had closed the door and hang up his jacket (Jiyong would otherwise nag him to death about just letting it drop on the floor). The apartment was awfully quiet now that Jiyong was not home, but he tried to pay no attention to that right now —  he just needed painkillers for his head and something to calm his stomach down a bit and then he would lay down and sleep.

 

Just that that didn’t really work — he looked at the watch; he had already been home for roughly an hour and had tried to fall asleep for the past forty-five minutes. Why couldn’t he sleep? It seemingly got worse the longer he lay awake in his bed. He started to think about Jiyong for some reason and the guy he was with. Technically he knew that Jiyong was an adult and could make his own decisions, but he was still worried. What if the guy really was an asshole? What if he hurt him? Or did things to him he didn’t want? It made his stomach hurt even more and Seunghyun buried his head in the pillows. This was all stupid.

 

He was in so in deep thoughts that he almost didn’t catch the light knock against his door. “Yeah?”, Jiyong slowly opened the door and stuck his head inside the room, his face carrying a worried expression that only deepen as he stepped into the room and looked at Seunghyun.

 

“Are you okay? When I came back to the table, Youngbae told me you didn’t feel good and that you went home early — what’s wrong?”

 

Jiyong sat down next to Seunghyun on the bed, one hand carefully combing through his messy hair and he immediately felt himself relax at the touch and his stomach calmed down, too. The pills were apparently finally working.

 

“I don’t know — maybe work? It’s been hell these past few weeks and I am stressed and I think alcohol might not have been the best idea. My stomach hurts and my head, too.”

 

Jiyong continued to carefully stroke Seunghyun’s head, the worried look never leaving.

 

“Can I do something to make you feel better?”

 

Maybe it really was exhaustion, because he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. “Sleep with me?” — he bit his tongue as soon as he said what he had said, hoping Jiyong wasn’t getting the wrong idea. “It’s just that —  I hate to be alone when I feel unwell, when I was a kid my grandma always held my hand or my older sister would be there and I know this is probably weird to ask —  sorry.”

 

But instead of getting scolded or whatever, Jiyong simply continued to stroke his hair — his frown finally changing into a small smile before he leaned down and placed a small kiss on Seunghyun’s forehead. “Sure, just give me a moment to change and brush my teeth. I will be right back.”

 

Seunghyun nodded. How did he deserve such an amazing friend as Jiyong? He really didn’t know, but he was grateful — even more so when Jiyong walked into his room ten minutes later with a steaming cup of tea in his hand and placed it on Seunghyun’s nightstand. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and an oversized shirt that looked a lot like one of Seunghyun’s old shirts.

 

“Here, this should help your stomach — it tastes a bit bitter, but it is really good I promise. It’s my go to drink whenever I feel sick.”

 

“Are you wearing one of my shirts?”

 

Jiyong had just placed the cup on the nightstand when he suddenly froze and looked down on himself, his mouth falling open and he nervously looked over at Seunghyun who just laughed. “It’s okay really, we share a wardrobe so don’t freak out. It’s just huge on you — I mean it is a bit too big for me, too — but it literally dwarves you!” Seunghyun couldn’t hold back his amusement, especially not when Jiyong fake pouted at him as he crawled into bed next to him.

 

The smile never left his lips, not even as he nearly burned his tongue while drinking the tea Jiyong had prepared for him — he had been right; the tea was bitter, but his stomach felt warm and good, it really helped. Jiyong was curled up in a ball next to him and the more he drank of the tea, the more his stomach felt as if butterflies were in it —  he really needed to ask Jiyong what tea this was exactly, because it worked wonders. He drowned the last of the cup, before he placed it back on the nightstand and laid down next to Jiyong — the other man was still looking at him with a slight frown on his face.

 

“Are you feeling better yet?”

 

“With you here, obviously.”

 

“Idiot.”, a smile tugged at his lips. “But for real, are you feeling better yet?”

 

“Yes, I am. Thank you for the tea it really helped a lot.”

 

“You’re welcome, baby.”

 

Seunghyun smiled again — this time he was the one brushing through Jiyong’s hair. It was oddly soft for how often the younger one dyed it —  he had no idea how he managed that, but he just loved touching his hair and Jiyong seemingly didn’t hate it either. He pushed Seunghyun back and lay down on his chest, like he often did when they watched TV, and pressed his nose against his neck. His body was warm and he really enjoyed how Jiyong’s body pressed against his own.

 

Not only was his hair soft, but it also smelled really good, too —  whenever Jiyong curled up on him like that he would more or less bury his nose in his hair (unwillingly or willingly, didn’t really matter) and he was always taken aback by how good the younger one smelled. He had told him before that he smelled like peaches, but it was always a little surprise to him how good he really smelled. Without sounding like a creep, he would gladly hug Jiyong and inhale his scent like that at any given moment of the day.

 

Jiyong reached around him and shut of the lights, only to cuddle up against Seunghyun’s chest again — his arms reached around Seunghyun’s waist and Seunghyun did the same, even pulled him just a bit closer against him.

 

“Goodnight, baby.”

 

“Goodnight, princess.”   

 

* * *

 

 

Seunghyun really thought that that was it — that his stomach had been acting up because of stress and that it would eventually get better; it had to and it had gotten so much better when Jiyong had prepared a hot cup of tea for him and stayed with him.

Just that it didn’t seem to go away.

It was another week or so later; they were out having fun again — first, they had spent their free afternoon at a park, sitting together, eating whatever they had picked up on their way (with Youngbae complaining about the lack of healthy food, to which Daesung just dryly replied that if he craves something green he should just eat the grass they were sitting on) and enjoyed their time together. It was nice to sit together like that and after a while Chaerin joined them together with her girlfriend (who Seunghyun now knew was called Dara and a very nice person, too).

 

The weather was nice and Seunghyun had sat down under one of the bigger trees in the park, trying to get away from the sun that was baking down on them and after not even five minutes Jiyong joined him and used his thighs as a pillow (he mumbled something about not getting enough sleep the night before, because he had fixed some last minute changes on one of his drawings and yes it had to be done during late Friday, or early Saturday morning hours, because he wanted to have the rest of the weekend off). Seunghyun simply shrugged and helped Jiyong getting comfortable and mindlessly combed through his hair as he watched the rest of their group bickering over who should get the last slice of pizza.

 

Everything was fine, until it wasn’t.

 

They were out again, having a couple of drinks at the bar they visited before — the music was good, there were tons of pretty girls, and Seunghyun had seen some of them throwing looks at him even. He would have maybe even gone for one of them and talked to them, but then again he really didn’t want to miss out when it came to spending time with his friends and Jiyong. Work was still a nightmare and while he really loved his co-workers he really needed a way to relax and recharge and spending time with Jiyong and their group of friends was the best way to do that.

 

Normally.

 

But tonight, Jiyong seemed to be preoccupied — he had just gotten up to get some drinks while his roommate had started to dance on the dance floor and when he finally managed to fight his way back to where the rest of their friends were sitting, he couldn’t see Jiyong anymore. He placed their drinks down on the table and his eyes started to wander as he absently listened to the story Dara was telling — something about a vacation trip gone wrong with her best friend years ago, but he wasn‘t really listening. Instead, his eyes roamed around the room until he finally saw Jiyong — and he was not alone.

 

He was dancing with another man — moved his hips how Seunghyun had only seen girls do it before and a big smile on his lips as the man grabbed his hips and started to move in sync with him. He looked happy. Really happy. And Seunghyun started to faintly wonder if that guy was already more fun than his own boring ass — he turned away, not wanting to violate his friend‘s privacy like that and tried his best to pay attention to the people in front of him.

 

As the drinks got more and more it got easier to not think about Jiyong and worry about him — he was an adult after all and he was perfectly capable of looking after himself, besides, the guy didn‘t seem to be a complete asshole who he was with — only now whenever he looked over at him he wasn‘t too sure anymore. He hated how stereotypes affected him, but as he saw the other man — covered in tattoos and all that — he couldn’t help but wonder. It was absolutely stupid and he knew it — Jiyong had tattoos too and he was one of the nicest guys Seunghyun had ever met, so why was his first instinct to seeing that guy _get your hands off of him_.

 

He turned his head again, downing the last of his drink — he was positively buzzed now and in the perfect state to dance a bit himself so that was what he did. He went over to the dancefloor and while he was nowhere near as coordinated as Jiyong was he was still having fun and it didn‘t take long until a girl approached him.

 

She was a lot shorter than he was — fiery red hair similar to the tone Jiyong had died his hair not too long ago — and a warm smile on her lips as she watched him dance. The girl slowly stepped closer and Seunghyun had the vague thought that if he wouldn’t be at least slightly tipsy right now he wouldn’t let her come this close — but he was and when he was he didn‘t mind people touching him and she seemed nice enough. He grinned as she threw her arms around his neck and started to dance — the same way Jiyong had just a few moments ago and then there were soft lips on his own and Seunghyun simply closed his eyes and let it happen. It had been ages since he last let someone close, let alone kiss him and it wasn‘t that bad — the girl was a good kisser for sure, but he must have drank more than he thought he had, because for some reason it didn‘t feel exciting. It was a kiss — pressure on his own lips with another pair of lips, but that was it. He pulled back and his gaze landed on Jiyong again as he looked over the shoulder of the girl that was still dancing with him. She didn‘t seem to notice that he wasn‘t paying attention to her and instead stared at his friend — who was kissing the stranger with everything he had.

 

Seunghyun must have really had too much to drink, because he suddenly felt his stomach twist painfully and he felt like throwing up. He staggered back, not listening to the girl that tried to talk to him and instead hurried over to where his friends were sitting, grabbed his jacket, said goodbye and was out of the club in under two minutes.

 

As soon as he was home he made himself the same cup of tea Jiyong had made for him and he drank it, but it didn‘t work — not at all. It only made him feel even sicker and all he could do in the end was walk into the bathroom and go hug the toilet in case he actually had to throw-up. Hours must have passed until he heard the faint sound of the front door being opened and closed again. Jiyong was home again.

 

Not even a minute later there was a soft knock on the bathroom door and after Seunghyun groaned, signalling Jiyong that he was indeed inside, the younger one walked in and immediately sat down next to the older one.

 

“Is it your stomach again? Did you drink too much? You are starting to worry me.“, Jiyong‘s voice was soft and sweet even when it was drenched with worry — his cool fingers pushed Seunghyun‘s hair off his forehead and let his fingers wander over his scalp.

 

“I didn‘t even drink that much, I don‘t know what is wrong — it suddenly hit me and I felt like shit and just needed to go outside, but it didn‘t get better not even when I drank the tea you made for me last time around.“

 

Jiyong continued to stroke his hair, never leaving his side. “How are you feeling now? Do you want me to get you something for your stomach? I am sure we still have something at home.“

 

His eyelids suddenly felt heavy and his neck felt stiff from the odd angle he was having over the toilet seat. “No, I don‘t think it will make much of a difference to be honest. I mean, it feels a bit better now — but don‘t get me wrong, it still feels like someone punched me in the gut.“

 

The frown never left Jiyong‘s face, not even as he helped Seunghyun get up and tugged him into bed like last time — even though Seunghyun told him over and over again that it was fine, that he just drank too much or that it was the stress that was making his stomach upset and that he would be alright, but Jiyong still wanted to stay until Seunghyun fell asleep, still combing his fingers through his hair and it didn’t take long in the end for Seunghyun to finally fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

When he wakes up the next day his stomach still feels a bit weird, but a lot better than the night before and he manages to shuffle into the kitchen sometime in the afternoon. Apparently he really needed some sleep after the stressful hours at work, because he can‘t remember the last time he had slept past two in the afternoon.

 

His first stop was the coffee machine — Seunghyun needed caffeine or he was going to fall asleep then and there again. He had just finished brewing a steaming hot cup of freshly brewed coffee when Jiyong suddenly emerged from his own room — already fully dressed, hair and make-up done with a big smile on his lips.

 

“Seunghyun — you are finally awake! I didn’t want to wake you, because I checked in with you a few times to see if you were awake already, but you were sleeping so peacefully I really did not want to wake you.“, he walked over to Seunghyun and poured himself a cup, too and Seunghyun noticed that he was wearing one of his _nicer outfits_ as Jiyong liked to call them.

 

“Uhm — yeah work has been killing me, I must have been more exhausted than I thought I would be.“, he took a sip from his coffee, “You going somewhere?“

 

“I have a date.“

 

Seunghyun nearly choked on his coffee. “You what?“

 

“Yeah, I met this guy yesterday and he asked me out — apparently he has seen me a couple of times at the club already, but was always too shy to approach me, can you believe that?“

 

Seunghyun didn‘t answer.

 

“Anyways, I don‘t know how long I will be gone. If the date goes well it will be late — so you have the flat to yourself for today.“

 

“Wait-“ Seunghyun‘s mouth worked faster than his brain and as Jiyong stopped in his movements and looked at him Seunghyun started to panic. Why did he tell him to wait? What had he wanted to say? — he wrecked his brain and as he saw Jiyong was about to ask him what he wanted he just blurted out the first thing he could think of.

 

“Didn‘t you promise me that we would have an Alien marathon this weekend?“

 

A small smile appeared on Jiyong‘s lips. “Yeah, well we can always do that tomorrow, can‘t we? Besides you don‘t seem to be in the mood to do anything today so I thought it maybe wouldn’t be too bed if I got out of your hair.“

 

Jiyong turned around, grabbing his phone and cigarettes and Seunghyun bit the insides of his cheeks. He really didn’t feel like sitting at home alone today — bedside he still felt like shit, didn‘t Jiyong feel at least a little bit bad for him.

 

“Well, what do you even know about that guy? Maybe he is a creep and asshole and just wants to hurt you and use you like the other guys you have met before.“

 

“That is what dates are there for — to see what the person is like, right? To get to know them?“, Jiyong turned around with a irritated look on his face. “But not like it is any of your business — why do you snap like that at me in the first place?“

 

“I didn‘t snap at you.“ — though he had the vague feeling he did, because his voice suddenly sounded angrier than he meant it to be.

 

“Oh, then what do you call this? Friendly conversation?“

 

“Well, not my fault if you become all bitchy as soon as some random dick is involved.“ Low blow, Seunghyun, _low blow._ As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to bite his tongue off — what the hell was wrong with him? He immediately wanted to open his mouth to apologize, but Jiyong cut him off.

 

“Okay, what the _fuck_ is wrong with you today? Why are you suddenly acting like a prick? Is it because your stomach hurts? Well, news flash I am not your nurse or your nanny or _whatever,_ I don‘t have to be there for you all the time to make you feel better — and if it is work that is stressing you out so much, I suggest that maybe you find a way to release some of the tension! Why don‘t you finally get a girlfriend? Maybe the one from the club last night? Because from the way you are behaving right now I get the impression that you seriously need to get _laid_.“

 

Shit that hurt.

 

But Seunghyun didn‘t say anything, simply put his cup down and nearly threw it into the sink, before he marched back into his own room and threw the door shut behind him. He knew that he had behaved like an asshole and he had wanted to apologize right away so there was no reason for Jiyong to behave like a complete prick himself.

 

A second later the front door was being slammed shut and Seunghyun started to blast music.

 

Whatever, if Jiyong wanted to act like a bitchy teenager, he would let him.

 

* * *

 

 

They didn‘t really talk for the next two or three days — Seunghyun was mostly at the office anyways and whenever he came home all he did was take a shower, wolf down whatever take out he had picked up on the way back home and collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

 

It wasn't until Wednesday that Seunghyun finally jumped over his shadow and talked to Jiyong. He came home around a reasonable time for once and went through what he wanted to say to Jiyong in his head at least twenty times, before he walked into their apartment.

 

There was music playing in the distance and he spotted Jiyong sitting on the couch, hovering over one of his sketchbooks immediately. He toed off his shoes and hang up his jacket before he carefully approached his roommate.

 

He cleared his throat. "Uhm, Jiyong?"

 

The younger man wasn't looking up from his sketchbook, but Seunghyun was sure he was listing. "I just, do you maybe want to grab a bite? There is that restaurant maybe fifteen minutes away from here and I think you'd like it. I'm paying."

 

Jiyong was still not looking up and Seunghyun was getting desperate. "Okay, no the truth is I feel horrible about our fight. You're right, it's none of my business who you go out with and I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, _I'm sorry_. I don't know what was wrong with me that day and I'm just — I'm so sorry okay? I hate not talking to you and I just want to make up again. Can we do that? You can even slap me if it makes you feel better."

 

Jiyong finally moved his head and met Seunghyun's gaze and Seunghyun suddenly felt worse than before. His eyes were a red and slightly swollen — shit, had Jiyong been crying? Did his date not go well?

 

"You're such an idiot."

 

A humourless chuckle escaped his lips. "Uhm, yeah. That's not the first time someone tells me that, so I guess it must be true."

 

But instead of a chuckle Jiyong gave him _that look_ again. The one Seunghyun had no idea what it could mean and he really started to wonder what this was all about — what was he missing?

 

He wanted to ask Jiyong — ask him about why his eyes were so red, but then the younger one suddenly got up from the couch and within maybe half a second Jiyong was hugging him.

 

"Apology accepted, you moron." he felt Jiyong's arms wrap around his torso and how he buried his face in his neck and Seunghyun immediately returned the hug, pulling Jiyong a bit closer.

 

"I'm sorry, too. The things I said — I'm sorry about that."

 

"It's okay—"

 

"No, it's not. Just because I got angry doesn't mean I have the right to treat you like shit. You were feeling unwell and instead of making sure you feel better I started to argue with you about stupid things."

 

Seunghyun pulled Jiyong a bit closer against his chest. "Alright, apology accepted, but only if I can take you to that restaurant."

 

Jiyong finally started to giggle — he had really missed that sound. "Wow, you'll only accept my apology once I let you pay for my dinner, really?"

 

"Exactly, otherwise I won't accept it. So, what do you say?"

 

"That's _such_ a hard decision. Really, I don't know what to do —", Seunghyun scoffed and Jiyong giggled again.

 

"Alright, alright. I'll come with you!"

 

“Then go get dressed, I doubt you‘d want to go out in sweatpants and — wait, is that one of my shirts?“

 

“— maybe?“, Jiyong still hid his face in the other‘s neck and Seunghyun had to laugh again — his friend was just too adorable, especially in that oversized shirt. He hugged him closer again for a moment. “Alright,  but we still have to get ready. While you _do_ look adorable in my shirt, I don‘t think that your inner fashionista would approve of you going out in sweatpants.“

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, Seunghyun _had_ been right — Jiyong loved the restaurant. It was run by an elderly couple; he was originally from India, while his wife — who was one of the sweetest people Seunghyun had ever met — was from South Korea, and together they had created their own menu of mixing traditional Indian and Korean food and Jiyong _loved_ it. He had a thing for spicy food and for intestines and was always curious about different cultures and as soon as he looked through the menu, Seunghyun knew he was sold. It took him ages until he finally settled for one dish, but Seunghyun wasn‘t having any of it and told him he could order three dishes — whatever he left and couldn‘t eat now they could always take it with them and put it in the fridge.

 

Jiyong practically vibrated with happiness in that moment.

 

Slipping back into their normal banter was easy as hell — they started to joke around again, talk about god knows what and simply had a good time. It was fun and Seunghyun felt really happy for the first time in days.

 

But he was still worried about Jiyong crying — but he couldn’t just ask about that, could he? Then again, how else would he find out what was bothering the younger one?

 

“—hey, uhm. How did your date go?“

 

Jiyong just shoved another mouthful of rice and intestines into his mouth, munching it down, before answering. “Actually, really good — he seems to be a really nice guy.“

 

_Huh._

 

“Does that mean you will see him again?“

 

“Well, I mean. Probably. He seems to be a real sweetheart and to be honest, I really miss being in a relationship and he seems nice enough to at least get to know him a little bit, you know? Dating a bit to figure out whether or not you and the other person get along like that or not.“

 

Seunghyun simply nodded, pushing his food around with his fork. “Sounds reasonable.“ He suddenly didn‘t feel hungry anymore — his stomach probably didn‘t like all the spicy food, he should have stuck to something less spicy after all.

 

“He might come over sometime this week, and I was wondering if that would be okay for you?“

 

“Sure, I mean it is _your_ flat, too. You can bring friends over — or dates.“, his smile suddenly felt tight, but he ignored it. He had just told Jiyong that he was sorry for how he behaved the last time, he couldn’t throw another fit because his stomach was still acting up like that.

 

“Alright, then I will ask him — but it could also mean that he would maybe stay the night, are you okay with that?.“

 

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?.“

 

Jiyong sent him a funny look.

 

“Just checking, is all.“

 

They were quiet for a moment, Jiyong slowly chewing on his food.

 

“If you want, I could crash at someone else‘s place for that night — so, you know, you guys can be alone.“

 

The spicy food was now really showing it‘s effect — Seunghyun‘s stomach was twisting and turning and he tried hard to maintain the smile on his face.

 

“Uhm, okay. I mean, sure. If that is okay for you?“

 

Seunghyun simply shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

 

“I don‘t mind, besides — I promised Daesung to spent more time with him anyways, might as well finally make that happen, right?“

 

Jiyong reached for his glass, humming in agreement, before he took a big gulp from the glass.

 

Silence settled between them again.

  


“Can I ask you something?“

 

“Sure.“

 

“Your eyes — they look a bit swollen and red; have you been crying? If it is about that guy maybe not being the sweetheart you said he was it maybe would be better not to meet him, you know. I just don‘t want to see you crying over some idiot that doesn‘t treat you right — you have already dated enough assholes.“

 

His mouth suddenly got dry when he saw Jiyong sigh and shake his head. “Don‘t worry about me — it was not about him.“ he took a sip from his glass “I just watched a really sad k drama last night and cried because of it. You know how emotional I always get when watching those.“

 

Jiyong was back to digging into his food, more concentrated on it than on Seunghyun — had he been that hungry? Seunghyun felt even better about his idea of taking Jiyong out than he did before — his friend always worked so hard; but why did it more feel Iike Jiyong was avoiding looking at him?

 

He bit his lip.

 

“Ji, you know you can always talk to me — right?“

 

The younger one finally looked up from his dinner, a confused look on his face.

 

“It‘s just that, I feel like there is something that is bothering you — or, that there is something on your mind? I know I haven’t said that before, but if you ever feel like you want or need to talk about something — anything, I am here for you. I want you to be happy and if I can make you feel better in a way, just tell me and I will do it.“ — and there was _that_ look again and Seunghyun felt like screaming. Why was Jiyong looking at him like that, what was he missing?

 

“—and now you are giving me that look again; I have seen you look at me like that a few times now and I don‘t know what it means and I feel helpless. I want to support you, Jiyong — if you want my support that is, but you have to tell me what‘s on your mind for that.“

 

Jiyong‘s facial expression changed immediately — he looked away again and Seunghyun could swore that there was now a blush on his cheeks. Had he been too straight forward? Was Jiyong not used to friends being affectionate with one another? Then again, he never was this affectionate with any of his friends — Jiyong was special in that way. — and in moments like this, when he looked at him with soft eyes and a gentle smile on his lips, he just wanted to hug him.

 

“Thank you, Seunghyun. For telling me that and yes you are right, I have a few things on my mind and I really appreciate you wanting to help and support me.“

 

“—but?“

 

“—but I think I need to work through this one alone. There isn’t much you can do and you being sweet like this isn’t making it any easier. I‘m really thankful, but I can manage this one on my own. If I ever feel like it will be too much though, I will make sure to reach out for you — okay?“

 

Now Seunghyun was even more confused than before — what was that supposed to mean now? He couldn’t really think of anything right now so he just nodded and continued to look at Jiyong who was finally giving him an earnest smile.

 

“Alright, now that that‘s settled — how do you feel about a dessert?“

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Just like that, things were back to how they were before — well, more or less. For some reason he couldn’t really sleep at night, not like he did before at least. A few weeks ago he had no problem with falling asleep and getting a full night sleep, but now? He often tossed and turned, not able to get comfortable at all and nothing helped. When he finally managed to fall asleep, he woke up several times during the night and had trouble falling asleep again. Paying full attention at work became a nightmare, but no matter how exhausted he felt after a long day at the office, he still had problems with falling asleep.

 

“Dude, you look like shit.“

 

“Thank you so much, Dae. Really appreciated. You make me feel so much better.“

 

Daesung cackled at his sarcasm. The two of them were currently sitting in the living room of Daesung‘s apartment — his Cousin was away for the weekend, which meant that Seunghyun could sleep over just fine. He really had missed spending time with his best friend like that anyways and he was really happy that they finally found the time — if only he wasn‘t so exhausted.

 

“How come your spouse isn’t with you?“

 

“Who?“

 

“ _Jiyong_ , you guys are always attached at the hip like an old married couple. When you asked if you could come over I figured he would come over, too.“

 

Seunghyun flicked a piece of salami at Daesung. “Oh, shut up. We aren‘t that bad.“

 

Daesung gave him a pointed look.

 

“We _are not_ , plus Jiyong has a date tonight and the guy most likely stays over so I wanted to get out of his hair so he could actually, you know, enjoy his date without me around.“ — he took another bite from the pizza they had ordered.

 

“Wait, Jiyong has a guy over?“

 

“Yeah.“

 

“—and you are okay with that?“

 

“Why shouldn’t I? — and why is everyone asking me that, of course I am okay with that, I am not some homophobic asshole.“

 

Daesung opened his mouth, wanting to say something — but then closed it again, shaking his head in the process.

 

“Alright, if you say so.“

 

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. “Can we now finally go back to our Marvel marathon?“

 

“Alright, alright.“

 

Seunghyun thought about Daesung‘s words longer than he liked to admit — what the hell had he meant?

 

* * *

 

 

When the next day rolled around, Seunghyun and Daesung were still awake — the credits of ‘Captain Marvel‘ rolling. They had ended up watching movies all night long and now Seunghyun felt even more exhausted than before. His eyes burned, his eyelids felt heavy, his back hurt from sitting on the couch in the same position for that long and even his head hurt. Shit, they should have really stopped after the fifth movie — why did they always do this? Every time they did this he told himself that he would _not_ spent all night _again_ with Daesung watching movies until the sun came up and ways past that. _Every time_ he told himself that they would only watch two or three movies max, or a handful of episodes, but every damn time they ended up like this — totally exhausted with burning eyes, a stiff neck and a sore back.

 

Seunghyun stretched his long limbs, bones and joints cracking as he arched his back and rolled his shoulders. He should have changed position very hour at least two times and not two times every few hours — no wonder he felt like he was 85 when in reality he was only 25.

 

He really missed his bed right now.

 

“I think I‘m gonna head home now.“

 

“You sure you don’t want to crash here? I mean, it‘s like — 10 am now, you could sleep for a couple of hours, I‘ll do that too.“

 

“If I fall asleep at your place I will absolute certainty fall into a 24-hours coma and I don‘t think you want me around when your cousin comes home tomorrow morning, right?“

 

Daesung cringed at that. “Yeah, you are right. Just make sure you get home save — okay?“

 

“Yeah, yeah —“, he yawned — only half-heartedly listening to what Daesung was saying; he was too preoccupied with trying to get his hoodie over his head and tie his shoelaces to actually listen.

 

“Write me once you‘re home, okay?“

 

“Mhm.“ God, his head was killing him.

 

— if he thought that that was already bad was the ride home a rather unpleasant surprise. He had almost forgotten how loud and full New York always was, especially on a Saturday. Not that that mattered — New York was always a busy city and Seunghyun absently noted that he missed living in a small town in moments like that.

 

He barely registered when he finally reached his apartment — he staggered through the entrance door, right towards the elevators and pressed the button. Seunghyun just couldn’t stop yawning and he felt his mood drop lower and lower the closer he got to his apartment. For some reason he felt pissed off — for what reason? He didn’t know, but he partly blamed his mood on the lack of sleep and the pain in his neck and head.

 

When the elevator finally arrived, he just wanted to fall into it and let it do all the work — but sadly he collided with some guy who just knocked his shoulder into his own chest rather harshly and pushed him aside with a snarled ‘ _out of the way, asshole_ ‘ he and he immediately cringed. The dude reeked of sex and that was probably the last thing he wanted to smell right now — some random dude‘s sexcapades. Seunghyun glared at the man in front of him and rather rudely pushed himself into the elevator, making sure to use his bigger frame to push him out of the way and then _finally_ the elevator doors closed and he was alone.

 

What a prick.

 

 Just a few more seconds and he would be able to collapse on his bed and _sleep_.

 

The door to his apartment finally closed behind him, but Seunghyun felt as if someone dropped a ton of bricks on him — the radio was blasting music and he could hear Jiyong singing. While he normally loved Jiyong‘s singing voice, now was certainly the wrong time to sing loudly to an early 2000‘s pop song.

 

Shit, he had completely forgotten that Jiyong had a date last night, too.

 

He slowly walked into the living room, seeing as if anyone else besides Jiyong was around, but thankfully not. The only one he could see was Jiyong —wearing his silky bathrobe that hit him right above his thigh tattoos — who was happily dancing through the kitchen. He suddenly remembered a small fight between Chaerin and Jiyong, because Chaerin wouldn’t stop teasing Jiyong about his legs looking like the ones of a girl and Jiyong had snapped back, saying that she was just jealous because she had gained a little bit of weight over the past few weeks and Jiyong‘s legs were still as perfect as they had always been.

 

She did have a point, though.

 

Jiyong _did_ have amazing legs — he‘d even go as far as to say that they looked even better than the ones from most girls, but then again his brain wasn‘t really working right now. He was too tired and still irritated by the sex-scent-guy. Maybe he should take a shower.

 

“Seunghyun, you are already back? Didn’t hear you come in — how was your night at Daesung‘s?“

 

He slowly dragged himself over to the kitchen era, sitting down on one of the barstools and desperately held onto the cool marble in front of him. “It was a very, very long night and we didn’t sleep at all. Instead we watched seven, or maybe even eight? Marvel movies and I‘m dead — everything hurts and the lack of sleep makes me all grumpy and moodie.“ — he groaned loudly as he leaned forward and placed his head on the cool marble; it felt amazing.

 

“Why am I not surprised — was it fun, though?“

 

Seunghyun slowly lifted his head, looking at Jiyong who was currently making, more like _trying_ to make, pancakes. His chin was still placed on the cool marble. “Yeah, it was nice —“, he yawned “How was your date? You are in an obnoxiously good mood today, I take it went well?“

 

“Well—“ Jiyong finally put aside the pan and fished out the last pancake “—he only left maybe half a minute before you came home, you probably even ran into him in the elevator so yeah — the date was good.“

 

Seunghyun suddenly tensed all over again and it only got worse when he saw the dopey smile on Jiyong‘s lips. That asshole that smelled of sex and ran into him without apologizing was Jiyong‘s date? Did that mean that they — He didn’t want to finish that thought, but as he took a closer look at Jiyong‘s neck it was all too obvious. There were hickeys — small, but still there — all over his neck and collarbone and Seunghyun suddenly felt even angrier than before. That guy had touched Jiyong and probably had only used him for sex — when was Jiyong finally going to learn from his mistakes?

 

“Yeah, I met him.“

 

Jiyong‘s smile suddenly dropped as he looked at Seunghyun‘s face and heard the tone of his voice — he knew he was glaring daggers right now and he didn’t feel sorry for that.

 

“Oh?“

 

“Yeah, that asshole nearly tackled me as I stepped into the elevator and had the nerve to _snarl_ at me to get out of the way. Plus he _reeked_ of sex. Can‘t say that he left a positive impression on me, Ji.“

 

He could see the way Jiyong‘s body suddenly tensed up and his cheeks turned red.

 

“Well, he was in a hurry to get home you know.“

 

“—still doesn’t make it okay for him to snap at me like that and call me an asshole.“

 

Jiyong sighed, obviously frustrated. “Well, you don’t have to like him — I am the one who is fucking him not you.“

 

“Wait, you are going to see that douche again?“

 

“Yes, I am — do you have a problem with that?“

 

“Well, he is an asshole so yes I am _not exactly_ thrilled about the idea of you dating that guy.“

 

Jiyong crossed his arms in front of his chest, features twisting into an angry scowl. “Are you really sure that that is the reason? That you just don’t want me to date assholes, or is it maybe something different?“

 

“ _Yes, I am sure_. You were the one who whined about only dating assholes and I promised you that I would look out for you that if you met someone new I would make sure that they are not an asshole and now, here I am — telling you that that guy _is_ an asshole.“

 

Jiyong started to bite on his lower lip, shaking his head — obviously pissed off at what Seunghyun was saying. “It‘s just that I don’t think that that is the only reason you are this pissed off.“

 

The painful knot in Seunghyun‘s stomach hurt even worse now and his pulse picked up. “Oh, enlighten me then Jiyong. What else could be the reason? Please tell me, since you seem to know all the damn answers!“

 

“Does it bother you that I had sex with him?“

 

“Why should it bother me—“

 

“Answer the fucking question, Seunghyun. Does it bother you to see me with another man? Kissing him? Having sex?“

 

His own voice sounded alien to him and he had to bite the insides of his cheeks as he tried to ignore his pounding heart and twisting stomach. — “No.“

 

For whatever reason that seemed to be the wrong answer — Jiyong‘s nostrils flared and he threw the freshly made pancakes into the trash can. His movements were frantic and if Seunghyun didn’t know any better he would think that he saw tears in Jiyong's eyes, but he stormed off to his own room, slamming the door shut before he could say anything.

 

His heart was still going crazy, tugging painfully — this was totally the opposite of how he wanted things to go. They had fought before and he had been so happy that things had been back to normal the past few days, but now Jiyong was throwing a fit about _whatever_ that he got so angry with Seunghyun he even started to cry.

 

He felt the sharp pain in his neck and head again, each throb sending another wave of pain through his skull and he slowly made his way over to his own room — he really needed to finally get some sleep otherwise he would go mad for sure. Seunghyun had just reached his own door when Jiyong‘s suddenly got yanked open and Jiyong stormed out again — fully clothed with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder and seemingly ready to leave.

 

“Where are you going?“

 

Jiyong twisted around, angry tears in his eyes as he glared daggers at Seunghyun. “Why do you want to know? Not like you care about who I fuck — isn’t that right Seunghyun?“

 

He didn’t find his voice to answer that and that pissed Jiyong off even more and all Seunghyun could do was watch as Jiyong stormed out of their apartment and threw the door shut — he winced when the loud noise sent another wave of pain through his body.

 

Seunghyun made a beeline for their emergency kit, digging through it until he found painkillers and everything else that could make him feel better right now. He took the pills against the massive headache and took another one so he could actually sleep and then he _finally_ walked into his own room and collapsed on the bed.

 

Sleep came almost immediately and he was dead to the world for the next 16 hours.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When he woke up the next day it took him hours to finally get out of bed, but the need to piss, shower and eat were stronger than his laziness and he eventually managed to wrestle himself out of bed around noon. Seunghyun took a quick shower, used the bathroom and then made himself something to eat, which consisted of oatmeal, fried eggs with some bacon and toast — he was starving.

 

Only after he wolfed down his food he noticed how silent their apartment was — he quickly put away the dishes and then glimpsed into Jiyong’s room, but nothing. Jiyong really had left for the night and hadn’t come home yet.

 

He shook his head — whatever, if Jiyong wanted to make a scene over him trying to be a good friend then that was his problem. He only had wanted to protect him from getting hurt and if he couldn’t see that because he was too dickmatized by some random asshole then that was once again his problem and not Seunghyun‘s.

 

The nagging voice at the back of his head would have to shut up sooner or later.

 

It was around 4pm when his sister showed up — three weeks or so ago they had all agreed to start binge watching Law & Order and Seunghyun had completely forgotten about that, but now Hyeyoun was already here and he didn't want to kick her out after she drove to his place for over an hour. Plus once her son would be born he just knew that he would barely got to see his sister so he had to make good use of the time they had now while she was only in the third or fourth month of the pregnancy.

 

"How come Jiyong isn't home? Didn't we all agree to watch it together?"

 

Seunghyun inwardly groaned, he really didn't want to talk about Jiyong right now let alone think about him while his roommate was busy screwing some asshole that didn't deserve him.

 

" What, am I such a bad company that you don't want to spent time with your baby brother alone? Is that what you are trying to tell me?"

 

His sister gave him an irritated look. "What — no. It's just that we all agreed to watch it together and I don't want him to be pissed that we started watching it without him."

 

"Well, it's his own fault for not showing up. If he'd care he'd be here but he is not so are we going to watch it or not?"

 

Seunghyun was getting frustrated — why was everyone so hung up about Jiyong not being here or attached to Seunghyun’s hip? Jiyong was his own person and didn't need Seunghyun around all the damn time. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands.

 

"Is everything okay between you guys?"

 

Seunghyun sighed again — he knew his sister would annoy him until he spilled what was going on so he better gave in right away. "We had an argument last night, he grabbed a few things and stayed the night at someone else's place — probably his new boy toy's."

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"He went on a date with some guy last week and the asshole came over on Friday, which was why I stayed with Daesung that night and we watched Marvel Movies. When I came home the next day the asshole tackled me and pushed me when I stepped into the elevator and called me an asshole and when I told Jiyong that I don't think that _that asshole_ is a good match for him he suddenly flipped his shit and left. I still don't know what that was about."

 

His sister was quiet for a moment, sending him a look that was really similar to the one Jiyong always gave him and it pissed him off." What?"

 

"Oh, notching.“

 

“ _What?_ “

 

“Nothing!“

 

“Oh, don't gimme that crap — you tell me what you have to say.“

 

Hyeyoun sighed. “Just ignore me — come on lets watch Law & Order now.“

 

“Fine.“

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Jiyong finally came home later that night when Hyeyoun was still around (she had declared that she would stay the night and crash on the couch an hour earlier— after stealing all of Seunghyun‘s fluffy pillows) and she immediately walked up to him, hugged him and talked to Jiyong about god knows what — and Jiyong indulged her, didn‘t even spare him a look and it rubbed Seunghyun the wrong way. He hated this — he hated not talking to Jiyong, he hated fighting with Jiyong, he hated Jiyong ignoring him, but he just didn’t know how to fix it.

 

When Jiyong and Hyeyoun grabbed a few glasses (orange juice for both of them since Hyeyoun couldn’t drink) and sat down on the balcony, Seunghyun took it as a sign that he was no longer welcomed — he sulked. Whatever. If that‘s how things were going to be now he might as well make the most of it.

 

For once he went to bed early and this time he actually managed to fall asleep (without the need of sleeping pills — and without his favourite pillow to hug).

 

 

* * *

 

 

During the next two weeks, things were still tensed between them to say the least — whenever they passed each other in the flat the other one pretended to be busy or straight up walked out of the room (mostly Jiyong and if Seunghyun was being absolutely honest with himself he was dying a little bit on the inside each time). But he wouldn’t apologize, not again. He already apologized last time and this time he had nothing to apologize for — he had promised Jiyong to look out for him when he would find someone he would consider to date and now that he had done it, Jiyong had gotten angry with him. Did he really like that guy that much already that he would throw their friendship out of the window like that?

 

Seunghyun didn’t want to believe it and he was sure that there was a reason as to why Jiyong was behaving like he did — he just didn’t know what the reason was yet.

 

But right now he just really didn’t want to think about that — Jiyong was still pissed off and he rather waited it out so they could talk when both of them had cooled down a little than ignite the fire again.

 

While he wouldn’t say that he was actively ignoring Jiyong, he did spent his free-time with Dongwook, Jonas and the rest of his co-workers. It felt good to spent time with them outside of work were things weren’t as tensed and everyone talked freely. While they were a chaotic bunch to begin with, it got so much worse when they all hang out outside of work — they were like kids again, forking around, drinking beer and simply having fun and it felt good, _so good_ , but Seunghyun still felt like shit whenever Jiyong popped up in his head.

 

Seunghyun thought a lot about Jiyong during those two weeks.

 

One night — it was Friday night — he was out with Kyungil. Similar to last weekend where he had stayed at Dongwook‘s place all weekend long and only came home on Sunday to shower and do the laundry.

 

That had been a one-time only event though, since Dongwook‘s girlfriend had been out of town that time and she didn‘t appreciate it whenever Dongwook turned their shared flat into a man cave as she liked to call it — which was why he was now walking home, instead of walking to Dongwook‘s place. Seunghyun also did not want to stay at Kyungil‘s place because as much as he loved him he knew how clingy Kyungil could get and that was more than he could handle right now.

 

He was intoxicated — so much that he nearly ran into the doorframe when he finally walked into the apartment and had to stifle a giggle when he noticed it.

 

He somehow managed to toe off his shoes and hang up his jacket without falling over — he started to feel more sober each passing moment anyways so maybe he hadn’t been as drunk as he had thought he was.

 

Seunghyun walked into the living room and — stopped in his tracks. The room was dimly lit, but he could still clearly see the two guys on the couch. Jiyong was sitting in that assholes lap — only wearing his boxers anymore — while having his arms around his neck and his tongue down his throat. Seunghyun could clearly see that he was hard, too.

 

The guy suddenly grabbed his hips hard and Seunghyun felt as sober as he could be.

 

Jiyong finally seemed to realize Seunghyun was standing in the middle of their living room, because he practically leaped off the guy‘s lap and hastily grabbed a pillow to cover his chest and pulled his legs up to cover up his hard-on. “Seunghyun, what are you doing here? I thought you‘d stay with Dongwook like you did last weekend.“

 

Seunghyun felt a vein pop on his forehead as the guy reached over to Jiyong‘s thighs, wanting to squeeze them, but Jiyong quickly swatted the hand away.

 

“Sorry that I live here, too.“ — his voice sounded more like a snarl than anything else and he promptly turned around and walked up to their kitchen, taking a glass and a bottle of red with him and he threw the door shut behind him with a bang, looking it.

 

His mind is hazy and his head is spinning — he had never really seen Jiyong with another guy, not like this at least. He quickly opened the bottle of red and poured himself a glass before he sat down in the middle of his room and nearly downed the whole thing in one go.

 

Seunghyun felt sick — sick because the things he had seen utterly _repulsed_ him. What was wrong with him? He had never thought that he would have homophobic tendencies like this so why did he react so violently to seeing two men kiss and make out? Seunghyun felt hot tears collecting in his eyes and there was a lump in his throat — he just couldn’t get the image of Jiyong and that asshole out of his head, no matter how hard he tried and it made him feel worse and worse each passing moment.

 

Had his grandma‘s strict upbringing left a mark? Was he really a god damn homophobe in the end? Seunghyun filled his glass with wine once more.

 

There was suddenly a soft knock at his door and his whole body froze up — he didn‘t dare to move, didn‘t want to anyways. He didn’t want to see Jiyong — not right now. Not when he just realized how much of an asshole he was for getting this worked up over two guys kissing. He couldn’t hold back a sob and the knocking stopped.

 

Seunghyun let out the breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding — only to clam up again when he heard someone move things aside in their shared walk-in closet and then Jiyong was suddenly in front of him. He had changed into a pair of sweats and another one of Seunghyun‘s t-shirts and Seunghyun didn’t know how he felt about that — previously he had thought it was adorable how small looked in his things, but now? He could still see Jiyong with his tongue down the guy‘s throat and it killed him.

 

Jiyong carefully came closer until he kneeled down in front of where Seunghyun was sitting — his voice was low and careful. “I sent him home — I didn‘t know you were coming home today, I am sorry and I am also sorry for saying that. I shouldn’t have just assumed you’d be out again — this _is our shared apartment_ after all.“

 

Seunghyun simply stared into his glass. He didn’t know what he should say, he didn’t know what he _could_ possibly say right now — _Hey, Jiyong. I just realized that I am a fucking homophobe and that I actually can't stand it whenever you kiss a guy so please take your gay business to somewhere else from now on, k thanks bye._

 

Yeah, no.

 

The tears come back and within a few seconds he is a sobbing mess — he can feel Jiyong wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, but he‘s crying too hard for it to actually make a difference. It’s the thought that counts, but right now he is so confused he doesn’t even know if he can fully appreciate Jiyong trying to calm him down. How could he do that if Seunghyun apparently hated a part of him?

 

He only cried harder and harder when Jiyong suddenly pulled him into a tight hug and everything got a little bit too much to bear in that moment — his chest suddenly started to feel tight, as if someone was dropping a shit ton of bricks on them, his fingers started to feel numb, as well as his toes and he just needed to get out.

 

Seunghyun mumbled a quick ‘sorry‘ before he pushed Jiyong away, unlocked the door and went straight to their balcony — he needed fresh air and as soon as he stepped outside he took deep breaths, but it only seemed to make it worse so he held in his breath for a moment. It was so incredibly hard with all the tears in his eyes, but after what felt like hours he finally managed to breath more or less normally again and the sheer panic that had flooded his system only a few seconds ago finally vanished again.

 

He slid down the cold wall and sat down on the floor — he felt utterly exhausted. His limbs felt as if they were made out of stone and his eyes burned — he reached for his pack of smokes he had left on the balcony that morning and lightened up a cigarette. Seunghyun was so lost in his thoughts that at first he didn‘t even realize Jiyong was sitting on the ground a bit away from him — watching him with a worried expression on his face.

 

“You know, you can talk to me, right?“

 

Seunghyun took another shaky drag from the cigarette. This felt like the most terrible déjà-vu.

 

“I know, but this isn’t something you can help me with. I‘ll have to work through this one alone.“ — it felt like a cruel joke. Jiyong had used the same words not too long ago when Seunghyun had offered him to speak about whatever had been bothering him and he had hated that Jiyong didn’t seem to want to talk to Seunghyun about it — yet, here he was. Using the same bullshit excuse.

 

But how could he possibly say anything about this to Jiyong? He didn’t want to hurt his friend even more than he probably already had. Was that why he had reacted that badly to Jiyong having that guy over a while back? Had that been the reason why he had acted like such an asshole?

 

Fuck, now it all made sense.

 

Jiyong sighed. “If you ever want to talk about it, _I am here for you_ — okay? I worry about you a lot these days and I know we have been fighting a lot, but I really mean it when I say that I care about you and want you to be okay.“

 

Seunghyun felt his throat close up again and he took another drag of his cigarette.

 

He only managed a small nod.

 

Jiyong seemed to understand that there was no use in talking to him about anything right now, because there was no way Seunghyun would talk about anything right now. He just wanted to feel like shit right now, pity himself because of his new-found homophobia and he just wanted to help himself a little bit. How could he be such an asshole?

 

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Jiyong getting up and walking back inside their apartment, only to come back out again with a huge blanket in his hands. He wordlessly draped it over Seunghyun and walked back inside.

 

Now Seunghyun felt even more like an utter piece of shit.

 

Jiyong _worried_ about him, even brought him a fucking blanket so he wouldn’t get cold, while he sat outside fucking pitying himself for being a huge jerk. This was twisted. His head hurt again and flicked away the butt of the cigarette, lightened up another one right away. How could he possibly face Jiyong from now on? Was that the end of their friendship? Seunghyun felt sick only thinking like that — he didn’t want to kick Jiyong out of his life like that. He knew he would fucking miss his roommate so there had to be another way — he had to figure out how to overcome his homophobia and, instead of feeling angry, would start to feel happy for his friend finally having a boyfriend. Or whatever that guy was to Jiyong.

 

Seunghyun reached down into his pocket and took out his phone. He really needed to talk to someone about this who wasn’t Jiyong, someone who would help him and actually give him advice on this mess and not straight up hit him in the face with a bat. He looked through his contacts — should he call Jonas? No, Friday was family night — same for Mark. Matt wouldn’t be the best option either, because he didn’t want to hurt yet another queer friend so maybe Dongwook? Daesung was probably asleep already and Youngbae would spill everything to Jiyong within seconds for sure and he wasn’t ready for that.

 

So Dongwook it was — he clicked on the contact and dialled his number.

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay — Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You are _what_?“

 

Dongwook, bless his soul, had really been so kind to drive over to his apartment, pick him up and drive back to his own apartment so they could talk in peace. Seunghyun had taken a seat on the floor, his back to the couch and nursing on his drink. He suddenly felt small as Dongwook glared down at him with disbelieve in his eyes.

 

“A homophobe.“

 

Dongwook scoffed. “Care to elaborate that matter a little bit? Because the last time I checked you lived with a _very openly gay man_ and were even friends with him — and not just friends, but _really good friends_. Why the hell do you think you are a homophobe all of a sudden? I just don’t get it.“

 

Seunghyun sighed heavily and let his head fall into his hands — he was tired, but he really needed advice. Besides, not like he would be able to sleep anyways.

 

“It‘s just — I saw Jiyong with a guy. I mean, I saw him before with a guy, but this was different.“

 

“Different, how?“

 

Seunghyun fiddled with his glass, suddenly feeling nervous. “They were sitting on the couch making out and Jiyong was only in his underwear and well, I walked in on them without meaning to. I suddenly felt really sick and got angry and then snapped at Jiyong and I don’t know — I can’t get the image of Jiyong and that guy out of my head and it‘s making me sick. I never thought of myself as a homophobe, but maybe my grandma‘s believes rubbed off on me and —“

 

He suddenly felt a dull pain at the back of his head and he looked up at Dongwook, who had just hit him against the back of his hand with his opened hand, with a confused expression on his face.

 

“You are such an incredible moron, it is unbelievable. How can someone as smart as you be this fucking dumb — can you explain that to me? Have you always been that slow?“

 

Seunghyun was even more confused as he had been before — what was Dongwook talking about?

 

“Huh?“

 

Dongwook suddenly looked as if he was going to throw the coffee table in his face any given moment now and Seunghyun started to doubt that talking to Dongwook might have been a good idea. He gulped.

 

Meanwhile Dongwook took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, before he slid down the couch too and sat down in front of Seunghyun with a stern look on his face.

 

“Okay, Seunghyun, I am going to be straightforward with you now — has it ever occurred to you that you maybe are not disgusted by Jiyong kissing another man because it is two men that are kissing, but because it is _Jiyong_ who is kissing someone else?“

 

“Huh?“

 

Dongwook closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling again before he opened them again. “You are such an idiot — have you ever thought about the fact that you are simply _jealous_?“

 

Wait, what? That didn’t make sense. “Why would I be jealous of Jiyong — I mean, sure he is good looking and is currently getting more action than I am, but that doesn’t mean that I am jealous of hi—“

 

“Not _of him_ you bloody imbecile—“ Okay, _now_ Dongwook _really_ looked as if he was going to smash his skull in with his bare hands and Seungyhyung pushed himself further into the couch.

 

“Maybe you are jealous, because you don’t want Jiyong to give that kind of attention to someone else. Maybe you are jealous because you actually _like_ Jiyong _more as a friend_ and want that attention to be directed at _you_ and not someone else!“

 

“Now that is simply ridiculous. I am not gay and—“

 

But then he stopped.

 

His first reaction definitely was a big _no_ — he was straight. Always had been and never had looked at another guy that way, never felt the urge to do so (but then again all the guys in his hometown were homophobic pricks that loved Trump).

 

But then his mind started to wander — he thought back to the moment he had first seen Jiyong; he had noticed him right away — the bright hair, the extraordinary fashion style and the way his whole aura just _screamed attention._ And his thoughts didn’t just stop there — he hadn’t freaked out when Jiyong had touched his chest when they first tried to act like a couple, he hadn’t freaked out when Jiyong had hugged him tightly — hell, he had even thought about how nice Jiyong smelled and that he was an excellent hugger. Or the times they had ended up cuddling on the couch with Jiyong pressed against his side with his face buried in his neck — or how he absolutely loved spending time with Jiyong, too. There had never been someone as extraordinary as Jiyong before — never before had someone just walked into his life that easily who he had been _this_ comfortable with.

 

He also had to think back to how he had _noticed_ Jiyong‘s legs and how sweet he had thought it always was when Jiyong kissed his cheek — and then he had to think back to all the times where he had felt sick.

 

The very first time had been when he had seen Jiyong with his ex and he had stopped said asshole from assaulting Jiyong.

 

The next time had been when that asshole dude had hit on him and he had simply grabbed Jiyong, asking him to dance with him and Jiyong had accepted.

 

After that it had been the time when he had seen Jiyong with his current boy toy at the club, kissing him for the first time — it had felt like a punch in the gut and back then he had always thought it was because of the alcohol.

 

But now it made sense.

 

Now it finally made sense why he felt so sick when Jiyong talked about fucking some other guy, or when he stayed away from their flat for a night. Not it finally made sense why he had reacted almost violently the two times Jiyong‘s guy had been over.

 

It all made fucking sense and everything hit him at once.

 

He liked Jiyong.

 

He _liked_ Jiyong.

 

Fuck that, like wasn’t strong enough.

 

The way he felt whenever Jiyong was close to him was more than just like.

 

This was more than just a simply crush or infatuation — he was in love.

 

He was in love with a man and it scared the shit out of him.

 

Not because Jiyong was a man, but because it was _Jiyong_. The man who was now seeing someone else — the man who he lived with and who would most likely bring over his boyfriend more often than not and there was no way he could deny Jiyong that happiness.

 

“Hey, big guy — it‘s okay.“

 

Just that it wasn’t.

 

With helpless eyes he looked up at his friend. “Wookie, what should I do — he is seeing someone and, and I just —“

 

Dongwook smiled at him sadly, sympathy written all across his face.

 

“I don‘t know Jiyong well enough and I don‘t know how serious he is with that guy, I can only tell you that you two have a hell of a chemistry. It‘s cute and maybe there is more to it — but I know you by now pretty well and you will probably have a breakdown about all of this again during the next few days so here is my advice; take some time off to really think about this. Maybe talk to Jiyong a bit, too — I am sure he is worried about you just leaving in the middle of the night like that. You don’t have to tell him that you like _him_ , but you can tell him that you have feelings for a man and that they confuse you — I‘m sure he will help you with that a bit.“

 

Seunghyun pushed the short strands of his hair out of his face and rubbed over his eyes — shit he felt exhausted. Maybe taking some time off really was the best idea.

 

“Okay.“

 

Dongwook smiled.

 

“Do you want to tell Mark, or should I do it?“

 

Seunghyun groaned. Mark was going to rip him a new one if he told him he would use some of his vacation days — but then again he had been the only one who had always stayed late during the past two months so Mark could go suck a dick if he would throw a fit at him. “No worries, I will tell him.“

 

“Alright — do you wanna crash here or do you want me to drive you home?“

 

* * *

 

  

When he walks back into their apartment, Jiyong is still awake and sitting in the living room — has he been waiting for Seunghyun? He immediately perks up at seeing Seunghyun and eagerly walks up to him as Seunghyun slowly walks further into the room.

 

“Where have you been? Are you feeling better now? Are you okay?“

 

Seunghyun hates how his heart immediately goes crazy and now he finally realized that the twist and turns his stomach always made were actually butterflies and he suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed at the whole situation.

 

He gulped heavily. “I just — I needed to talk to someone. I know you offered, but I just needed to hear someone‘s opinion who I wasn’t that close with so I called Dongwook; he picked me up, we talked and I finally realized a few things.“

 

“What things?“

 

His heart was pounding so hard in his chest it felt like it was going to give out any given moment. Jiyong — lovely, adorable, cute Jiyong — was right in front of him; his whole attention solely on _him_ and not on some random douchebag.

 

He could tell him right now.

 

He could tell him everything.

 

But he just couldn’t — not yet, this was too fresh. He needed some time to think this through, to let things settle in. This was new for him and he just needed some more time.

 

“I can’t tell you just yet — it‘s, it‘s kind of a big thing for me and to be honest I am really tired right now. I‘m sorry that I just ran out like that and that I made you worry about me. It was stupid.“

 

“No, it wasn’t. You needed some space, I get that.“

 

Jiyong was still looking at him with this adorable look on his face and Seunghyun felt himself falter.  

 

“If it is not too much to ask — could I get a hug? This is probably awkward, but I could really use a—“, he couldn’t even finish his sentence, before Jiyong had thrown his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Jiyong was standing on his tip-toes, his chin resting on Seunghyun‘s shoulder, before he buried his face in his neck like he always did and simply _held onto him_ and Seunghyun felt as if he was finally a whole being again.

 

The past few weeks there had been something missing, there had been something tearing him up and he finally understood what it was and Jiyong hugging him made him feel whole again — he wrapped his arms around the younger man‘s small waist and bruised his face in his shoulder, too. Jiyong‘s body was so warm — both hard and soft at the same time. He could feel his chest pressed against his own and Seunghyun simply stood there, soaking in this moment.

 

He would talk to Jiyong, eventually.

 

But right now all he needed was a hug from his favourite person.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, writing slow burn in this one was SO MUCH FUN! 
> 
> But at the same time I wanted to throw something haha 
> 
> I love our boys so much, sigh.
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter as well!


	3. three

The thing was — now Seunghyun knew what was going on, but he had no idea how to approach this mess. For all he knew Jiyong was happily seeing Douche Dude so there were two possibilities; he would confess and Jiyong would feel flattered but in the end tell him he already is seeing someone _or_ he would tell him that he is seeing someone and not feel flattered but trapped and uncomfortable, because they lived together and living together with someone who has a crush on you while you don’t like them like that could get _really_ awkward.

 

Then there was the possibility that maybe, just _maybe_ Jiyong wasn’t really happy with Douche Dude and that he was just seeing him to get some action again after some time — but then there were still the two possibilities of the prior scenario, only that Jiyong would then have to deal with two dudes crushing on him and that would be too much to handle.

 

The last option to this scenario was that Jiyong was unhappy with the guy he was seeing now and that he actually really liked Seunghyun too — or at least could see them dating and maybe just take it from there. They were good friends, they got along well and they were a great team, too — so maybe, even if Jiyong didn’t like him right now, he could maybe start to like him once he knew that Seunghyun was bi (or whatever label there was out there that fit him).

 

— but all of this required him to come out to Jiyong and that made him so nervous he felt like throwing up. He hadn’t talked to anyone else but Dongwook about him liking a guy and he was glad that he had picked him — Dongwook was probably the only one who wouldn’t spill it immediately. Kyungil loved gossip, Mark was just terrible about secrets because he often forgot something was a secret and spilled it — same for Jonas. He also couldn’t talk to Daesung, because as much as he loved his friend, that guy sometimes had he empathy level of a stone and it also felt so much harder to come out to his best childhood friend than coming out to his new found friends — which was also why Youngbae wasn’t an option just yet.

 

Coming out was stressful and he didn’t feel ready to come out just yet.

 

But that meant that he would have to deal with Jiyong seeing that Douche Dude in the meantime — though there was a possibility of him having to deal with that for a long time from now on anyways, because if he didn’t like him back there was no way he was going to dump Douche Dude.

 

So he just kept quiet and tried not to throw something when Douche Dude suddenly stood in his living room.

 

Ever since that night where Seunghyun had asked for a hug things had become a little bit easier between them again — it had been a slow progress, but they finally managed to goof around and have fun together like before; the only thing Seunghyun still had an issue with was Douche Dude, but Jiyong always managed to not bring him up.

 

But now that asshole was in _their_ apartment — Jiyong had told him they would leave soon, that he only had to take a quick shower and change into something else and then they would be gone, but it was still enough to set Seunghyun off.

 

He didn’t even knew the guy‘s name and he was happy about that — he just called him Douche Dude, or Mr. Asshole (tho that almost seemed too formal).

 

Seunghyun was ignoring him — back turned to him as he tinkered away in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables for dinner — but he still could feel Douche Dude glaring daggers at the back of his head; what the fuck was his problem?

 

He turned around, throwing the vegetables in the pan on the stove on the kitchen island and when he had everything settled he finally looked up — two could play the game. If Douche Dude wanted to glare at him he better prepared himself to lose in this glare battle, because if Seunghyun knew something it was that his gaze could feel intimidating — his sharp eyes and angry looking eyebrows, as well as the sharp cut of his jawline worked their wonders. Even on Douche Dude, who suddenly looked away and pretended to be busy on his phone.

 

A smirk tugged at Seunghyun‘s lips.

 

“Alright — just let me grab a few things and then I am ready to go.“

 

Jiyong had finally emerged from the bathroom — hair styled, make-up on and Seunghyun‘s jaw nearly dropped when he saw the outfit he was wearing. He looked utterly amazing — not that Douche Dude would appreciate a beauty like Jiyong; that ass just stared at his phone, not sparing Jiyong a look. Was he blind?

 

“Ohh, you are cooking? What are you making?“

 

“You know, the typical ‘I need to eat more vegetables so I throw everything into a pan and hope it will taste better that way‘ thing.“

 

Jiyong was by his side within an heartbeat, looking at what Seunghyun was preparing with big eyes. “Your food always tastes amazing, even if it’s vegetables — you even got _me_ to eat more healthy, _that‘s_ how good your cooking is.“

 

Seunghyun couldn’t help but grin at that — the butterflies going wild in his stomach. Jiyong looked so good and he was so close and he could smell the cologne he was wearing and he was pretty sure it actually was one of his own, but it didn’t matter. It smelled ten times better on Jiyong anyway, because it perfectly mixed with his own scent.

 

“You are just easily bribed — that’s it. Prepare something and put it onto a fancy plate with a good sauce and you are sold. It’s your inner diva wanting to enjoy extravagant things in life.“

 

Jiyong‘s nose wrinkled as he started to laugh in that really adorable way and then he swatted Seunghyun against the chest, still giggling. “Oh, shut up. Learn to take a compliment you idiot.“ His smile was big — matching Jiyong‘s.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jiyong‘s date getting impatient — he was bouncing his leg and glaring at the both of them, but Jiyong didn’t seem to notice; he took his time making sure that he had everything with him and Seunghyun couldn’t help but watch him — he looked too breath-taking right now.

 

Too bad that his staring caused his hand to slip and writhing a second he had managed to cut into his own hand — he yelped in pain and suddenly there was blood. He cursed and frantically tried to find something to stop the bleeding — what kind of idiot managed to cut directly into the palm of his hand? Shit, it really hurt.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.“

 

Seunghyun quickly grabbed one of the dish towels to wrap his hand up, but Jiyong was already all over him — “Oh, god are you okay?“

 

He could only whine desperately as he tried to ignore the blood spilling all over his hand — he couldn’t stand the sight of blood, not at all and the throbbing pain in his hand didn’t make it any easier.

 

“Hold on —“ Jiyong was gone for a moment and back the next, their emergency kit in hand. He carefully took Seunghyun‘s injured hand in his own, took a closer look at the wound, before applying more pressure to the cut directly. Seunghyun hissed at the pain and Jiyong could only look at him with an apologetic smile on his lips. “It‘s gonna feel better soon — don‘t worry.“

 

Seunghyun desperately wanted to believe him, because if he saw any more blood he was sure he would faint.

 

After what seemed like hours, the bleeding apparently finally stopped and Jiyong made Seunghyun sit down on the couch after shooing his date aside (if Seunghyun wasn’t in pain and close to fainting he would have laughed at that). Jiyong worked quickly — took off the towel and dipped a cotton ball in alcohol to disinfect the wound. It stung like a bitch, but Jiyong holding onto his hand with soft touches, while rubbing soothing circles into the back of his hand made it all worth it.

 

He put aside the cotton ball and the alcohol and dug through their kit, finally finding what he was looking for — first, he put a huge band aid over the cut —making sure that the wound would stay closed for now — and then he carefully wrapped Seunghyun‘s hand up. “You really shouldn’t move your hand much, better not at all if possible for at least today and tomorrow. I am no expert, but I think you need stitches — you cut onions with the knife and it looks like you managed to cut into the fat tissues. We better wrap this up as good as possible and hold your hand above your heart level, it will help stop the bleeding.“

 

He was still holding onto Seunghyun‘s hand and Seunghyun felt his heartbeat go crazy. Partly, because _Jiyong was holding his damn hand_ and partly, because he really hated hospitals and everything related to it.

 

“Is this going to take much longer? Jiyong you _know_ that I hate sitting around doing nothing — you took care of that cut and he can go alone; can we leave now?“

 

Seunghyun never wanted to punch anyone as bad as Douche Dude right now and it probably showed on his face, because Douche Dude looked a lot smaller once he saw Seunghyun glaring at him.

 

Or maybe it was because of Jiyong — his whole body had tensed up, but on his face was an angelic smile and for some reason it send a shudder down Seunghyun‘s spine and not in a good way.

 

“Hey Seunghyun, why don‘t you go and get your jacket and then we can leave.“

 

Seunghyun wasn’t stupid — this definitely was one of those moments were as soon as he left the room someone was going to get their head ripped off, and in this case it would be Douche Dude. He couldn’t fight the small smile that spread over his lips.

 

“Sure.“

 

— and he was right, as soon as he closed the door behind him he could hear muffled voices. Muffled, but _raised_ voices — they were arguing and Seunghyun shouldn’t be this entertained about it, but he was. Sue him, he had a ridiculously huge crush on Jiyong it was only human that he would feel a little bit of _Schadenfreude._

 

Another minute passed, the front door slammed and there was some rustling in the kitchen — he carefully looked out of the bathroom to see if Douche Dude had left, and he was right. The only other person in the apartment was Jiyong, who was now sitting with a cigarette between his lips on the couch, obviously pissed off.

 

Now he felt bad — this right here was why he didn’t want Jiyong to get involved with that asshole, he knew he was trouble as soon as he crashed into him in the elevator — no, he knew as soon as he saw him at the club hitting on Jiyong and that was not only his jealousy speaking.

 

He carefully walked up to Jiyong.

 

“Everything alright?“

 

Jiyong sniffed. “Yeah, ready to go?“

 

Seunghyun nodded — with Jiyong‘s help he managed to put on his shoes. Their trip to the hospital was kind of an adventure; while they only needed fifteen or so minutes to reach the hospital, it took about an hour until they finally had time for Seunghyun and when he finally was about to receive the stitches he felt like bolting.

 

Jiyong had simply grabbed his other hand and had dragged him into the room were the doctor was already waiting for them and didn‘t let go of his hand when said doctor started to stitch up his wound. — it hurt, but Jiyong managed to keep his mind off the pain by telling him about all the clients he had during the past two weeks and there had been quite a few interesting ones.

 

When the doctor was finally done Jiyong suddenly played 20 questions with her — asking her if there was anything they needed to keep in mind, or should do to make sure that the cut wouldn’t get infected or that it would not open up aga and Seunghyun could see the clocks in Jiyong‘s head work when she told him in great detail what to do.

 

They were finally at home three hours after Seunghyun had cut his hand and he just wanted to take a nap — Hospitals always stressed him out — but then he saw Jiyong sitting down on the couch with a sad look on his face and a wine bottle and glass next to him.

 

His roommate wasn’t really looking at him, but took an gulp from the glass and curled himself up in a ball on the couch — if he wouldn’t look so sad right now he would say that Jiyong looked utterly adorable. A heavy sigh left his lips as he sat down next to Jiyong on the couch and wordlessly pulled him up against his own chest with his healthy hand and Jiyong immediately melted against him.

 

“You were right, he is an asshole.“

 

For some reason he didn’t feel happiness when Seunghyun heard these words. He simply pulled Jiyong closer to his own body, letting his hand rub up and down Jiyong‘s back and the younger one let a pleased sigh slip from his lips.

 

“I missed this.“

 

Seunghyun‘s heart suddenly felt like it was about to explode — Jiyong had missed _what_? “What did you miss?“, but Jiyong simply curled up closer to Seunghyun, letting one of his arms slip around his torso and one of his legs rest on Seunghyun‘s hip.

 

He was about to push for more, but then he saw that Jiyong had already closed his eyes with a gentle smile on his lips — even though he was wearing dark makeup he still looked like an angel. His chubby cheeks, cute nose and full lips looked amazing and Seunghyun was so close he could count each one of Jiyong‘s eyelashes.

 

It didn’t even take a handful of seconds and he could hear Jiyong‘s even breathing — he had fallen asleep, how cute.

 

But the couch definitely wasn’t a good place to sleep at, which was why he tired to carefully lift the other man up. It was way more complicated than anticipated, duo to Seunghyun‘s injured hand, but he eventually managed to carry Jiyong to his room and lay him down on his own bed — _without_ ramming Jiyong‘s precious head against the doorframe.

 

He was about to leave when he noticed that the pants Jiyong was wearing looked absolutely uncomfortable and without thinking he quickly undid the fly and started to pull down his pants. Seunghyun only fully realized what he was doing when he had already pulled Jiyong‘s pants down over the swell of his ass and his whole face turned red — whatever, he already got so far might as well finish it. Besides, sleeping in skin-tight leather pants definitely couldn’t be comfortable.

 

He quickly (or as quickly as  he possibly could with his injured hand) pulled Jiyong‘s pants down, folded them and placed them on the dresser not far from his bed. The shirt Jiyong was wearing had a wide collar and seemed comfortable enough to wear so he figured it wasn’t that bad to keep him in it — the only thing he wasn’t sure about was his makeup. His sister had more than once told him about the importance of always taking off your makeup before going to bed and he just knew that Jiyong would hate it if he fell asleep with smoky eyes and eyeliner.

 

When they first had moved in together, Jiyong had been so tired he had fallen asleep on the couch as soon as his ass connected with the soft cushion, while wearing makeup. Not only had he whined about ruining one of the couch cushions with makeup stains that consisted of waterproof eyeliner and concealer, but also whined about having to scrub the makeup off his skin and that it would be irritated for the next week for sure and that he would need all the moisturizer in the world to save his skin (which was a _tiny_ bit overdramatizes, but it was Jiyong so Seunghyun simply had rolled his eyes at his flatmate‘s behaviour with a smile on his lips).

 

After a short trip to the bathroom he came back with one of these makeup removal like baby wipes — he had no idea what they were actually called — and the moisturizer thing Jiyong always put on his face before going to bed. He tried to remove the makeup as carefully as possible, but Jiyong was fast asleep anyways so even if he applied a bit more pressure the other one surely wouldn’t wake up — at least he hoped so. But then he didn’t even wake up when Seunghyun had to rub a little bit harder to get the eyeliner off, nor did he wake up when he put a little bit of moisturizer on his face.

 

Seunghyun smiled to himself. Mission accomplished.

 

He was still leaning over Jiyong when the younger man suddenly grabbed the hand that was still close to Jiyong‘s face and he hugged it to his chest.

 

Damnit.

 

Seunghyun tried to carefully pull his arm back, but Jiyong started to whine loudly and simply held onto his hand even harder, before he rolled around making Seunghyun stumble forward and nearly collapse on the bed.

 

Okay, fine. He was not going to be able to get his arm back unless he wanted Jiyong to wake up — seemed like he had no other choice but to lay down next to him, no big deal. Totally fine. Really.

 

Just that it was a big deal and Seunghyun felt like a bumbling virgin all over again as he slid into bed next to Jiyong and he was a ball of pure nerves when Jiyong ended up cuddling against his chest once again throwing his arm and leg around him, hugging him like an octopus. Did Jiyong always sleep like that? Hugging someone this tight? Not that Seunghyun was complaining, not at all, he was simply curious about what Jiyong was like when he dated someone. Was he as affectionate as he always was? Was he a romantic type of guy? — Though he was already sure of that; with Jiyong watching all these damn k dramas and even getting Seunghyun hooked on them he surely had to have a really soft spot for romance related things (plus he once found a secret stash of romance novels under Jiyong‘s bed when he had been looking for something. Jiyong had pretended to play dumb, that they belonged to his sister who had forgotten them at his old place when she had been over ages ago — but then he found Jiyong fast asleep a week or so later on the couch with his nose buried deep inside the book).

 

There were suddenly a thousand other things that came to his mind when connecting the two words ‘Jiyong‘ and ‘dating‘, and it made Seunghyun‘s heart race.

 

He sighed — he totally wouldn’t get much sleep that night.

 

* * *

 

 

When they had woken up the next day, things had shifted back to how things had been before Jiyong met Douche Dude in almost an heartbeat and this time Seunghyun had a feeling that it would be like that for good. Jiyong was being his usually clingy, but adorable self and Seunghyun ended up guiding Jiyong through how to actually make really good pancakes and not burn them and this time Jiyong could not simply whine until Seunghyun would take over, because Seunghyun‘s hand was obviously still injured and making pancakes and breakfast with just one hand was a pain in the ass.

 

He actually managed pretty well and Seunghyun once again had the feeling that the younger one simply always told him that he sucked at cooking, even though he was pretty decent at it for the mere reason that Seunghyun would be the one to cook for him. — he didn’t know why though, but he didn’t feel like asking. He enjoyed cooking for his friend so he just went along with whatever Jiyong wanted.

 

Work was a bit of a pain too for the next three or four days — thankfully he had only hurt his left and not right hand so he was able to use the mouse just fine, but typing things out were kind of impossible. Seunghyun still tried his best.

 

Jiyong had also started to show mother hen tendencies — he would get up with Seunghyun in the morning just to check his hand; replacing the band aids and making sure that it was healing properly and that it stayed dry, then he would wrap his hand carefully.

 

He did the same whenever they came back from work.

 

Seunghyun wasn’t going to complain — it was incredibly cute and it always made his heart flutter how extremely careful Jiyong was being when unwrapping his hand or pulling of the band aid.

 

After the first day, Jiyong cleaned the area around the wound with fresh water twice a day — after that, he would put Vaseline over the wound in a thin layer and carefully wrap it up again.

 

He almost started to miss it when Jiyong didn’t have to wrap his hand anymore after the first week.

 

He still made sure to check the wound twice a day if it was healing properly so that was nice.

 

* * *

 

 

It was another Sunday afternoon and the two of them sat outside on the balcony — it was way too hot to think, but Jiyong had still convinced Seunghyun that now would be the perfect time to play another round of chess; he had even prepared margaritas. How could he say no to that?

 

Jiyong might suck in the kitchen when it came to cooking things, but as soon as it was about drinks — especially alcoholic ones — he was a king. Seunghyun was spoiled for life for anyone else‘s drinks, because Jiyong‘s were just _that_ good and now Seunghyun was already at his second glass and he just loved this drink a lot more than he originally thought he would.

 

Every now and then there would be a cold, refreshing breeze and mixed with the cold drinks it was perfect — Seunghyun could hear the faint music coming from the living room and together with Jiyong‘s carefree laughter it was the best thing ever. He didn’t even really know what Jiyong was laughing about now — the joke he had just told him wasn’t even that funny, but Jiyong seemed happy and he really liked to see Jiyong‘s gummy smile so it was a win/win situation for both. Jiyong was feeling good and Seunghyun could enjoy Jiyong‘s happy face.

 

“Now you are the one who is trying to distract me with your cheap jokes — just so you know, I won‘t get fooled that easily!“, Seunghyun snorted into his glass. Jiyong was lying through his teeth right now and they both knew it — maybe it was the heat, maybe the drinks or maybe Seunghyun‘s humour for real, but Jiyong was losing this round and they both knew it.

 

“Or maybe you finally have to admit that my pure genius finally managed to bully you into submission — you were way too full of yourself anyways, it was about time that you lost!“

 

Jiyong cackled again. “Maybe I just have to ask you way too personal sex-related questions for you to lose again! It worked last time, so why not this time around, too? Any juicy details you might want to share Mr. Choi?“

 

“There isn’t much I could possible tell you.“

 

“Oh really? What about that girl from the club a while back? You seemed to be into her a lot?“

 

Oh? Seunghyun hadn’t even realized that Jiyong had gotten wind of that — not that there was anything going on with him and that girl; he had totally forgotten about her by now anyways, plus kissing her hadn’t really excited him. (Which should have been another indicator for him that he was maybe a little bit more into Jiyong than just as a friend, but oh well better late than never, right?)

 

“I was drunk and to be honest I don‘t really like hooking up — I mean, other people can do what they want, but it‘s not something I really enjoy.“

 

Jiyong perked up at that, a surprised look on his face as he took another sip from his drink. “You don‘t?“

 

Seunghyun shook his head, his cheeks suddenly feeling warm and his heart picking up a beat or two. “No — to be honest I have never had sex outside of a relationship before and, I know this sounds lame, but I don‘t really plan on having sex outside of a relationship any time soon. I am just not really comfortable with that, you know.“

 

He could feel Jiyong’s eyes on him and his blush deepened even more. “Go on, laugh at me for being this old-fashioned. I deserve it.“, but Jiyong did nothing of that sort.

 

Instead, he immediately shook his head and set his drink down. “No, no, no — that’s not it! It‘s just — unexpectedly sweet? Like, we have been living together for almost, what, half a year now so I should have probably realized that by now, but — don‘t get me wrong — you kinda like look like someone who is getting some on a regular basis?“

 

Seunghyun wasn’t sure how Jiyong meant that. “Thank you?“

 

“Ugh, no I didn‘t mean it however you took it. I just — you are really good looking, and funny, extremely sweet, too. I‘m just surprised that girls aren’t over you all the damn time and that you are not making the best out of that— not that you would, it‘s just- Jesus. I better stop talking now, I probably sound like an asshole.“, Jiyong‘s cheeks suddenly turned red as well and Seunghyun could only laugh. His roommate was so adorable without even trying to and it was kinda sweet how worked up he was getting over this — and Seunghyun started to feel all giddy and happy inside when he heard how kindly Jiyong spoke about him. Was that really how Jiyong saw him?

 

He had never really given much thought to it what he came across like, but getting told by your crush that you were funny, good looking, and sweet definitely boosted your ego and it made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. Seunghyun shyly looked down and played with his glass, suddenly not knowing where to look — shit, what if Jiyong caught him blushing?

 

“You don‘t sound like an asshole, it‘s actually really nice to hear that you think all that of me. The last time I dated, it didn’t end well and my ex didn’t really push my self-confidence after our break-up. It‘s more than just good to hear that I am not a complete monster.“

 

Jiyong immediately reached for his free hand, a hurt and also sympathetic look on his face. “I don’t know your ex, but I can assure you that you are nothing like what she told you you are like. You are the sweetest man I have ever met, and I am sure that someday you will make a girl really happy by being her boyfriend.“

 

— or by being your boyfriend, _please_?

 

Seunghyun had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling — was this flirting? Was that how guys flirted with each other? Or was Jiyong just being his affectionate, sweet self that wanted to make sure that his friend was not feeling down because of some ex he dated years and years ago. It was confusing and it frustrated Seunghyun so all he could do in the end was squeeze Jiyong‘s hand and return the warm smile.

 

He totally lost that round of chess as well.

 

* * *

 

 

With summer right around the corner Seunghyun‘s team got less busy — they had finished their huge project on time and these days they mostly worked on small things on their own; commissions for other groups, some slight touch-ups — stuff like that, which meant that Seunghyun could clock out an hour earlier than normally and he would make good use of that. Just three blocks down from where they lived a new ice cream shop had opened up and Seunghyun was dying to go there — especially now when he was basically sweating his own bodyweight every day (he was never really good with handling hot weather).

 

But before he went there he wanted to take a nice, cold shower and change into more comfortable clothes than his usual work attire, that consisted of slacks, button down (and if their boss sometimes visited their department also a tie and a matching suit jacket, but that only ever happened so often so he mostly ignored that).

 

He walked into their flat — earbuds still blasting music because he was not entirely ready to stop listening to his favourite song just yet (otherwise he would have the same song stuck in his head for the rest of the day and a much as he loved German punk rock, it was really frustrating to have a song stuck in your head all day when it was sung in a language he did not understand — so finishing the song it was).

 

Seunghyun rushed into his room — Jiyong apparently wasn’t home yet, he hadn’t seen him and his own room was empty, which meant that he could take a nice, long shower before his roommate (and source of frustration* these days came home).

 

*It wasn’t particularly something Jiyong did that was frustrating him to no end — it was more about the way he dressed these days that ended up being frustrating. Jiyong, unlike Seunghyun, had no qualms about showing his body, especially if it was as hot as it was these days, which meant that as soon as he was at home he‘d slip into something more comfortable — which for him meant very _short_ shorts and tank tops that barely covered anything at all and Seunghyun had more than once caught himself staring at Jiyong‘s legs, or his collarbones, or at his ass whenever that little devil bend over to grab something from the other side of the table or whatever.

 

Once his mind had finally drawn the connection between Jiyong and him being Seunghyun‘s crush, there was no turning back. He suddenly got hyper aware of everything Jiyong did — how tight his jeans were, how nice his thighs looked, how much he enjoyed looking at his ass, the way his lean body moved whenever he blasted music and danced to it while tidying up their living room; basically there wasn’t anything he didn’t notice — he was just glad that Jiyong didn’t seem to notice anything about Seunghyun staring at him, because explaining that would be more than just awkward and he still hadn’t figured out how to confess to Jiyong or how to bring the whole topic of his new-found sexuality up in the first place.

 

To put it shortly, he was frustrated. Sexually frustrated.

 

He had taken more cold showers these days than he had when he was a teenager and he was low-key thankful for the warm weather, because he at least had an excuse for taking a shower once (or twice) a day without Jiyong getting suspicious.

 

Too bad that the universe seemed to test him.

 

Seunghyun had just grabbed a fresh set of clothes after stripping down to his boxer briefs and was heading to the bathroom — music still turned up — when the bathroom door got yanked open and Seunghyun collided with a very naked, and very surprised Jiyong, who nearly smacked him in the head with his own hands accidentally and managed to rip his earbuds out — he stumbled backwards, obviously trying to get away from Seunghyun, but slipped on the wet floor and Seunghyun was just fast enough to grab him so Jiyong‘s head wouldn’t knock against the hard tiles on the floor.

 

Seunghyun felt his heart pounding in his chest — partly, because of the shock of Jiyong suddenly appearing out of nowhere and also because now Jiyong was half in front and half under him while being completely naked and Seunghyun needed to scream at every muscle in his body not to freak out — or pop wood immediately because that would be more than just a bit awkward.

 

Jiyong seemed to be really embarrassed about the whole situation — he let himself get pulled up with Seunghyun‘s help but immediately reached for the towel that had fallen to the ground to cover himself up — Seunghyun‘s brain apparently had stopped working, because he barely registered the small ‘sorry‘ and  ‘thank you for catching me‘ from Jiyong before he hastily ran to his room. A few seconds passed, before the whole situation finally settled in and he could feel his whole body heat up — shit. He slammed the bathroom door shut, locked it and threw his fresh clothes on the counter and immediately stepped under the shower — Seunghyun felt a heavy wave of arousal hit him and he was hard within seconds, the imagine of Jiyong under him, completely naked with an adorable blush on his cheeks and skin looking delicious was too much.

 

As much as he had tried not to think of Jiyong whenever he jerked off the past few weeks, he miserably failed now — he could see it all too clearly, the way Jiyong would wrap his legs around his waist, the way his skin would heat up and how the blush would creep down from his cheeks to his neck and chest, god his _chest_. His nipples had been hard after taking a cold shower and he had just wanted to take them in his mouth and _suck_ , suck dark bruises into his neck and his chest — and his thighs and Seunghyun would have never thought he would say that, but even Jiyong‘s dick was pretty.

 

If he had any doubts about being attracted to Jiyong still because he was a man and had a dick, too, they all disappeared after seeing Jiyong naked. He literally wanted to suck every millimetre of skin, _especially_ his cock and it only took a few more pumps on his own dick and he came — hard. Seunghyun slapped his hand against the tiles of the wall, biting his lower lip as he tried to muffle every single sound he was making but it was hard, so hard, because _shit_ thinking about Jiyong while jacking off made it so much better and once he finally rode out his orgasm his legs and knees felt weak.

 

Shit, had he just really jacked off to Jiyong?

 

How on earth would he be able to face him ever again, without going up in flames?

 

Eventually, he did had to leave the bathroom, though. He couldn’t just live there from now on even if his anxiety told him otherwise — but it had never been a good idea to listen to that fucker, so he forced himself out of the bathroom and slipped into his own room to put on the rest of his fresh clothes. Five minutes later he walked into the living room only to see Jiyong sitting at the kitchen island — he had put on some clothes as well, baggy sweats and a loose fitting t shirt and his cheeks were flushed again from the heat (or maybe still flushed? Seunghyun couldn’t tell). He slowly approached his friend.

 

“Hey, Ji — I‘m gonna go down to the new ice cream shop, do you maybe want to come with me? Or do you want me to grab something for you? It‘s not even five minutes down the road, I‘m sure you have seen it on your way to work.“

 

“Uh, sure — I mean if you don‘t mind? I just —“, his cheeks were flaming red now and Seunghyun just wanted to kiss him, “I‘m sorry for, you know, running into you like that — I should have paid more attention, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable back there?“ — he awkwardly pointed towards the bathroom and Seunghyun felt his own cheeks heat up.

 

“Uh — no, no you didn’t. Besides, if someone has to apologize it is me — I didn‘t realize you were in the bathroom, I shouldn’t have listened to my music as loud as I did and you really don’t have to apologize.“

 

“So —“ Jiyong drew out the ‘o‘, shiny fiddling with the pen in his hand, “We good?“

 

Seunghyun chuckled. “Yeah, we are good. Now — do you want to come along? I‘m paying.“

 

Jiyong jumped up and was ready to go within half a second, almost dragging Seunghyun out of the door. How is it possible for someone to be this cute? He really didn’t know but if he thought Jiyong‘s childish enthusiasm was cute, then he got surprised by his cuteness once more when they arrived at the ice cream shop. He knew Jiyong was still a kid at heart, much like he was — hell, he worked on kids movies for a living and watched a shit ton of cartoons himself — but he was still surprised as he was amused by the fact when Jiyong ordered one of the kids ice cream cups. Tho he wasn’t better himself, because as soon as he saw that they had an unicorn ice cream cup he just _had_ to order it.

 

Both their decisions earned them an amused smile from the owner of the shop.

 

They ended up staying longer than planned, because they continued to steal each other‘s ice cream, which then ended with them buying another two cups of ice cream — this time Jiyong ordered spaghetti ice cream and Seunghyun the pirate themed one and Seunghyun was so happy that he proposed this idea, because for one the ice cream was utterly _delicious_ and for another, he got to spend time with Jiyong — who halfway through their second cup decided to feed him some of his own ice cream and that was enough to set his whole being on fire. Especially when Jiyong grabbed a napkin and quickly whipped some of the ice cream off the corners of Seunghyun‘s mouth.

 

Moments like these — Jiyong being tender and sweet and caring and so adorably cute that it almost hurt — were the ones where he started to wonder that maybe, just _maybe_ Jiyong did see in him more than just a friend; but there was still this voice in the back of his head that told him that Jiyong had always acted like that with him and that it was probably just his way of showing his friends that he loved them.

 

So he tried to soak up all of the affection Jiyong was giving out to him until he felt ready to finally talk to Jiyong about his crush — or sexuality.

 

Their at first playful ‘making each other taste ice cream‘ quickly escalated and ended with Seunghyun accidentally throwing a spoonful of ice cream in Jiyong‘s face — and he froze as soon as he saw what he had done. He knew Jiyong and he knew that he had a very bad temper from time to time, too and he already was ready to fall to his knees and apologize when Jiyong suddenly cracked and giggled like a kid. Seunghyun sighed in relief and tried to make up for his mistake by helping Jiyong clean his face, but the younger one simply shrugged him off and told him it was fine and that he simply would go to the bathroom real quick to freshen up.

 

Jiyong wasn’t even gone for two seconds when one of the waitresses came to their table and Seunghyun took the opportunity to pay, since he had a feeling that Jiyong would otherwise try to be the one to pay and he really did not want that to happen.

 

“I have to say, you two make _such_ a cute couple — I see a lot of couples, young and old, but the chemistry between you two is so sincere and carefree it's really refreshing!“

 

Seunghyun nearly choked on his own spit, his insides turning to mush and a nervous jittering in his voice. “Oh, it‘s not — we are not —!“

 

“Darling, we are in New York. You can date whoever you want here, no one will judge you.“

 

“Yes, I know! But, he and I — we are just roommates, you know?“

 

“Oh?“, the waitress looked surprise, “—but you too look so sweet together, I just thought that there would be more.“

 

Seunghyun flushed at that. “Well, I mean. I kinda _do_ like him — but we are just friends.“

 

“Are you sure about that?“

 

“Pardon?“

 

The waitress laughed at his clueless face and Seunghyun felt like a kid all of a sudden again. “Have you not seen the way he looks at you? I have rarely seen people who actually dated look at their significant other the way that boy looks at you — when you were looking through the menu, his eyes were practically glued to your face and he looked at you as if you were the ones who created the sun and the moon and everything else out there. It‘s adorable so yeah, I really do think that he sees in you more than a friend.“

 

“But he —“, Seunghyun had wanted to talk a little bit more to her, but then he saw Jiyong coming back from the rest room with a big smile on his lips and Seunghyun quickly paid for their ice cream, hushing a quick ‘thank you‘ at the waitress, who simply smiled at the both of them for a moment, before she left them alone again.

 

“Oh? I see you are already making friends with the staff? Planning to get free ice cream in the future?“ Seunghyun snorted.

 

“You know me so well, Jiyong — trying to charm women who are fifteen years older than me to get free ice cream, you have seen through my scheme and now I have to kill you.“ — he quickly reached an arm around Jiyong‘s neck and locked him in a lose headlock, rubbing his knuckles against his head, while Jiyong whaled with laughter, begging him to stop — out of the corner of his eyes Seunghyun could see the waitress still smirking at the two of them, maybe she did have a point?

 

He quickly pushed Jiyong out of the shop and eventually let go of him — his hair was now an absolute mess, but there was still that adorable gummy smile on his lips that Seunghyun had started to love and he just knew that he would never get sick and tired of making Jiyong laugh like that.

 

“God, you are just the worst roommate ever!“

 

“I know, I am _that much of an asshole_ for taking you out for free ice cream. How dare I.“ — Jiyong weakly pushed against his chest for that, his smile never wavering.

 

“Exactly — you better repay me with a few drinks next time we are out again.“

 

“Oh, really?“

 

“Yes, really.“

 

Seunghyun smirked again.

 

“Then how about we go grab some drinks later tonight?“

 

“If you feel up to that — we all know how much of a baby you are as soon as it gets a little bit warmer than at the North Pole.“

 

This time Seunghyun was the one who pushed Jiyong. “Not everyone enjoys baking in the sun like you do, what are you — cookie dough?“

 

“Is that your way of telling me that I am a snack?“

 

God, Jiyong was terrible and Seunghyun couldn’t hold back the unattractive snort that left him, before he started to cackle.

 

“Alright, alright — I‘ll pay for a few drinks, but just because it is you.“

 

“Perfect.“

 

* * *

 

It was a few hours later when the heat had finally died down a little bit and you didn’t feel like you were dying as soon as you stepped one foot out of your cooled down apartment (Seunghyun still cried happy tears about the fact that Jiyong had bought that damn AC when they moved in) that they decided to leave — Jiyong had called Youngbae, Daesung and Chaerin to see if they wanted to go, while Seunghyun had called Dongwook, Kyungil and the rest of his co-workers (tho by now they were more like close friends than co-workers).

 

Another hour, four outfit changes on Jiyong‘s behalf and two cans of beer later, Seunghyun and Jiyong finally left their apartment and were on their way to their usual bar. The streets were as busy as always, but they spent their time falling into easy conversation and discussing whether or not they should go watch the midnight special the cinema at the end of their street was hosting or not the following Sunday. Jiyong really wanted to go — they were showing the extended version of Schindler‘s List and while Seunghyun normally really loved to watch movies that had historical events (good or bad) as their main focus, he just _knew_ that he would sob like a baby throughout the whole movie and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, _especially_ if he had work the next day and his co-workers would tease him relentlessly if they knew that he had been crying because of a movie. — but he already felt himself give in. Whatever — he would survive the teasing, but he just couldn’t say no to Jiyong and his damn puppy eyes and how cute he looked when he got sulky and how he held onto to his arm, cuddling it to his chest and all that.

 

He was a simply, weak-minded man when it came to Jiyong and there was no chance of denying him anything.

 

The pair finally arrived at the bar, where Chaerin and Youngbae were already waiting them at their usual booth — Daesung and Dongwook were busy getting their drinks and the rest of the gang would probably come and join them within the next hour or so.

 

“Oh, the love birds have finally arrived! How are things going?“ — Dongwook wasn’t even back for 0.4 seconds and Seunghyun already wanted to smother him; he just prayed that Jiyong wouldn’t ask what that was about.

 

“Aww, Wookie. You are just jealous that you don’t have such a great fake-boyfriend like I do!“ — Jiyong was grinning at him as he snatched Dongwook‘s drink, took a sip and handed it over to Seunghyun, who gladly took a sip as well and grinned into his glass when he saw Dongwook‘s face, but quickly looked away when the look changed from surprise to something different. Dongwook was giving him the ‘you still haven’t told him‘ look and Seunghyun really, _really_ didn’t feel like having that conversation now — he wasn’t nearly drunk enough for that, yet anyways.

 

Thankfully Jiyong didn’t seem to notice the silent conversation the two Choi‘s were having, because he was already talking to Daesung and Kyungil, who had taken a seat right next to them in the booth — and Jiyong scooted a bit closer to Seunghyun then, making sure the other too had enough space. The older one tried to ignore it, but he could feel the warmth radiating off of Jiyong and normally he would hate it, because it was already hot enough, but this was Jiyong and he was always the expectation and he looked _so amazing_ right now.

 

He had dyed his hair again — the previous fiery red, was now a neon green. It was almost unfair how well these bright colours fit the younger man, because Seunghyun was sure that he would look ridiculous with green hair — hell, even with orange hair, like Jiyong had had them after the red had washed out.

Seunghyun carefully leaned in a bit closer — he could smell Jiyong‘s shampoo (green apple or something similar fresh, which made him chuckle, because it fit perfectly with Jiyong‘s current hair colour) and his cologne and then there was also the faint hint of his natural scent, which Seunghyun loved the most — no perfume could ever smell as good as Jiyong did and if that wasn’t enough, he had outdone himself when it came to his outfit and make-up. He didn’t know shit about make-up or what the things were called he had put on today, but it looked amazing. It was subtle, but just enough around the eyes to make his eyes pop and the longer he stared at his mouth the more he was sure that he had also put on lipstick, or lip-gloss or _whatever_ , because his lips looked so incredibly kissable (tho they always looked this irresistible so maybe Seunghyun had started to hallucinate).

 

He got ripped out of his thoughts when he felt Jiyong tug at his hand, pulling him up from his seat and scooted out of the booth with him — Daesung and Kyungil had gotten up so they could get out and they were _both_ grinning at him. Why? — he wasn’t sure, but he was too preoccupied to think about that because Jiyong was pulling him towards the dancefloor and that was the only thing he could concentrate on right now. They came to an stop and Jiyong looked up at him with happiness sparking in his eyes as he started to dance — or whatever the movements he did classified as. Seunghyun knew he could move without problems, but his tact when it came to dancing was none-existing. Jiyong didn’t seem to mind, so that didn’t bother him much.

 

The younger man danced closer to him, still giggling whenever Seunghyun did one of the more ridiculous moves — burying his head in his chest, laughing again.

 

Seunghyun got so lost in making Jiyong laugh and dance his ridiculous dance that he didn’t even realize that he had accidentally knocked against someone behind him — he whirled around, ready to apologize, but felt his blood freeze when he saw who was in front of him. It was Douche Dude, who currently had his tongue down someone else‘s throat and he heard how he noticed the shocked gasp of Jiyong behind him. Douche Dude finally stopped kissing the other man and sent a dirty glare over at Jiyong and Seunghyun immediately felt like punching that guy.

 

“What the hell — one small argument and you already fuck someone new? Really?“, but the guy wasn’t impressed by what Jiyong had said at all and instead seemed to get angry. Seunghyun protectively stepped in front of Jiyong — if that guy was about to cause a scene he wanted to make sure that Jiyong wouldn’t get hurt.

 

“Oh, fuck you, Jiyong. Don’t make me into the bad guy here — You know you only dated me, or whatever that between us was, so you wouldn’t look at him!“

 

Seunghyun suddenly felt like someone pulled the rug underneath his feet as Douche Dude pointed at _him_. His head started to spin — _what?!_ His head snapped back to Jiyong, who looked like he was close to tears, glaring at the other man and his whole body language practically screamed ‘ _fuck you_ ‘ — what?

 

“Oh, you still haven’t told him? Huh, I thought that as soon as I was gone you would finally bone your precious roommate, but seems like he still hasn’t caught onto your _huge crush_ on him, huh Jiyong? By the look on his face it seems like he really didn’t know — _so sorry_ for exposing your dirty little secret. Crushing on the straight friend, a classic.“

 

Seunghyun was ready to pounce — no one was allowed to talk to Jiyong like that, but his head was working in overdrive and he couldn’t think straight. Jiyong — _his precious Jiyong_ — had a crush on _him_? Seunghyun suddenly felt a huge, goofy smile spread across his face — he wanted to hug the whole wort right now.

 

But as soon as he turned around all he saw was the back of Jiyong‘s skull, darting out of the room — Douche Dude was saying something, probably insulting him or Jiyong, but that wasn’t important anymore. The only thing that mattered was Jiyong, who was running out of the bar, and Seunghyun ran after him. At least, he tried. Jiyong‘s built was smaller than his own and he had trouble with catching up — it took him ages until he was finally out of the bar and he immediately tried to locate Jiyong.

 

Shit, where did he go? He reached down and took out his phone — thank god for Snapchat. He had hated it at first, but Jiyong had more or less bullied him into using it and right now he was _really_ glad Jiyong had done that.

 

He quickly opened the map and located Jiyong — seems like he had walked back home. Perfect.

 

Seunghyun had never ran as fast as he had in that moment — and he was sure that he nearly tackled at least four people, but he just needed to see Jiyong _now_. If it was true what that Douche had said, he would be the happiest person on this fucking planet. — and if it really was true, he needed to talk to Jiyong about it as soon as possible, because he didn’t want the younger man to think that he didn’t want him for just _one second_.

 

He was so impatient he didn’t even wait for the elevator to arrive, but instead took the stair — he was close to collapsing once he finally reached their level, but not even passing out from the lack of oxygen would stop him right now. As soon as he reached their apartment door he frantically reached for his keys and stumbled into their flat — there were Jiyong‘s shoes scattered across the floor and it nearly sent him flying head first into the opposite wall, but he managed to regain his balance, threw the door shut and made a beeline to wherever Jiyong was right now.

 

His eyes quickly scanned the living room — nothing; and he also wasn’t sitting on the balcony so maybe his room? He quickly walked through their apartment and then he heard it — small muffling sobbing noises and Seunghyun felt like something was breaking inside of him. He practically ran to Jiyong‘s room, but stopped once he was in front of the door to take one last breath — there was no turning back, and he knocked.

 

The sobbing stopped for a moment.

 

“Jiyong, it’s me — can I come in?“

 

“Go away, Seunghyun.“ — his voice was thin and it sounded like he was crying again and Seunghyun was having none of it. He pushed the door open.

 

Jiyong was lying curled up in a ball on his bed, back to the door and face buried in one of his pillows, trying so hard to conceal his sobs and Seunghyun just wanted to go over there and hug him — so that‘s what he did. Wishing a second he was by Jiyong‘s side, carefully placing his hand on his shoulder, massaging the tensed muscles. “Ji, turn around please. We have to talk.“

 

“No, thank you. I already know what you are doing to say — ‘Jiyong, you are my friend and I appreciate you as such, but I am straight so I can‘t return your feelings. Also, I am going to move out, because I can‘t live with a faggot that has a crush on me.‘ — I can do without that, thank you very much.“

 

In a way it was adorable how worked up Jiyong got, but Seunghyun didn’t want him to even think like that for a second. “For one, I am not straight so you are already wrong about that.“ — he couldn’t help but grin as he felt Jiyong freeze up and then sit up frantically to turn around and stare at him.

 

“Bullshit — you _are_ straight. I talked to Youngbae when you moved in and later on talked to your co-workers, and _they all_ said you are straight. If this is your way of trying to be funny, then I swear to god Seunghyun I am going to dismemb—“

 

“Do you really think that I would be that cruel and do that to you?“

 

Jiyong grew quiet at that — his tears had stopped and he quickly tried to wipe some of his smeared make-up off his cheeks and dry the remaining tears on his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “I know you wouldn’t, but _you are straight_ — you can't tell me that you suddenly realized you swing for both teams, let alone that _I_ am the one you like — or who made you realize you like guys, shit I am not that lucky.“

 

It hurt to hear Jiyong speak like that — was he really thinking that lowly of himself?

 

“Well, it was a bit more complicated than that actually.“

 

Jiyong still looked like he didn’t believe him _at all_. “Care to explain how it happened then? — and why it was complicated?“, Jiyong replied snappishly and Seunghyun both wanted to kiss him and smother him with one of his pillows.

 

“Alright, uhm — where to start.“, he thought back to all the things that had happened between them up until now and it was hard to really decide where to start so why not start at the beginning?

 

He cleared his throat before he started to speak. “When we first met I was still sure that I was straight, that‘s true — but even back then there was already something special about you. I had no problem with you hugging me or touching me or being close to me, even though I normally need a long time to adjust to someone to let them close like that — even now I still push Kyungil away whenever he wants to hug me or whatever — but with you? I felt comfortable immediately and this whole ‘pretending to be your boyfriend‘ made me a lot happier than it should have and it didn’t stop there — whenever we would watch a movie and you would use me as my pillow I’d notice how good you smell and how nice it was to have you close, but I didn’t make the connection just yet that I liked you — I am a bit slow like that.“ — he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Anyways, I remember how we were at a club, or bar, or whatever a while back and one guy tried to hit on you and — I don’t know, I really didn’t want that to happen so I practically ran over to you, asking to dance and I didn’t think twice about it. I just thought that I wanted to spent more time with you because I hadn’t seen you much during that time duo to our busy work schedules, but it happened again. The next time was when I saw you with another guy — you two were dancing or even kissing? I don't remember it well, which I am actually glad about — anyways I felt really sick and went home. Originally I thought it was because I had drank too much alcohol and then you came home and made me a cup of tea and I thought it was the tea that helped and I _still_ didn’t make the connection.“

 

“The next time I saw you with Douche Dude—“

 

“Douche Dude?“, Jiyong grinned at him.

 

“Shut up, I never remembered his name nor do I want to — okay? Now shush and listen — anyways, you met him again and I saw you on the dancefloor while I was dancing. Shortly before I saw you that girl tried to get close to me and I think she kissed me? But it didn’t feel good and then I saw you and that Douche kissing and I felt sick again so I bolted again — went home, made me the same tea you had prepared, but it didn’t work this time. I felt so sick and didn’t know what was going on. I thought that it was just my stomach acting up and just hoped it would get better soon — but it didn’t. The next day you had a date with that Douche and we had that fight and I felt _terrible_ , okay? I still didn’t know why, but I knew that I hated to fight with you and we got better, but then you mentioned that he would come over and I suddenly wasn’t fine anymore so I made sure I wasn’t there when he would be around and when I came home the next day — after you,“ he faltered, not really knowing how to say this “—after he spent the night, I just snapped — but I _still_ didn’t know why I suddenly got so angry. I just was — angry and pissed off and my stomach hurt all the damn time and then you asked me if it bothered me that you had sex with him and out of reflex I said ‘no‘, but that just felt wrong to me and then we had another fight and you didn’t come home and when I woke up I tried to play it cool, that it was no big deal, but then my sister came over and you came back and you didn’t talk to me and it _killed_ me.“

 

He stopped for a moment, taking another deep breath. “—two weeks or so after that I came home drunk and saw you and _him_ making out on the couch and that was too much for me to handle. You tried to get me to talk, but I was freaking out. I didn’t know what it meant that I felt the way I did, that I was that _repulsed_ by seeing you with another man, so my first thought was that I was a homophobe, that maybe my grandma‘s upbringing had internalized homophobia in a way and I had a server mental breakdown about that, because how could I be _that_ when I was friends with you? I hated myself so much in that moment you have no idea, and then I called Wookie, because I just _needed_ to talk to someone about it, someone who wasn’t you because I didn’t want to hurt you and he picked me up — we drove to his place and he made me talk, told me that I had to explain everything to him and once I was done he completely _lost_ his shit, but not for the reason I think he would.“

 

“He looked like he wanted to throw the coffee table in my face, no lie, he looked _that_ frustrated and then he was asking me if I ever thought about the fact that mabye I was jealous, to which I asked ‘why would be jealousy of Jiyong‘ and _then_ he really looked like he wanted to throw something at my face and literally screamed at me for being stupid and oblivious and he literally had to spell it out to me that I wasn’t jealous of you but that I was jealous that you seemingly liked someone else and only _then_ did I realize that he was right. — and when I came home a bit later that night and you were still waiting up for me it all came crashing down and I just, I really needed a hug and ever since then I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I‘m in love with you, but I was too scared that you might actually like that guy to try— or that you would feel uncomfortable if I told you, because I am your roommate and all that.“

 

While talking, Seunghyun had tried to maintained eye-contact, but his nerves were all over the place so he ended up staring at his own hands that were tugging and twisting Jiyong‘s bedsheet around so he would have _something_ to do — his cheeks were bright red again, he just knew it. Telling Jiyong his own story about realizing that he liked him was far more stressful than he had anticipated — his heart was knocking against his throat and his fingers were shaking and then it was quiet. Too quiet, and he felt like running away again, but then Jiyong‘s hands carefully reached for his own.

 

“You — you mistook your jealousy, for homophobia?“ — there was an undeniable undertone of amusement in his voice and Jiyong felt relieved for one second, before panic flooded his system. Was Jiyong laughing at him?

 

His hands tensed up — but then Jiyong grabbed his face with both his hands, carefully drawing patterns with his thumbs on his cheeks until he finally looked up and he forgot how to breath once again. The way Jiyong was looking at him right now was indescribable — he was smiling so brightly and there were tears in his eyes again, but this time he knew they weren’t there because of sadness, but happiness.

— and then Jiyong was leaning forward, brushing their foreheads against one another.

 

“I am in love with you, too you giant idiot.“

 

— and then he was kissing him. Jiyong was _kissing_ him and Seunghyun‘s brain stopped working — he could only sit there and close his eyes for a moment to let this whole situation settle in fully, but as soon as Jiyong was about to pull back his brain finally kicked in again and he pulled Jiyong closer again, sucking his bottom lip between his own and deepened the kiss. His lips were so soft and he tasted so good, Seunghyun was sure that he would never want to taste anyone else ever again and he just couldn’t stop kissing Jiyong. It was everything he had ever dreamed about, yet it was so much better, too. The way Jiyong melted into the kiss, the way his arms locked around his neck and pulled him closer, or the way he sighed happily when Seunghyun slipped his tongue between his lips and it didn’t stop there. He just needed to feel Jiyong close in that moment and he let his hands fall from his face down around his waist and kissing someone had _never felt like this_ before.

 

Like he was floating, like a thousand fireworks going off, like getting completely lost in the other person, drowning in them and forgetting everything around him and whenever Jiyong‘s fingers would touch his bare skin it felt like fire, but in the best way possible and when they pulled apart he was already breathing heavily, but so was Jiyong so it was alright and then they were looking at each other and just started to giggle and Jiyong buried his head in Seunghyun‘s chest like all the damn times before, but now Seunghyun really felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest and the butterflies in his stomach were going crazy and he just _couldn't stop smiling_.

 

It took them a couple of minutes until they finally calmed down and then Jiyong was looking up at him again and he saw _that look_ again, and he finally knew what it meant, he finally understood. Shit, all this time Jiyong had actually _liked_ him and he hadn’t realized it — not at all, even until now he hadn’t really believed it, but Jiyong had just kissed him and told him he was in love with him, too and his cheeks already hurt from smiling so big but he just couldn’t stop it.

 

“With the possibility of me sounding like a god damn idiot again —“

 

Jiyong giggled again.

 

“—does that mean that I am your boyfriend, now?“

 

Jiyong bit his lower lip, still smiling and gazing up at him.

 

“God, lemme kiss you again you moron.“

 

“Is that a yes?“

 

“Fuck yes it is.“

 

They ended up kissing all night long.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ——— and now on to the smutty part of this fic.


	4. four

When Seunghyun woke up the next day, he felt Jiyong’s body pressed up against his own — there was an arm wrapped around his chest, a leg between his thighs and he could feel Jiyong‘s soft lips mouthing at his throat and collar bones and within seconds he was fully awake. He moved his arm, pulling Jiyong until he was on top of him — smiling down at him with the same besotted smile from last night and Seunghyun just couldn’t get enough of this, of Jiyong and him looking at him like that. His eyes wandered from Jiyong‘s eyes to his still swollen lips and down to his neck where he left more than just a few lovebites and he couldn’t help but reach out and touch them.

 

“Good morning, baby. Slept well?“

 

Seunghyun felt like melting on the inside. “With you this close? Absolutely.“

 

Jiyong didn’t answer, but took Seunghyun‘s hand in his own and started to leave feather light kisses on his hand, that soon turned into lingering kisses and Seunghyun felt his mouth go dry as Jiyong took one of his fingers inside his mouth, sucked and grinned down at him with a suggestive smile. Shit. That alone was enough to make him stir in his underwear and from the way Jiyong was smiling at him _now_ he had felt that.

 

Without batting an eyelash Jiyong started to move his hips, pressing his ass down on Seunghyun‘s swelling cock and he felt his breath hitch — shit that felt good. He bit his lower lip, trying to hold in his heavy breaths, but then Jiyong was leaning forward and biting his lower lip and pulling at it until his mouth fell open and he had no choice but to gasp out when Jiyong picked up the intensity of his movements. He was hard in not time and then Jiyong was caressing his chest, trailing kisses down his neck and Seunghyun decided that he didn’t care if Jiyong heard his moans or not, he just wanted him to continue touching and kissing him like that.

 

His eyes nearly rolled back in his skull when Jiyong let his hand slip down between his legs, massaging his cock through the thin material of his underwear. “If you want me to, I would gladly take care of that — what do you say?“

 

If his heart hadn’t been beating a thousand miles per second already it surely was now — was Jiyong suggesting what he thought he was? He looked at Jiyong again and nearly gasped when he saw just in time as Jiyong grabbed one of his hands and started to suck on his finger again.

 

“Please, I —“ , but he didn’t even had to say anything. Jiyong gave him one last killer smile before he pulled up Seunghyun‘s shirt up to his armpits and left even more kisses on his skin, sucking and exploring every inch of his chest until he slowly made it down to his stomach and then finally settled in between his legs. Seunghyun was so hard by now he was about to cry from frustration, but then he could feel Jiyong‘s hot breath on his cook, mouthing and licking at him through the thin material of his underwear and it took everything in him not to thrust up into the pleasant warmth of Jiyong‘s mouth.

 

Apparently he wasn’t the only one who was being impatient, because one second later Jiyong grabbed his underwear, eased Seunghyun out of it and wrapped his full lips around the head of his cock and _fuck, fuck, fuck_ — he had never thought that a blowjob could feel this fucking good, but then Jiyong moaned around his cock, taking him deeper into his mouth and down his throat, sucking happily and the moans started to spill from his mouth. He tried to keep his hips down, he really did, but Jiyong‘s mouth felt too fucking good he couldn’t completely stop. But Jiyong didn’t seem to mind — instead he started to moan louder around his achingly hard member, to suck harder and his hands slipped down underneath his ass and pushed him, signalling him it was okay to thrust into his mouth and _that_ sent an intense wave of arousal through him. He could feel the familiar tightness in his lower stomach, the way his skin started to prickle and —

 

“Jiyong, I am about to come—“ but instead of pulling away Jiyong slipped his hands down to his balls, squeezing and massaging them and then Jiyong pressed his tongue against the sensitive underside of his cock, right underneath the head and swallowed his cock down one more and Seunghyun was _gone_.

 

His toes curled, back arched and he couldn't do anything but uselessly thrust his hips into Jiyong‘s mouth who sucked at him until he had swallowed every last drop and let go of him with a pleased smile on his lips, licking with his tongue at the head one more time, before trailing kisses up Seunghyun‘s body.

 

Seunghyun was still breathing heavily, panting, but then Jiyong was close to him again and he just had to kiss him, to have him even closer and he wrapped his arms around him to pull him against his chest and Jiyong collapsed on top of him, with their lips locked. They kissed and kissed and Seunghyun felt light headed from coming this hard, but as he felt Jiyong‘s own erecting press against his stomach he knew he wanted to return the favour — maybe not all the way yet, but wanted to make Jiyong, come too. He let his hands wander down Jiyong‘s body — much like he had done a few minutes before, played with his nipples until they were hard and made Jiyong moan out and then let his hands wander down the rest of his body.

 

“You don’t have to—“

 

“But I want to.“ he didn’t wait any longer and slipped his hands into Jiyong‘s underwear, immediately wrapping it around his aching cock — the tip was already leaking precum and the way Jiyong jolted and moaned out at his touch told him that it wouldn’t take long for him to make Jiyong come and _he loved it_. He loved how much power he seemed to have over Jiyong and didn’t wait much longer — this thumb pressed against the slit, before he let the rest of his fingers wrap around the head, collecting precum and then proceeded to jerk him off.

 

The angle was different and he quickly realized Jiyong had other preferences while jerking off than he had, but that didn’t scare him — it excited him. He wanted to learn all the tips and tricks to make Jiyong hard and cum writhing minutes. He wanted to know everything about Jiyong and how to get him off the fastest was also included in that and he was right — it didn’t take long. Jiyong‘s hips were moving tirelessly in synch with his hand, thrusting faster the closer he got to the edge and his nails dug into the muscles of Seunghyun‘s thighs as his moans got higher and louder and then finally his body tensed up, his eyes rolled back and Seunghyun had never seen anyone look this good when coming. He continued to fuck into Seunghyun's closed fist until the last bit of cum had left him and when he was finally done he collapsed on top of Seunghyun‘s chest, still panting heavily.

 

“Hmm, I could get used to waking up like this.“

 

A dopey giggle escaped Jiyong‘s lips — Seunghyun could feel his hot breath on the side of his throat; he planted a few kisses on Jiyong‘s forehead, before kissing him on the mouth. “Me too.“

 

 

* * *

 

 

In a way it‘s strange — they still act the same more or less; they play around, laugh, go shopping together, cuddle on the couch when watching movies, but it is also _so different_ now. Seunghyun doesn’t have to hold back anymore — whenever he feels the urge to kiss Jiyong or hold him close he just _can_ and he makes good use of that privilege. He couldn't remember if he had ever felt this needy for someone‘s attention, wanted to kiss someone this badly all of the time, but he wasn’t complaining and neither was Jiyong — if possible the other man had grown even more affectionate with him and Seunghyun had to admit that Jiyong had him swooning more than just once.

 

Looking back, he finally realized that the way they had been acting already had been as if they had been dating and he once more wanted to kick himself for not noticing sooner — but Jiyong told him that it was alright and that he shouldn’t worry so much about what had been since now they had finally talked it out and were happy.

 

He still was curious about how Jiyong had realized he had fallen for him, which was why during dinner a few days after they finally got together he just asked. Jiyong nearly choked on his spaghetti, his cheeks burning red and fidget with his fork.

 

“I think, the moment I saw you I already liked you — even though I didn’t act like it. You seemed so lost and adorable and then you proposed the idea of being my fake-boyfriend and you were so awkward about it it was endearing and then we moved in together and even though I _knew_ you were straight I started to wonder what it would be like if we dated for real — and you always acted so sweet when you were around me, I really started to believe in this fantasy.“

 

“But eventually I realized that you wouldn’t return my feelings so I _tried_ to meet other guys — the first time I was really taken aback by how you just dragged me away from that guy and I was hoping so bad that you actually liked me, but you never made a move or said _anything_ about even the possibility of you liking me so I just, I don‘t know, tried to find someone that would take my mind off you, because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with me being in love with you, but I also couldn‘t shut up about you making a really good boyfriend so I thought that I was being really obvious all the time.“ — he pushed the food on his plate from side to side.

 

“— and there were so many moments where I thought you were jealous — remember our second fight? How I asked you specifically if you hated me having sex with another man? I thought that maybe if I pushed you that you would finally realize how you had been acting like a jealous boyfriend and that you maybe liked me more than just a friend, but that didn’t happen either and then when you hurt your hand and _Douche Dude—_ “, Jiyong had adapted that nickname to his pseudo-ex, “was acting like an asshole I just snapped, because I knew that no matter what I did I wouldn’t just move on from you and well, then the thing in the club happened and I was still so sure you were straight, because you made out with that chick in the club and all that so when he basically told you that I was in love with you I freaked out and ran — if I would have known you felt the same I would have started to make out with you then and there.“

 

“You can make out with me now?“

 

Jiyong giggled, “You are an idiot.“ — but moved him closer, kissing him with everything he had.

 

“Yeah, _your_ idiot.“

 

* * *

 

 

Something Seunghyun can enjoy even more now that they are officially a couple is taking Jiyong out for dates — he no longer has that voice at the back of his head that is making him question everything; is this a date? Is this more? Are Jiyong and I just friends? They all vanish and he doesn’t have to worry about someone else snatching his boyfriend away from him anymore and he can actually enjoy his date with him.

 

For their first official date they go back to their favourite restaurant — Mrs. Park and Mr. Bhaduri are already waiting for them, since Seunghyun had called beforehand to make sure there was a table for them (and he maybe also slipped that it was definitely a date now, Mrs. Park had more often than not asked him about whether or not he and Jiyong were actually boyfriends and had squealed in delight when Seunghyun finally told her that — yes, they were dating. Finally).

 

Mr. Bhaduri had made sure that they had one of the rooms just to themselves — said something about how Seunghyun and Jiyong had by now come over that often that they had contributed to them paying off their loans, but Seunghyun suspected that they had just taken a great liking to Jiyong and him, too. The pair arrived and Mrs. Park had already placed their favourite snacks on the table and brought them their food just a couple of minutes later — these two were just too cute and Seunghyun was so happy that he had found this place. Now more than ever.

 

They were sitting face to face — with Jiyong playfully nudging his own foot against Seunghyun‘s, stealing glances at his boyfriend and grinning shyly whenever Seunghyun wiggled his eyebrows at him. It was sweet — domestic in a way, but that didn’t mean that his heart didn’t make little jumps whenever Jiyong looked at him in a certain way, bit his lip or reached out for Seunghyun‘s hand.

 

It was an hour or so into their date when Mrs. Park slipped into the room again and told them that if they maybe wanted to listen to some music she could set it up — she had found old vinyl from the 1940s in the basement and Jiyong was on his legs so fast he nearly made his chair fall over — it was cute how excited his boyfriend got over the smallest things and not even five minutes later they were slow dancing to an old song Seunghyun didn’t know, but the melody was perfect, slow and full of emotions and he just held Jiyong in his arms — kissing him every now and then again. How did he get this lucky?

  
  
  


It was already past midnight when they finally get home — Mr. Bhaduri had given them a few traditional Indian drinks of which Seunghyun had already forgotten the name of, but they had been good and now Jiyong and he were both slightly tipsy. They giggled their whole way back home, knocking shoulders, wandering hands and eager kisses.

 

As soon as they stepped into their apartment, Jiyong was all over him — pulling at this shirt and walking Seunghyun backwards until the back of his legs hit the couch and he fell backwards, only for him to climb on his lap in an instant. Hands were roaming and Jiyong had buried his hands in Seunghyun‘s hair, tugging at them and Seunghyun could only moan as arousal rolled through his body — he returned the kisses just as eagerly, biting and sucking Jiyong‘s lower lip in his mouth, sucking on his tongue and leaving hot kisses on his throat and collar bones, while his hands slipped under his shirt and not even two minutes later Jiyong had lost his pants and underwear and Seunghyun his shirt and he just needed more.

 

The way Jiyong‘s legs wrapped around his waist was intoxicating and he couldn't help but stare at the tattoos on his thighs or the way the younger man‘s erection poked out from under his shirt. — they were both rock hard and Seunghyun simply opened his own pants and pulled him out, pressing Jiyong‘s hips down until they were flush against one another and wrapped his hand around both their cocks. It was unfamiliar, to feel the hot flesh of another dick pressed against his own or having balls pressed against his own and his cock, but it felt incredible. Jiyong felt incredible. His hot skin, his flushed cheeks, the way he pressed down on Seunghyun, getting impatient and rubbing their erections against one another, before he finally started to lazily move his hand up and down.

 

Seunghyun didn’t know how long they stayed like this — touching each other as much as possible, hips rocking, rubbing their cocks against one another while he jerked them both of — but it was perfect. This whole evening had been perfect and Seunghyun couldn't hold back anymore.

 

“I love you.“

 

Jiyong suddenly stopped his movements and stared down at Seunghyun — mouth agape, cheeks flushed and hair wild and for a millisecond he thought he had said the wrong thing too soon, but then he saw tears in Jiyong‘s eyes and a blinding smile.

 

“I love you, too. So much — I love you, Seunghyun.“

 

— Seunghyun immediately pulled him into a kiss, slipping another ‘I love you‘ in between each and every single kiss and their movements got frantic. Jiyong tirelessly moved his hips, moaning out without shame when Seunghyun grabbed a fist ful of his hair and tugged at them, causing Jiyong to throw his head back and Seunghyun immediately started to suck and bite at his sensitive throat again. Their breathing had gotten shallow, harsh pants, moans and curses slipped from their lips and within maybe half a minute they both came — Jiyong‘s thighs were trembling and Seunghyun was sure that he wouldn’t be able to move even if he wanted to.

 

He simply grabbed his shirt, wiped them both down as good as possible, before he grabbed a blanket and covered them both. They were too tired to make it into bed anyways, might as well sleep on the couch.

 

* * *

 

 

It didn’t surprise him at all when Jiyong spilled to all of their friends that they were dating the day after they got together — but he was taken a little bit aback by how excited Jiyong was to tell all of their friends, and not just in a subtle way. One of the first things he had done was take a shit ton of selfies with him — them cuddling on the couch, kissing on the balcony, holding hands when they should be eating breakfast but got distracted and so many more — and at least half of them ended up on Jiyong‘s personal Instagram account, as well as on Snapchat and Seunghyun was low-key deeply impressed by how aesthetically pleasing Jiyong managed to make them look without trying hard at all.

 

(It didn’t take long for him to spam his own account, too — much to Jiyong‘s and his sister‘s delight.)

 

The first time they hang out with their friends as an official couple was maybe two weeks later — Youngbae was home alone, since Hyorin was visiting her aunt in Seoul and Youngbae turned into this really huge, whiny baby as soon as she was away so he needed supervision. Meaning, Kyungil, Daesung, and Dongwook brought a lot of alcohol and maybe two hours after arriving at Youngbae‘s place they were all slightly drunk. Chaerin and Dara were sitting on the couch, cuddling, while Kyungil was sulking about how he was forever alone and just couldn’t find someone, who got quickly joined by Daesung, who was complaining about the exact same thing.

 

Youngbae was sitting next to Dongwook and by the look on the older man‘s face he was probably waxing poetry about how much he missed Hyorin and how amazing Hyorin was and that he couldn’t wait to marry her and did you know that he missed Hyorin? It was adorable to watch, but Seunghyun knew that if he would be the one who would have to listen to Youngbae all evening long, sobbing about his girlfriend he would have probably put his skull through the next wall.

 

While he watched his friends, his gaze wandering through the room, he spotted Jiyong standing in the doorway to the living room — already watching him, with a playful smirk on his lips and a wine glass in his hand. He licked his lips and pointed with his head backwards towards the hallway, signalling Seunghyun he wanted him to accompany him to wherever Jiyong wanted them to go — he was on his feet in an instant and as soon as he was close enough to his boyfriend, he got grabbed by the collar of his shirt and dragged into the bathroom, the door falling shit behind them and Jiyong locking the door. He made Seunghyun take the last sip of his glass before he kissed him — his body was pressed up against his own and Seunghyun could already feel the hard outline of his boyfriend‘s cock pressing against his thigh.

 

“I couldn't help but watch you all night, baby.“ — Jiyong‘s voice was low and sweet and Seunghyun got hard within seconds. His boyfriend had the special ability to turn him on so fast it was almost ridiculous at this point. He felt Jiyong’s clever fingers tug at his belt, opening his fly while his mouth latched to his throat, nipping and sucking every little bit of skin he could reach and it would be so easy to let Jiyong take control, but there was another thing he had learned. Jiyong had told him before, but getting the hands on experience was always so much better — his boyfriend like to get pushed around a bit, held down and being told what to do. Seunghyun had never thought that he would be into things like that, but with Jiyong? It was all he wanted to do — they hadn’t gone all the way yet, but that didn’t meant that he couldn’t push Jiyong around a little bit.

 

He quickly took Jiyong‘s hands away from the fly of his pants, turned him around and walked him forward until he was being bent over the sink, his face so close to the mirror that his breath condensated against the cool glass. Seunghyun made quick work of undoing Jiyong‘s pants, pulling them down together with his underwear over the swell of his ass and as he kneaded the soft flesh he could hear Jiyong choke out a breathless moan. He grinned even more when he reached down into Jiyong‘s back pocket and pulled out the small bottle of lube — Jiyong was so predictable it was amazing. His boyfriend had been teasing him all day long and he just _had_ had the feeling that he would pull something dirty as getting off in their friend’s bathroom during the middle of a party — he just knew and now it was happening and he couldn't get his hands fast enough on his boyfriend.

 

Seunghyun put lube on his fingers, warming it up before he reached between Jiyong‘s legs and spread it on the inside of his thighs, his balls and then his cock, too. They hadn’t fucked yet — or made love as Seunghyun liked to call it in his head — but they had tried this; thigh fucking, and they both loved it. Last time, Jiyong had been the one who had fucked him into the mattress and now it was Seunghyun‘s turn to return the favour — he quickly reached for his own cock, covered it in lube and positioned Jiyong in front of the sink again. He pulled their pants down a little bit more, before he pushed himself between Jiyong‘s hot thighs and Jiyong made sure to tighten his stance a bit more wanting to make Seunghyun would feel good, too.

 

Once they were settled, Seunghyun didn’t wait much longer but started to move — slowly at first, finding the perfect angle so his cock would drag and nudge perfectly against Jiyong and he had to smile when he realized that Jiyong had to stand on his tiptoes.

 

“Fuck, faster!“ — Jiyong‘s voice was ragged and breathless and Seunghyun lost himself in it. He fucked himself faster into the tight heat of Jiyong‘s thighs, his hands grabbing his hips so hard he was sure he would leave bruises, but all Jiyong did was thrust his hips back, meeting every roll of Seunghyun’s hips perfectly.

 

The room got filled with the wet noise of skin slapping against skin and their harsh panting — everything was so hot and Seunghyun felt like flying. He buried his head in his boyfriend‘s neck, whispering hot and sweet nothings in his ear as he continued to thrust into him. It was so incredibly hot — to feel the way Jiyong’s body reacted when he would thrust harder, when he would bite into his shoulder, when his hands would slip upwards and play with his nipples and _the noises he made_.

 

“Seunghyun, please —“, Jiyong desperately tugged at his hand, guiding it down to his neglected cock. “Please, I need—“

 

Seunghyun chuckled darkly. “What do you need? Do you want me to get you off, huh? Is that what you want? Are you already that desperate to beg for it?“

 

Jiyong could only mewl, whining as he frantically nodded his head. “Please, please, please.“

 

Whenever Jiyong begged it made Seunghyun lose his mind — he quickly reached for his cock, taking a firm grip on him and jerked him off in time with his thrusts, at every roll of his hips he would twist his hand over the head of Jiyong‘s cock, drawing more and more moans out of his boyfriend and all too soon he spilled over his hand, his knees nearly giving out underneath of him and Seunghyun pulled back.

 

He was about to finish himself of when Jiyong suddenly turned around again and dropped to his knees and opened his mouth — his hair was a mess from getting pulled and he was still panting harshly, but Seunghyun‘s eyes zeroed in on his soft lips and tongue. He was presenting his mouth, silently telling Seunghyun to use it as he pleased and who was he to deny that offer? Jiyong wrapped his arms around Seunghyun‘s hips and he could feel how his boyfriend started to relax his faw — with lazy eyes he looked up at him as Seunghyun slipped his hard cock into his mouth. It was like a goddamn power trip — to have Jiyong on his knees, looking up at him with big eyes, while he fucked his mouth.

 

Seunghyun bit his lip, trying to keep his voice down as he fucked into his boyfriend‘s mouth. He finally understood what all the hype about blowjobs was, because Jiyong was fucking superb in it — he had learned quickly, too. Now that he was used to it, Seunghyun happily admitted to sucking Jiyong off under the shower before work was one of his most favourite things to do — as well as fucking his mouth like he did now.

 

Jiyong‘s hands started to wander — they slipped back to his balls, to his premium and a clever finger slipped between his cheeks, massaging the rim. His fingers were still slick with lube and made it easy as sin for Jiyong to slip one inside and Seunghyun felt his knees buckle at that. Jiyong was not only amazing with his mouth and tongue, but also with his fingers and he could already feel orgasm approaching — the arousal bubbling up inside of him and his toes curling when Jiyong slipped another finger into him, twisting his fingers until he hit _that spot_ and Seunghyun came with a low groan, biting down on his lips and pulling Jiyong down his cock one more time.

 

Shit, that was good.

 

He pulled back — Jiyong‘s eyes were watering, but there was a naughty smile on his lips that turned into a smirk when he tugged Seunghyun back inside his pants and pulled them up again.

 

“You totally planned this didn’t you?“

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Seunghyun.“

 

“Oh really?“, he pulled Jiyong up — tugging him into his pants as well, but not before slapping his butt with a grin as well, “Then how come you had lube with you?“

 

“Lucky coincidence.“

 

This little shit.

 

Seunghyun shook his head, smiling.

 

“Come on, let‘s get back to the party.“ — Jiyong linked his arm with Seunghyun‘s, happily gazing up at him as they walked out of the bathroom. There was still music blasting in the living room and he could hear Youngbae singing something, when suddenly Dongwook stumbled out of the kitchen and into them.

 

He gave them a once over — maybe half a second, before his face twisted in disbelieve. “Did you guys just seriously fuck in Youngbae‘s bathroom?“

 

If he hadn’t been drunk he might have been embarrassed by that, but he wasn’t exactly sober right now and Jiyong broke into a fit of giggles so he joined in. Laughing loudly as they pushed themselves past Dongwook and into the living room. They were about to go back to whatever party game the rest of the gang was playing right now, when Dongwook staggered after them.

 

“Youngbae! They fucked in your bathroom!“

 

“They did _what_?“

 

Okay, maybe he wasn’t drunk enough for his sex life getting exposed like that to his friends. Seunghyun groaned loudly and buried his head in Jiyong‘s neck, trying to hide from his best childhood friend who was now glaring daggers at him and his boyfriend, while the rest of his friends wolf whistled at them.

 

It was good to have friends like them.

 

* * *

 

Seunghyun couldn't remember the time they had arrived at home — all he knew was that it was Sunday and that meant sleeping in with Jiyong curled around him, pancakes and maybe going for a swim, or lazing around in their apartment, watching tv shows while nursing their slight hangover. It was probably the later.

 

When he woke up, Jiyong was already awake — he could hear him move things around in the bathroom (probably looking for something against his headache) and Seunghyun eventually dragged himself out of bed to join him. He hugged Jiyong from behind — he was only wearing cotton shorts and his skin was so nice to touch.

 

“Good morning, baby — how is your head?“

 

“Not as bad actually, I think I am finally getting resistant against Youngbae‘s tequila mix. What about you?“

 

Jiyong chuckled. “Already took some painkillers and I‘m feeling better already — quick shower, teeth brushing and then breakfast? Sounds good?“

 

“Mhm —“, but Seunghyun didn’t let go of Jiyong just yet. He was still tired and Jiyong was just perfect to cuddle — Jiyong simply laughed at his clingy behavior, trying to move forward, but failing as Seunghyun held onto Jiyong even tighter.

 

“Come on, just get out of your clothes and we can take a shower and freshen up a bit and then we can cuddle some more — okay?“

 

Seunghyun unwillingly let go of his boyfriend, but nodded.

 

Showers with Jiyong were always fun anyways.

 

Half an hour later they were still naked and Seunghyun just couldn’t stop touching Jiyong — the little shit had pushed him into the shower and turned the water down to the lowest temperature, because he had wanted his boyfriend to wake up and now that he _was_ fully awake, he would make sure to get his revenge.

 

Thought he was sure his revenge was a thousand times better, than what Jiyong had done. They were on Jiyong‘s bed — wet towels carelessly thrown to the ground and hands wandering while they lazily kissed. Seunghyun took his time kissing Jiyong — they often did, but still, this time it felt different. They were naturally playful with each other, but now there was something different between them. During the last couple of weeks they had explored each other’s body in more than just one way — without having sex, yet though and Seunghyun tried to not make a big deal about them possibly having sex soon, but just the thought of it made him feel like a virgin all over again. It excited him, but he was incredibly nervous about it, too. What if he hurt Jiyong? He knew that they had tried enough of things that that was very unlikely to happen, but he still worried. What if he wasn’t good when it came to the actual sex thing?

 

Jiyong seemed to sense his boyfriend‘s trouble and slowly pulled back — there was a lazy smile on his lips as he brushed the strands out of Seunghyun‘s face. “What‘s wrong? Are you okay?“

 

“It‘s just —“, he didn’t really know what to say so he took Jiyong‘s hand in his own and placed it on top of his chest, right above his heart. “I want to go all the way, with you — it‘s just that I am nervous about it. Like — really nervous. We have tried so many different things and everything feels incredible, but I worry that I fuck up, because I tend to do stupid shit when I am nervous.“

 

There was that endeared smile on Jiyong‘s face again. “If it makes you feel any better I am really nervous, too. — I have been in love for you for such a long time now and the thought of actually making love with you makes my head spin.“, he shyly bit his lower lip. “We could just, you know, try and see how far things go — we don't have to go all the way just yet, though I really, really want to.“

 

“You do?“

 

“Yes _of course_. God, I think you sometimes underestimate how much in love I am with you. I just — I _love_ being close to you, to _touch_ you, you to touch _me_ — I want to show you how much I love you like this, too.“

 

“Okay.“

 

“Okay?“

 

“Okay.“

 

Seunghyun let his hands wander up and down Jiyong‘s sides again — thumbs grazing against his nipples as his boyfriend laid back down, pulling Seunghyun on top of him and wrapping his legs around him. He could feel the rapid heartbeat on Jiyong‘s skin, the way his breath hitched as he so much as trailed gentle kisses down his chest, peppering them up his throat — until he kissed his cheeks, his nose and his forehead and Jiyong was smiling again. The fear of fucking this up melted away and instead, he leaned down again — kissing him some more. This time their kisses didn’t stay innocent though — they became hungry and filled with passion and longing and just like that all his worries washed away.

 

The longer he kissed Jiyong the more ridiculous the thought of fucking this up became — this was Jiyong, _his_ Jiyong. He already knew how to make him come, how to make him tense up with pleasure — the only difference now was that he would actually be _inside_ of him this time around.

 

His knees felt weak just thinking about that and then Jiyong was reaching over to his nightstand, pulling out lube and condoms and Seunghyun knew they were ready. There was no turning back anymore and as he watched Jiyong spread some lube on his fingers impatience flooded his system. He wanted to be the one to prepare Jiyong — he had done it before and he loved doing it so he quickly took the lube from his boyfriend‘s hand, spread his legs and pushed a pillow underneath his hips.

 

“Someone seems to be eager all of a sudden —“, Jiyong‘s voice was teasing, but he could read him easily by now; he was nervous, too. He didn’t want that. He wanted Jiyong to be comfortable so he quickly leaned down and kissed him again — slow sweeps of tongue and playful nibbles on lips and Jiyong was smiling into the kiss again. They had all the time in the world and Seunghyun wasn’t going to rush this. They kissed and kissed and then finally Jiyong took his boyfriend‘s hand and guided it down between his legs, pressing his slicked up finger against his puckered rim and pressing it in — never breaking their lip contact.

 

Seunghyun put his weight on his other hand so he wouldn’t crush Jiyong completely with his body — not that he would mind, but this way it was easier to prepare him. He carefully slipped one finger inside, then another one and spread them. Seunghyun made sure to concentrate on Jiyong and on Jiyong only — he wanted to see if he was causing the other one pain, but he apparently was anything but. He could feel Jiyong relax around him, how he started to move his hips to draw him _in_ and how his breath started to hitch. Seunghyun continued to push a third finger inside — it was tighter than before but still, Jiyong managed to relax quickly and wrapped his legs around his waist again.

 

“I‘m ready.“

 

“You sure?"

 

“Yes, I am sure.“

 

He reached over to the new pack of condoms Jiyong had bought the last time they had went grocery shopping — Seunghyun still smiled when he thought back to the way Jiyong had blushed at him when he saw that Jiyong had not only one, but had put three packs into their cart.

 

Jiyong made quick work on ripped open the package, pulled out the condom and with careful hands placed it on the tip of Seunghyun‘s cock, rolled it down until it fit perfectly and then he let out a shaky breath that quickly turned into a big smile and then they were both laughing. They were both nervous, but not it was more anticipation than anything else.

 

“Ready?“

 

“As ready as I can be.“

 

They laid back down again and Seunghyun put some more lube on his dick, spreading it evenly and then he finally settled in between Jiyong‘s spread legs. He lined himself up, the tip of his cock brushing over his Jiyong‘s hole and he took one last look at Jiyong, before he finally pushed inside.

 

It was hard for him to keep his eyes open, but Jiyong‘s eyes fluttered shut as well and then he let out a shaky moan and threw his arms around his neck, pulling on his shoulders until his body was pressed against Jiyong‘s and he bottomed out. Once he was fully inside they both held onto each other for a moment, breathing each other‘s air and then they were smiling at each other again.

 

Jiyong bit his lip and nodded, telling Seunghyun wordlessly that everything was fine and that he could go on and just like that they fell into an easy rhythm. Seunghyun pulled Jiyong‘s legs up to his shoulders, effectively folding him in half and making it easier to go in _deep_. It was mesmerizing to watch his boyfriend — his hitched breaths turned quickly into heated gasps and moans, with every roll of his hips Jiyong got a bit more vocal and he looked so fucking hot Seunghyun had a hard time holding back. He felt Jiyong‘s nails dig into his back — his hands roaming up and down the whole length of his back until they finally settled on his ass and pushed him, encouraging him to move faster.

 

He rolled his hips, canting them upwards whenever he bottomed out, trying to find that one spot he knew should drive Jiyong insane with pleasure and when he finally found it, the reaction was immediately. Jiyong threw his head back, moaning out loudly, followed by a _‘fuck, Seunghyun — yessss just like that!_ ‘ and that was enough encouragement — his walls finally crumbled and he couldn’t hold back any longer. His thrusts got stronger, causing Jiyong to move up the mattress with each one — but Seunghyun tightened his grip on his hips, pushing him down instead and Jiyong went _wild._ His hands were clawing at the sheets, trying to hold onto _something_ as he trashed from side to side. He was biting his lower lip, mewling out in high pitched moans whenever Seunghyun hit his prostate just right — and there was sweat forming at his temples and his skin was getting slick with heat.

 

Their moans and groans grew louder the longer Seunghyun rolled his hips and it was getting hard to breath — Jiyong robbed him of it; the way he looked up at him, moaned his name and pushed his hips up to meet him, the way he gasped out ‘ _I love_ _you‘_ s over and over again, the way he could feel his hard nipples rubbing against his own chest or the way his cock twitched between them and leaked precum whenever he drove into him with enough force to make his eyes roll back. He groaned out loud when he felt Jiyong tightening around him, his inner muscles pulling him in again and again, cursing under his breath when he heard the sounds they made.

 

The rocking of the bed, the headboard knocking against the wall, the wet slicking noises of Seunghyun thrusting into Jiyong again and again and again and their wet skin slapping against each other — it was more than just intoxicating and his body was shaking from the intensity of their lovemaking.

 

“Seun — I‘m about to come, I— _shit, shit, shit_.“ He felt his the muscles in Jiyong‘s body contract, tense up and suddenly he went rigid — his back arching like a tightly wound bow and then he his hips were rutting desperately against him, pressing his cock against Seunghyun‘s stomach, creating the extra bit of friction he so miserable needed and with another thrust he finally came. He trashed from side to side, cursing out profanities, as his legs twitched from the force of his orgasm. Seunghyun felt his own eyes roll back as Jiyong tightened around him _perfectly_ — he took a stronger grip on Jiyong‘s hip, thrusting a few more times into him, before he hit his own high. Wave after wave the orgasm rolled through him and he fucked them both through it — until Jiyong was already over sensitive, and Seunghyun, too and he had to stop moving because his body wasn’t listening to him anymore and he collapsed on top of Jiyong.

 

They were both covered in sweat and cum and breathing heavily. Jiyong‘s legs were still wrapped around his waist, squeezing him once again tightly before they slipped down and fell onto the mattress and then neither of them were able to move for a while. Their nerve endings were still buzzing and the afterglow set in — Seunghyun felt how heavy his limbs started to feel and he finally rolled off his boyfriend, not wanting to crush him even more, but Jiyong quickly grabbed him with the remaining strength he had and pulled Seunghyun against his chest again, causing him to giggle.

 

“I don't want to crush you.“ — their breathing was still uneven.

 

“You won’t — I love your weight on me.“

 

“Well then —“, Seunghyun rolled over again, using Jiyong as his pillow as he buried his nose in his chest and he had to smirk. They both smelled like sex — and if he could smell it on them he could only figure how much the whole room must smell of them.

 

“Shit, my legs still feel numb.“ Jiyong curled his arms around Seunghyun, kissing his forehead, the side of his head as he tried to slip a leg around his boyfriend‘s waist again, but failed miserable.

 

“So, I take it I did a good job for our first real time?“

 

Jiyong cackled again. “Yes you did — you just easily became my number one.“

 

“Only now?“

 

Jiyong groaned and smashed his face against Seunghyun‘s , still grinning. “Have I ever told you that your pillow talk is just the worst?“

 

“—and yours isn’t?“, it just was too much fun to tease him.

 

“Seunghyun?“, his voice was a bit muffled as he spoke into Seunghyun‘s hair.

 

He lifted his head, looking up at Jiyong again.

 

“Yeah.“

 

“I love you.“

 

He grinned up at him.

 

“I love you, too.“

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright — that's the end of this 'oneshot'!
> 
> I hope you had fun reading this and got as frustradet as me while reading. How oblivious can one be? — but it was so much fun and I am really happy that I managed to finish it before Seunghyun is coming back. Things are tough these days so I hope I was able to make you all smile a little bit with this story. 
> 
> Feel free to word vomit at me in the comments, I love that!!


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